The State of the Union... of the World.

Unsustainable Government Business Model That Causes Society to Collapse

Create a Capitalist society with very few regulations. 

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Lots of people go into business selling unregulated things, like snake oil, to make a profit. 

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Create food and body care products that are pleasing and addicting, but a little bit toxic. 

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Get the population to buy these products in mass, making their use normal and commonplace.

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Create lots of people with mild chronic illnesses because the food and products they use aren't quite healthy enough to sustain their health. 

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More people need medical care. Insurance is invented to help people pay for medical care.

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Doctors are well intentioned, but their education is very limited to one area so they don't see the whole picture of health. 

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Doctors are primarily taught how to sell medications, not how to heal people. 

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Lots of people buy medications that only manage symptoms of illnesses as long as patients continue to take them regularly. 

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People become addicted to drugs without improving their health.

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More people get a little bit sick and more babies are born with health issues. 

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The entire Capitalism system relies on people buying things, so more people go into businesses selling food and products without enough safety regulations. Businesses invent things people don't need, then advertise why everyone needs them and shame people who don't use them (like fabric softener or air fresheners.)

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More people start to complain of new health issues from using these products, like allergies and eczema.

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More drugs are produced to sell to people for a wider range of health complaints. 

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People with illnesses realize they're not getting healthier, and their insurance only helps them get discounts on doctors that just give them drugs that don't fix the root causes of their health problems. They grow frustrated with how much money they're spending on health care, with not enough money left from their paychecks to buy food and products that don't make them sick enough to need doctors.

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"Health and wellness" businesses pop up that teach people how to prevent getting sick, because that's where people are willing to spend money. People don't want to see doctors anymore because they don't help.

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People listen to "alternative advice" to try and reclaim their health, such as: exercise as much as you can (until you injure yourself,) avoid salt for your heart (your heart requires salt,) stop eating meat because it's bad for your blood (your blood is built off all nutrients in meat,) and start buying and eating synthetic and ultra processed foods like protein bars and shakes because it's better than nature could provide for you (and creates a lot of profit for big businesses.)

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Companies pervert vitamins, minerals, and nutrients. They make them as cheap as possible to produce without caring if they're effective, then thrive on selling you these synthetic vitamins that are promoted as "natural." (Because the word "natural" has no regulation.)

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More people than ever are feeling sick, fatigued, and weak. They discover that their synthetic vitamins are not solving deficiencies in their blood work, and they start developing new problems from taking them, such as nerve pain or kidney stones. 

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Chronic illnesses become more severe and more common, and more people can't work due to them. People have less money, less trust in doctors, and less clarity on how to improve.

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Good honest people who aren't interested in money, but are interested in fixing the problem start going into business: Naturopathic doctors, functional medicine doctors, holistic nutrition coaches, food and environmental researchers, farmers that learn better ways, etc. They are successful in helping people heal and get better, as long as people can afford them.

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Doctors who actually know what they're doing stop accepting insurance that we're forced to pay for, because insurance dictates how they treat patients and these doctors know better. The wealthy have access to real medical help.
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Food businesses pop up based on the research, such as organic and regenerative agriculture produce with sustainable healthy practices. It's more expensive than the unhealthy food that dominates the market, so not everyone can afford it. People who can afford it start eating a lot better and feeling a lot better. They stop buying food from anyone else and avoid buying any products they don't trust.

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Big megacorporations start to buy out these small successful doctors and business. Then private equity groups manage all the finances of the megacorporations. Now many of the good food companies are generating money for the people who made food toxic in the first place. 

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More and more people start to wake up and realize that the whole system is rigged to keep them sick and only generate profits for the megacorporations and private equity groups. 

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More and more people lose sight of the meaning of life while in this Capitalistic society. Some start to fight back and start their own farms to live off of. Others give up and commit suicide. Others go on feeling really depressed and unhappy in life, losing themselves in mindless pleasures until they die. 

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Fewer and fewer people are able to find jobs that treat them like humans, especially people with chronic illnesses who can't keep up with demands, and fewer and fewer people are able to earn enough money to keep up with the inflation that comes as a result. 

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Too many people stop having babies because they're not affordable or the parents aren't healthy enough. 

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People with good intentions try to create new ways to help people have babies, such as IVF, but it goes against many religions and it's too expensive for many people. It also doesn't always work.

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 So then the population declines drastically. Most of the remaining population fights some type of chronic illnesses, to varying degrees of severity. People don't have the energy to fight back, and people are way too confused to know what to do about it.

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Lots of businesses go out of business. People don't care. They didn't have the money to shop anyway.

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Education goes out of business. People don't care, because they didn't like paying for what they were teaching anyway. 

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There are fewer and fewer doctors and lawyers, because fewer people are educated. There are fewer businesses, so people are forced to buy only what's available from people who are already super rich. Because only the super rich have what they need to run businesses. 

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Eventually society reaches a breaking point that causes societal collapse. People must start over and rebuild with new direction, other people invade and take our lands, or people give up and die. 

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Life goes on, forcing people to start over fresh.

What could have prevented this fate? Respect for your fellow human. Businesses should have always been conducted with respect for life and health, but instead they viewed people as cash cows to be milked dry. Health is a businesses model, not a human right. 

I left out a lot of factors, such as the power of distraction, slavery, unfair trade due to globalization, housing businesses models, and more.

I believe it's too late to fix the problem. There's no way to turn this sinking ship around without sinking us even faster. We're going to sink. There's already a ton of water rushing in. 

I'm not scared, though. This isn't a source of worry for me. I am of the opinion that everything needs to fall apart. We need to fail. And then we need to learn from our mistakes and start over. Look at all the previous empires that have fallen. Their collapses were not the end of the world. People always start over. 

The problem now is a little more complicated. The world is globalized and we have been depleting the resources. If one country goes down, it affects the rest of the world. We've managed to turn way too much soil into desert that food cannot grow on, so if we start over we're going to have to heal the land first. It won't be easy. But humanity will survive and we'll start over. Unless the next great mass extinction wipes out humanity - there have been a few mass extinctions that killed around 80% of life on earth before we came to be. It could happen. It's not out of the question. Nuclear war is possible too. Or bacteria that is antibiotic resistant grows in our guts and kills us all from the inside out. Or deadly mold (or mushrooms) grows on everything and chokes us out. It's all possible. Life is fickle. 

Until then, how in the world are people like me supposed to survive? I'm not healthy enough to make enough money to keep up with inflation and demands. I could try to lean to invest and live off dividends - who wants to help me learn? Of course, that means I'd be investing in evil practices that I don't support, but I hey, I need money. But in the end, my health is pretty bad and it's become difficult to enjoy living. I must find direction to help me live as happily as possible. 

What do I want out of life? I should just focus on that, right? Love and children. All I want is a family to live for. I'm really happy doing work that makes people's lives better too, such as working in a local, regenerative food system that makes food that is actually nutritious and heals the land. I need the energy for it, obviously, but I'll do whatever part I can. But it all feels really lonely without a family to love. And I have not been blessed with children, nor do I have the energy... in fact doctors have told me not to get pregnant because my body is too weak to handle it. 

More and more people are thinking like me. I've talked to so many people with chronic illnesses who are so jaded and have no faith in the medical system. More and more people are telling me they don't see the point in trying. 

People are losing faith in the meaning of life because evil profits the most.

People are tired of living for the benefit of evil. 

Anyway, I'll be voting for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for President.

What!? But he's that conspiracy theorist who is anti-vaxx right!? Hmmm... is he more of a conspiracy theorist than Trump, or is he actually fact-based? Yes, any man who claims that people have been lied to and wants to tell you the truth will always sound like a conspiracy theorist. The difference is that Kennedy is a highly successful lawyer who has fought against megacorportations like Monsanto and won on the ground that they cause harm to people. He actually knows company secrets, works with actual scientists, and is fact-based. He was a democrat, but is running as an Independant now. I actually have some hope for our future if he wins the election, and he's polling very very well. If Trump or Biden win I will carry on without much hope... until it's impossible to carry on because everything collapses. 

We have to be brave enough to want the truth, not to be submissive slaves to a system that "takes care of us" by sending our tax dollars to the other countries without addressing problems at home. You think Trump will take care of us common folk? Ha! He is jealous that he hasn't been part of a war yet. War boosts the economy too, you know. But it won't solve any problems. 

I'm not telling you to "wake up" because that implies you've been sleeping. No one has been sleeping, but many people have been comfortable in their own biases. Including me. I'm telling you to be open to new ways of thinking, look beyond your biases, and accept reality for what it is instead of what you want it to be. 

U2 - Cailfornia (There Is No End To Love)

I've seen for myself

There's no end to grief

That's how I know

Whoa, that's how I know

And why I need to know that there is no

Yeah, there is no end to love

U2 - Sleep Like a Baby Tonight

Hope is where the door is

When the church is where the war is

Where no one can feel no one else’s pain

Muse - Uprising

Paranoia is in bloom

The PR transmissions will resume

They'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down

And hope that we will never see the truth around

Moby - Dark Days ft. Lady Blackbird

If you stay you're gonna go

Underneath down below

So I'll fly

Fly away

From the apocalypse

David Byrne & St Vincent - Who

Who is an honest man?

Who is an honest man?

And just for a good laugh (because it's supposed to be ridiculously over the top... don't take the bad language seriously, it's a joke in the spirit of how serious the world is now):

Muse - We are Fucking Fucked

You really believe

We can survive all of this

The black vacuum of the universe

It was designed

To swallow us whole

It's a losing game

We're at death's door

Another world war

Wildfires and earthquakes I foresaw

A life in crisis, A deadly virus

Tsunamis of hate are gonna find us...Ahh

We are fucking fucked... Ahh

We are fucking fucked

We're at deaths' door

Another world war

Wildfires and earthquakes I foresaw

A life in crisis, Mutated virus

Tsunamis of hate are gonna drown us... Ahh

We are fucking fucked... We are fucking fucked

True

Just when you think

You are safe and secure

You'll forget what you need to remember

Living in peace

But you're living a lie

The game is rigged

We're at deaths' door

Another world war

Wildfires and earthquakes I foresaw

A life in crisis, Mutated virus

Tsunamis of hate are gonna drown us

Ahh... We are fucking fucked

Ahh... We are fucking fucked

Hole up

Stockpile

Hoard up

We are getting fucking fucked

Ahh... We are getting fucked

Ahh... We are getting fucked

Hey, hey, hey, fuck off

Hey, hey, hey, stockpile

Hey, hey, hey, fuck off

Hey, hey, we are getting fucking fucked

Walk A Mile In My Shoes With Me

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

We are conditioned to be productive, consume, be productive, and consume. It's a never-ending cycle. 

It is a bad cycle? Not necessarily. We have to work for our food, whether we grow it ourselves, forage and hunt for it, or work for money with which to buy it. Whatever system we rule our lands with must focus on the daily need to eat food. 

So what happens when a person becomes too sick to work for their food? Well... this is a scary question, and perhaps one of entitlement. 

In the far past there were 2 options:

1. These people would simply just die. Survival of the fittest.

2. Their families would keep them safe and feed them as long as possible, assuming they had families who could afford to. This very much depended on class and circumstances. If the family were peasants, vs if the family were nobility. 

Today, we pretend to have a more humane approach to chronic illness:

The government offers assistance, which all of the working class pays for through taxes (not by their choice.) This assistance includes a monthly monetary stipend, discount on medical care though basic insurance, and discounts or stipends on food. The trouble is, the assistance isn't enough. If they're single and have to live alone, best case scenario, people will qualify for section 8 government assisted housing. Have you seen those properties? They're often apartments in really poor condition full of black mold, which will keep people very sick. 

If you fail to benefit from this government assistance (not because you don't deserve it, but because you fell through the cracks in the system), you're forced to rely on your family to feed you or you're forced to work for money despite bad health. 

The problem with family is that they're not always supportive, and they often issue conditions on their help. I've read so many horror stories from people desperate for help who try to rely on family support, but end up more stressed and burdened than if they were homeless. This is usually because families don't have enough money to support the sick person, or because the families are full of skeptics who don't believe it's possible to be so sick. 

The problem with trying to work for enough money to support yourself during illness is that it's usually impossible. No, not just difficult. Actually impossible. The reason for this is that it's hard to get hired, and then it's hard to keep a job because sick people are unreliable and unable to advance. Another problem is that most sick people are unable to get hired for positions that pay well enough to even afford rent. They might have degrees or skills, but be unable to function well enough to use their skills. So they're forced to look for easier work that pays less. Right now it's hard enough for fully healthy and capable adults to earn enough money to afford life - it's that much harder for sick people. 

The Awkward Yeti

We need to be able to find hope in our doctors and scientists. We want to be healed. The trouble is, these chronic illnesses aren't treatable by doctors. At best doctors know how to manage symptoms with medications, or do surgery to reduce the source of the problem. If you're someone that is able to work full-time because of medication, you're lucky. 



Some of us find help from alternative medicine because it teaches us lifestyle choices that prevent causes of illnesses from continuing to keep us sick. But it often just gives us quality of life while living with the illness, and doesn't always heal us enough to be able to work full-time again. This is fantastic! But many illnesses are too complicated even for these natural methods. It's also a very expensive method just to improve quality of life, not necessarily recover enough to live life fully.

So there's really no good solution here. And that's why so many people with chronic illnesses give up and commit suicide. If our society doesn't allow for survival of the fittest to play out naturally, then people will take matters into their own hands and kill themselves. Is this humane? 

I do see a solution to all these problems, but it requires a paradigm shift in society. The solution is in building stronger, happier, and better supported families. We've built a society in which people are individuals, and each person must earn enough money to support their own needs. We really need to move away from this society of individualism, and instead build a society in which families can thrive. This might look like being able to live on a single-income again. It might look like keeping houses in the family, and multiple generations living together. It might look like moving away from big cities and forming smaller self-sustaining communities again. It might look like living with less luxury - we stop living like entitled nobles and start living like peasants again. 

The root of the problem is that managing a chronic illness is always a team effort, never an individual's burden. Society needs to have a structure that allows for people having hard times. We need safeguards against chronic illness and homelessness. A society that thrives on a family structure means everyone should have a family to rely on. People will always fall through the cracks, and there should always be assistance available for those people. But if families could afford to take care sick loved ones without going bankrupt, we'd have a MUCH stronger society with much less stress. 

Until we build that society... we have to take our responsibility to each other very seriously. We need to make choices that don't cause other people to get sick. We need to learn to love each other again. Every person has value. Every person deserves to live. It can be as simple as choosing to stop smoking in public. Choosing to stop using synthetic fragrances. Choose to avoid plastic as much as possible. Choose to reduce stress on others when possible. Choose peace over conflict when possible. Choose understanding over being right. Choose to stop feeding sugar to each other. Choose to stop using unhealthy oils in foods. Choose to cook at home more. Choose to eat dinner together. Choose to create more opportunities to rest and relax. Choose to find time to worship and foster faith together. Choose to be a community. Choose to care about each other. 

Am I being idealistic? Well, someone needs to be.. because practical solutions haven't been working. 

Afterall... is the fact that people with chronic illnesses struggle to live in this society their own fault for getting sick in the first place, or is it a society problem that we can't offer them a place in the world? 

We need to stop people with chronic illnesses from thinking suicide is their only option. 

The value of human life is not in the ability to earn money. 

Eivor - In My Shoes

It can take a long, long time

To find a reason and a rhyme

One minute you're dancing, wild and free

Next thing you know, you can hardly move your feet

Won't you, won't you wait for me?

I'm almost there, have faith in me

You say you know what I should do

But you have never walked a mile

In my shoes

I keep trudging up the hill

It feels like I'm standing still (standing still)

Pouring rain soaks to the bone

I shield my eyes and lean into the bitter cold

Won't you, won't you wait for me?

I'm almost there, have faith in me (faith in me)

You say you know what I should do

But you have never walked a mile (walked a mile, walked a mile)

In my shoes

Dear Organic Clothing Brands,

Coupon codes
Satva: FRIEND-W5NKDQS (Good until May 15th, 2019)
Pact: http://fbuy.me/iAufr



Dear organic and natural clothing companies,

First of all, recycled polyester is not organic or natural. It's not even sustainable. Plastic sustains until the end of time, but it breaks down to forms we can't use anymore, washes out of our clothes as micro plastics and gets into the water, then ends up in the fish we eat, so then it ends up in us and causes estrogen hormone disruption. Please stop treating recycled polyester as an organic fabric addition - it isn't!

Should I even get into the problem how many us with sensitivities cannot tolerate polyester on our skin? The reason I wear organic is to get away from the added chemicals and synthetic fabrics that my skin doesn't like. Polyester gives me horrendously awful body odor with a rash. It's so bad I gag myself on the body odor. My skin gets super tender and uncomfortable to touch, and then slimy too. My skin does its best to get polyester away from it.

Pact, I'm looking at you more than any other brand I'm frustrated with, mostly because I've loved you for years. You used to never use polyester at all, now you have way too many options with polyester. Most of your men's line contains polyester. Why? Why would you exclude men from having 100% organic cotton options like you do in your women's line? There are natural textile alternatives you should be using, especially considering your slogan, "Make organic an unnecessary adjective." Polyester doesn't fit that slogan at all.

Second, stop assuming all of your customers do yoga or are athletic. Some of us don't have the bodies we want for whatever perfectly valid and politically correct reason, and we don't really want to show off our butts and stomachs in overly fitted clothes. I have endometriosis, which causes me to bloat badly. I'd rather not call attention to my bloat with tight or overly fitted clothes. Some brands have gone the opposite extreme of making oversized baggy options. I don't want to look like a potato sack either! I have no problem with you offering plenty of athletic skin tight options for those with the bodies or desire to wear it, but please remember the average person wants their clothes to flatter them, not show off their flaws. Would it be possible to buy a pair of sweat pants with a bootcut and a thick enough and just loose enough fabric that doesn't show off every dimple in the butt? A pair of pants without any of that recycled polyester crap? Why not replace it with hemp or tencel or bamboo? Because I've been actively looking for that pair of pants for years. Maggie's has done the best job so far with this pant (due to the thickness, and can be sized up for a more relaxed and just as secure fit), but the length is too long and the hem is very difficult redo myself.

Third, I'm all for being fashionable... but why does that have to mean making so many options that show cleavage? Do you know how hard it is to find an organic cotton short sleeve tunic/ shirt tail cut that actually covers my butt (from the tight yoga pants your forced me to buy because there are not other options) without a super low cut neck line? Well you should know since you make the clothes! Maybe the super low necklines don't matter so much for the A and B cup ladies who can find an organic fabric sports bra to fit them, like on your models. But for the rest of us with average or large busts... could we please have modesty?

Let me take this point even further. We all have different bodies, but every band seems to be catering to the same body type. Most tunic center back lengths are around 27". (I know because I've spent hours researching the length on every organic tunic I can find.) I have a long torso and short legs, so I need a 30" center back length for the tunic to actually look like a tunic on me. 31" would be awesome too. I would wear tunics/ high-low hems if only I could find one that's long enough!

Speaking of men's issues, please stop with this snug shoulder width problem. If XL fits everywhere else just right, why are the shoulders always too tight? Because of the "modern fit" and "slim fit" issue. I don't need it to be slim in the shoulders! It's nice not have to excess fabric hanging off in the back, but why does that automatically mean as tight as possible in the shoulders?

Fourth, bras. Seriously, why in the world hasn't any brand filled this need!? I'm ready to fundraise money so I can start making brass myself. MANY women are 29 DD+ in size. I'm a 34DDD. It's impossible to find any sports bra made from natural fibers that actually fits us larger busted women. I've settled on this t-shirt Natori bra made from modal. There is no polyester that gives me skin irritation, and it fits well. But it's seriously the ONLY bra I've been able to find that works for me... and it's not a natural or organic fiber bra. Modal is borderline natural and my skin tolerates it, so good enough. But what about sports bras? Nope. Can't find any options. There are brands making great options if you're humble-size chested. Tasc, Boody, and Pact make great bras without polyester added. But none of them are designed for anyone over a D cup. Please, for the love of comfort and dignity, one of you brands cater to the rest of us ladies!

Fifth, stop making most of your pants as short ankle pants or long 32" inseams. In fact, can we move towards the way men's pants are sized (well, in conventional fabric pants)? I would love to be able to choose my waste size and inseam. If I'm going to spend $80 on a pair of pants, I shouldn't have to hem it or limit what shoes and socks I wear with it due to being short. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and the S, M, L, XL sizes with no choice of inseam is awful. Even the petite, regular, and long choices have too big of a difference between them! I was looking at pants that came in 28", 31", and 34". Um... too short and too long! Where is my 29.5 to 30" option?

My husband has a couple fit issues too. He has short legs, and needs a 29" inseam. 30" is too long and requires hemming or rolling up, but there are no organic pant options in a 29" inseam! In fact, men's organic pants have a *major* issue with not actually offering different inseam lengths. Most brands only offer their pants in 32" inseam lengths... way too long!

Lastly, color choices and patterns... are rare! If I wanted all of my shirts, pants, and dresses to be solid black then I'd be happy. Black looks bad on me. My skin is pale and my hair is brown - black washes me out. I want color! I want green, purple, blue, salmon, magenta, dark orange, violet... and I want them in prints or patterns! Almost all of the tops I own are solid colors because that's all that was offered, and they're mostly blue, because blue is the main color being offered (that isn't black or white.) Sigh. Try looking for a green 100% organic cotton t-shirt. Last I checked, Pact was the only brand offering it - and they didn't offer it for a long time. Try finding a green 100% organic 3/4th sleeve high-low/ shirt tail hem with a modest boat neck. It doesn't exist anywhere, I looked. All I'm asking for are options, please. Stop trying to be so basic all the time.



I want to commend some brands that are getting it right. Sometimes. Or mostly. Or good enough. Better than everyone else, at least?

Toad and Co's Earthworks Pants. Organic cotton with tencel, under $100 SRP, and you can find it at clearance prices. Tencel (from the eucalyptus tree) does what polyester does: prevents the wrinkles and helps with drape. Without destroying our water or hormones. Awesome! I know there have been some concern about the chemicals required to turn it into a textile, but I'm sensitive and have had no issues with the tencel in this brand. They have a bit of issue with size consistency. I own three of these pants and they fit differently. One is a skinny ankle pant, the other is full length and straight cut, and the other is full length and practically boot cut. I ordered the exact same style each time, I didn't go for the skinny or wide leg options. Hmm.

Toad and Co is also the best company for finding organic options with prints and designs. They do offer a lot of synthetic options too, so you have to be careful and read the fabric composition. They tend to be a little too expensive, but their clothes often end up on liquidation sites likes Sierra Trading Post and Camp Saver. Amazon sells many of their clothes, but not all, and often not at the lowest clearance price.

Pact Organic (in general). They have gone through too many big changes over the years, but I can usually (not always) rely on them for affordable enough well made basics. They make clothes the right way: small batches. When they come out with a new style, you better buy it quickly if you like it. They do offer amazing clearance sales, but that one shirt you loved may sell out before it reaches clearance. I normally just shop their sales, but I have occasionally splurged on a full price item just to make sure I get it.

They have done a really good job with the cut and fit of their clothes, and I'm never guessing about which size to order. Their underwear is all I wear - it's the best! It fits my wide hip size, doesn't ride up, doesn't sag, doesn't curl, doesn't wear out quickly... it's just perfect. Ironically, they offer lots of prints and patterns for underwear, but no longer do on their t-shirts. (Pact, if you read this, I miss your prints on your outerwear clothes!)

Gramicci's hemp and cotton mix tops. Simply awesome. The fabric is very lightweight and breathable, but not sheer or flimsy. It holds shape very well. I do have one hemp/cotton long sleeve shirt from them that is thicker than their summer options. Hemp is an amazing textile, much sturdier and less stretchy than cotton, also tends to be more breathable. My complaint with the brand is that their medium tends to be a little too snug, and their large tends to be a little too large. You will need to be careful with sizing.

I've tried several of Gramicci's pants, and I've returned most of them. They're very well made, but they are all cut for the same body shape that I don't have. They tend to be straight from the waist all the way down, and that doesn't work for me. I'm too curvy. I kept one of their pants that's a super skinny ankle pant that built in room for my wide hips, and they're a deep purple color. I paid $10 for them on clearance, so it's ok that I won't wear them too often.

PrAna's organic cotton tops. PrAna is a sustainable, fair trade brand (they are B Corp), but their focus is not on avoiding synthetic fibers. All of the cotton they use is organic, but most of the time it is mixed with polyester. This is because they're an athletic brand and they're focusing on moisture wicking properties. That said, their non-synthetic options tend to be fantastic. They are a very high quality brand, and their clearance prices are reasonable. I can't link to any specific shirt on their website because they update very frequently, but you can search by the fabric content. Such an amazing search feature! Check out their sale section - it tends to be full of a wide variety of options.

I have a hard time recommending PrAna's pants, though. I'm always between sizes, so they're either too big or too small. Some of the ones that have fit me have been too stiff. The quality is so high that it's hard to move in them. Recently most of their pants have moved towards being a cotton and polyester mix, or nylon. They occasionally come out with a natural fabric pant. I have their Avril Hiking Pant, which is all organic cotton with a little spandex. The band is stretchy, not a button close, so they're actually comfortable for most situations. The inseam was incredibly long and I had to hem them, which took some skill to do because the bottom has an elastic draw cord. The problem is that they are hiking pants, meaning they look like outdoor adventure gear and not normal casual pants. I tried on their new Soledad pant last week - I was so excited by the drawcord waist and the non-synethic fabric. I ended up hating it - billowy around the thighs, too tight at the ankle. They advertise it as if you should roll up the cuffs as a style choice, and I was able to, but it was tight.

Tasc Performance. Careful, some of their older styles use polyester and nylon. But they have a big line of a blend of organic viscose (bamboo) with organic cotton. Bamboo is the best anti-odor moisture wicking fabric - it can be made naturally (Tasc does it the best possible way), and it's superior to polyester's abilities.

Look at their St. Charle's collection. It's all made from this fabric, and they have a wide variety of options. Yes, it's all athletic gear, but much of it can be worn in any situation. Their goal is to eliminate the problem of needing different clothes for different situations. It's very high quality, so it might be out of your price range, and their sale prices are not always good enough.

I wear their TFFN sports bra. It's too small, but it fits better than any other organic sports bra on the market. I sweat a lot and this bra is amazing at keeping my skin breathing.



Honorable mentions:

Maggie's Organics. They have a few good options, but overall their sizing is really difficult to work with. Their colors tend to be bland too. They're worth giving a try to see if their clothes will work for you. You'll have the best luck if you're slender. The few articles of clothing I own from them have lasted for years and still look new, so the price is worth it. These are not fast fashion clothes designed to be thrown out after a season.

Fisher's Finery. Like Tasc, they use a mix of organic cotton and organic bamboo, as well as some silk options. The quality is very high, and their clothes are very comfortable. The problem is that they stick to skin-tight pants. They are all essentially leggings and yoga pants, even their business dress pants. This style does not flatter my butt and thighs, so I avoid it in public or without a tunic or dress. The pants and leggings are ridiculously overly comfortable though - it's better than not wearing pants at all. They compress slightly, have a silky texture, thick enough for warmth and modesty, and are not tight anywhere.

Satva. They occasionally have a really good option, but most of the time they're just not for me. They're mostly yoga clothes.

They make organic cotton work out tops with built in bras that I want so badly to like, but they just don't fit. I bought one in large (I'm typically a medium, but I have a large bust). The top is very tight around my stomach, but too big in the bust. It makes zero sense! The shelf bra band is only in the front, sewn into the sides. There is no supporting for the band from the back. The band is too big, so I get zero support whatsoever... but meanwhile you can see the shape of my belly button because it's so tight.


Other brands worth looking at, but I don't have enough luck with:
Woolrich - clothes tend to be boxy and stiff, only some organic options.

Patagonia - I have a lot of respect for the brand paying to research how polyester fibers wash away into our water! They do offer some organic options, but they still focus way too much on polyester... despite the results of their study. They try to educate on how to be responsible with polyester, but I don't think that's the responsible answer. Polyester is the problem, just stop using it. That's my opinion.

Columbia - just like Patagonia, they're an outdoor company that offers some organic cotton and hemp options. When they do offer it, the options tend to be really attractive and unique (a good unique.)

Privilage and (Dis)Ability

This is a follow up to my last post.

There are several reasons why I'm careful and guarded about who I give my energy to, but one of the biggest reasons is that I am a highly sensitive and empathetic person. I read people's energy, and it affects my own very quickly. This is dangerous for me because I don't have much energy to begin with. If someone is full of joy and positivity, it overwhelms me and makes me feel numb. If someone is full of resentment and anger, it spikes my adrenaline and makes me feel weak and worthless. If someone is full of melancholy, I feel a kindred spirit that I'm safe around because I'm not being met with expectations from them. I need to be around calm, relaxed, and laid back people to feel my best. People who are full of drive and determination, want to be too helpful, want to solve problems, want to vent and let off steam, or just want to have too much fun all overwhelm me. This doesn't mean I don't respect when people feel these ways. I am not asking you not to feel these ways, I simply need to guard myself from these feelings to protect myself.

If you know me personally, you might remember I used to be someone eager to analyze the problems of the world and try to come with explanations to understand them, maybe even come up with solutions to solve them. I wanted to talk about politics, religion, world events, and major news stories. I enjoyed thinking through world problems so much that I pursued a degree in Theology.

I can't be that person anymore. I am so overwhelmed with living day to day in my own skin, that I'm unlikely to have an empathetic and caring response to any world problem. You tell me children are dying every day from starvation in that country? I put up a wall immediately. If I choose to give care to this statement I'll be too sick to function. The emotions will exhaust me. You probably expect me to want to talk about how to solve this problem, and then appeal to my empathy and ask for my help in putting a plan into motion, or at least complain about the people who don't help. I can't do this. I can't feel my heart break for every suffering person in the world. It will cripple me. I need my energy to go towards standing upright, talking, digesting, doing chores, working my part time job, managing my pain, and staying on touch with the most important people in my life. If you ask me to spend my energy worrying about dying children that I have no ability to help, you're asking me to not have energy to take care of myself.

You want me to support Black Lives Matter, join the Me Too movement, join a political camp to either praise or hate on President Trump, become an activist for a controversial organization like Planned Parenthood (pro-abortion) or First Choice Clinic (anti-abortion), have a strong vocal opinion on vaccines, participate in Pride events like parades, stand on my Capitol steps protesting injustice with you...

You want me to be what you want me to be, a soldier in your activism army, and you're not listening to me. Yes, I live in the USA, the land of "tolerance," yet with extreme amounts of intolerance. I live in the land of having the privilege to be tolerant or intolerant. You want me to use my privilege to stand up for or against something. You want me to use my privilege to solve problems.

I can't.

And you're not listening to me.

I don't have the privilege of having energy to participate in the world. I wish I did. I have a whole lot of care deep in my heart and soul that I want to give.

I am not a cold-hearted closed-off person naturally. It's not my nature to ignore problems. I respect my body and soul's need to be calm and restful in order to live my life to the fullest I can in this condition. I am going against my own needs if I choose to get riled up over world problems. I need you to go solve those problems for me. I'm going to give my love, support, and respect to those of you who use your privilege, a.k.a ability, to go solve those problems.

Because that's the definition of privilege: Ability.

Do you remember my post on "Ableism"? It's just another term for privilege.

So in other words, I don't have the ability to spend energy on solving problems in the world.

I want you to stop viewing me, a white female college educated adult living in middle class USA, as a person of privilege and ability. I want you to start viewing me and people like me the way you view all the other minorities you're so concerned about. I am in a minority, one that is grossly mistreated: The sick and disabled.

Thankfully, there are activist organizations who are rallying the privileged/ people with ability to help people in my minority group. Next time you're looking for a world problem to solve, please consider helping those who don't have the ability to help themselves.

These are organizations related to illnesses I have. Please consider using your privileged energy to care about world problems on these organizations:

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Millions Missing

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)
Dysautonomia International

Endometriosis
Endometriosis Foundation of America

Multiple Chemical Sensitivities
Chemical Sensitivity Foundation 

I have wanted to write a post like this for a while, but I have worried about sounding like a fraud. I'm in a very good situation, considering I'm suffering from these illnesses. I have a good roof over my head, access to high quality food and water, husband and family who are very supportive, I am capable of working up to 12 hours a week (most of the time, I call in sick more than I like to), have been able to see really good doctors, and won my disability case. I have a lot more supporting me than the vast majority of people with chronic debilitating illnesses. I am extremely grateful, because I would still be 100% bedridden (if even alive) if not for all the privilege I have in my life to support me. I really want others with chronic debilitating illnesses that do not have this much support in their life to have more support so that they can be helped. This is my life goal now: finding help for the helpless in this minority group. These organizations make it possible. They help people who cannot win their disability cases despite being 100% unable to work, do not have family support, don't have roofs over their heads, do not have access to quality foods or water, cannot see doctors due to cost or accessibility, can't find a doctor to take them seriously and help them, and want to give up on life.

You want empathy from me? Give some to me and people like me too. I hope you understand why I'm too overwhelmed now. Thank you for listening.

The Problems of Privilage

Do you know what's hard for me to hear? That because I'm a privileged white USA citizen that my difficulties cannot compare to what impoverished people in other countries must face every day.

The statement is not fair. We are all born into different circumstances. Just because I was born into a country with wealth does not mean that I automatically get to take advantage of that wealth to make my life better. Wealth doesn't solve every problem, and it can actually create new problems. Life isn't about having wealth. Wealth ensures we have access to shelter and food, both of which are necessary to living life, but it doesn't ensure that we have health, love, joy, and purpose in life.

I deeply respect every human life. I want for every person ever born to have the right to a full life of health and love. My heart breaks for those who are born into a circumstance where they have no shelter or food, and life will never become easier for them. Does my situation compare to theirs? No. It does not. I say this while drinking hot organic tea, typing on a computer that I built myself because I'm educated, and enjoying the benefits of a new furnace heating my house.

That said, is it fair to say my problems are not valid? Should I eat all the food on my plate just because there are starving children in China? I'm so tired of the faulty logic about handling difficulties that is so prevalent. Just because I'm not as bad off as other people does not mean I can't experience difficulties that greatly impact my quality of life. Just because a child in Argentina is starving doesn't mean my problems don't cause me severe pain. If I could save that starving child's life I would do it in a heart beat! But I'll still be in crippling pain. I want everyone in the world who needs help living to be helped. What if that means I need help too?

Is the life of a starving child more important than an adult's life in the USA? You would assume the adult in the USA takes second priority because the adult should have access to health care and government assistance. That's often not the case. Health care isn't affordable, and going to a doctor could bankrupt the whole family and cause that family go to homeless. The adult in the USA might be living in a government subsidized apartment that is full of mold that is quickly deteriorating the health of that person, destroying their ability to live their life. What if the apartment this adult is living in creates worse quality of life than the homeless child has? All life should be treated as equal, right? So who should be the priority to help?

This is complicated. And I'm very angry about this topic.

When I'm told that there are people in third world countries with needs greater than mine, I feel invalidated. I feel unheard. I feel uncared for. I feel like I'm being told that you would rather feel sorry for people you will never meet, and likely will never send 1 penny to. If their needs are so important that you invalidate my needs, then why aren't you there helping them? I'm here right now. Help me. Help who you actually have access to and can help.

Most people do nothing, but are quick to try to verbally diminish problems.

So I challenge you:

When you meet someone in the USA with clothes on, a roof over their head, and food in their bellies who tell you that they are struggling with someone serious, take them seriously. Don't automatically dismiss them because someone else in the world is obviously suffering more. The more you dismiss people because you think they're not as bad off as others, the more we tear down a culture of support, love, and community. Life depends on support, love, and community. The more you dismiss people's problems, the more you help create new problems for the community you live in. Stop thinking globally when you can't even help on a global scale. Start thinking locally. How can you help reduce the problems in your own community?

If you're able to use your first world country privilege to travel to another country and help their starving children, then do that. The world needs you to help. But as for the rest of us? Our own local communities have staving children and adults too. We also have people who are not starving and have roofs over their heads, but are in serious need help. Don't criticize problems, just help where you can. Please. Thank you.

Ableism

This post is not directed at anyone personally, it's actually inspired by a different blog I just read. I wanted to share my point of view on the topic. Some might think it's directed at them given how much I've struggled this week, but I promise it's not directed at anyone.

I want to talk about this other "-ism." The one that the media, "tolerant" people, and society in general doesn't talk about very often.

"Ableism"

Ableism is a concept like sexism, but in the case of ableism, it's an idea that disabled people can do what able bodied people can do. It seems obvious: a disabled person is not able to do everything a healthy able bodied person is able to do. It's obvious when you see someone with a broken leg. You would automatically understand that that person cannot run a 10k, because running requires both legs to be working properly. It is not obvious, however, in the case of people disabled by invisible illnesses. Do you assume that a person is fully able bodied just because you don't see obvious signs of disability, such a broken bones?

Ableism is a perspective rooted in misunderstanding, a lack of empathy, and often times just simply naivety. I'm not using the word ignorance here, because being ignorant implies that a person chooses to ignore the facts and wisdom about something. Ableism typically is not rooted in ignorance, because it's typically rooted in people who have never been presented with facts and wisdom to be able to ignore it. Ableism is due to a lack of advocacy and communication.

I normally get annoyed by the "-ism" talk, as I find that it's often over simplified as a means to be negative about someone or something. In the case of "ableism," however, I'm annoyed by the lack of talk about it at all! So I want to discuss my point of view on it.

I am disabled, but it's not obvious. My illnesses are not always invisible, but I don't let you see me when they are visible. When you do see me, it's because I have enough control over my body to act like a normal healthy person. This probably creates an assumption that I am actually healthy enough to do what any other healthy person can do.

You may assume that just because I occasionally drive a car that I can always drive a car. On the contrary, I often choose not to drive my car and will cancel my plans to avoid driving. If I drive when I'm not feeling capable it could be life threatening to myself and others. When I'm fatigued and weak my reaction time is very slow, both physically and mentally. When I'm fighting dizziness or vertigo it would be like drunk driving. When I'm in a pain flare I would be too distracted to focus on the road. The reality is that I don't drive very often, and when I do, I've prepped myself with my supplements, the right meal, and enough sleep first.

You may assume that just because you see me on my feet running around at work or the grocery store that I'm always able to be on my feet running around whenever I want to. Just like with my ability to drive, I have to prepare myself for these occasions with the right supplements and food first. I only work part time because I'm not capable of keeping my body in a state where I can be on my feet running around more than part time. I have to make choices, such as if I go to that outdoor autumn festival today, will I have the ability to work my shift tomorrow?

You may assume that just because I occasionally lift weights for exercise that I could do a graded exercise program to get better at lifting weights over time. Except every time I try to improve at some form of physical fitness my chronic fatigue gets worse. I only do what I feel I'm able to as I'm able to. I try to do enough exercise to burn off the high protein diet I eat, but not so much that it drains my strength for more important things, like going to work. Most importantly, just because one day I do 2 sets of 10 reps on my weight machine one day, does not mean I'll be able to carry that 25 pound box from FedEx up my stairs the next day. My strength ebbs and flows, it's not constant or predictable. My ability or inability to exercise in any given moment also determines how well I function in general.

You may assume that just because you see me in public talking to people like it's no problem, does not mean I'm able to talk on the phone at home any time. I can't tell you how many people have suggested I also work from home at an "easy" job like taking McDonald's orders over the phone. Do you realize how much energy talking takes? Especially in a fast paced job? It's difficult for me to keep up mentally, I start to stutter, sometimes my voice goes out on me, my voice gets rough and growls, I say the wrong words without realizing it, I can't say the words I'm reading because my brain won't translate what my eyes sees to my mouth... talking is like a sport to me! It's exhausting! Again, talking is a skill I reserve for times when I need to.

You may assume that because I'm a human being and I need to eat food to survive, that I should be able to order take out so that I can eat when I'm feeling too weak to cook for myself. Sorry, nope. I have yet to find a single restaurant in all of the city I live in that serves a dish I can safely eat for a price that I can afford. I'm not going to pay $40 for a 6 oz grass fed steak from a place that normally butters their steaks. I seem to be allergic to dairy, and I've learned that telling a server about my allergies doesn't mean my meal will be allergen free. Chefs make mistakes very often, or they simply don't know that an ingredient they always use would contain the food I'm allergic to. I MUST reserve enough energy to prepare my own food - this is a necessity for me. There's no other option. I can't live on convenience anymore, sadly, even though I need convenience more now than ever due to my fatigue.

You may assume that I can stand up as needed, such as during church or during the Pledge of Allegiance. I have a condition called POTS. I think it's fairly mild compared to many other people I've talked to with POTS, but 2 doctors have told me I have it. It means that when I go from sitting to standing that I experience pre-syncope - the feeling that I'm going to faint. My vision gets weak, sometimes black, I get very dizzy, I see random colors spinning around me, I can forget to breathe, my stomach and bladder sink, and I feel like I need to collapse. I'm not prone to fainting, so I often will stand up and deal with feeling all of these symptoms until my body finally adjusts and I stabilize. But what if that time is the one time I do faint and I hit my head on something on the way down? You can't see everything I feel when I stand up, but I experience it almost every time. I do my best when I slowly stand up, then stay on my feet and moving. I can't stay standing in one spot long, I must keep my circulation up.

You may assume that I can manage my periods just like any other woman has to manage them. Except that not many women have endometriosis, POTS, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue like me. There is no cure for endometriosis. There's hardly even ways to manage it. There's no cure for POTS, and no official FDA approved drug to treat it. When you put endometriosis and POTS together, you get this disastrous combination of extreme pain with extreme weakness. PMS can mean exhaustion to the point of being out of breath just trying to get to the bathroom. The period itself can mean I'm so dizzy that everything spins around me while I'm laying in bed with my eyes closed.  Not to mention all the other symptoms. For about 12 years now I've been completely incapable of doing anything other than laying in bed and sitting on the toilet for the first day of my period. Surgery didn't help. At all. Healthy women with a normal period and some "normal" cramping can take a pain killer (if they even need it) and go on with their day like they're just a little extra tired. That sounds like a miracle to me. For years I took 12 ibuprofen on the first day of my period to manage the pain. It wasn't enough, but nothing else I tried worked better.

You may assume that just because my hair is clean that it wasn't a struggle to wash it. 50% of the time I shower I'm sitting on the floor of the shower while I wash. It's because it's exhausting to hold my arms up and stand up at the same time. My heart rate skyrockets and I get out of breath. I always wait to shower until times when I'm feeling strong enough. When I have to shower, but I'm not feeling strong enough, I'll often choose to not wash my hair and go out with dirty hair.


I could go on with many many more examples of how I'm not able-bodied. My disability judge and a few doctors agree. (Yes, I won my disability case after 3.5 years - but more on that some other time.) I'm disabled in many ways. But I look healthy. I do my make up, put decent clothes on, wash my hair, don't wear any casts or medical devices, I avoid engaging with people when I'm struggling cognitively... odds are, I won't give you much reason to assume I'm disabled when you actually do see me in public.

What do I need from you? Why do you need to understand all of this?

I need you to believe me. If I say no, I'm not capable. If I say no, I'm not up to it. If I ask you for help, please help. Don't argue. Just believe me. Don't shame me. Just trust me. 

I'm a highly independent person who likes to do as much as I can for myself. I've always thought that I need to do things myself to make sure they're done how I want them done. When put a knife through my thumb and couldn't use it for a few weeks, I taught myself how to put my bra on without that thumb. When I couldn't use my right hand due to major wrist problems and was in a brace, I bought a mouse I could use with my left hand and taught myself to write with my left hand. I get creative so I can stay independent. I avoid asking for help. So getting to be this sick has been a challenge for me, because I've had to swallow my pride and learn to ask for help. I've had to accept that I can't perform to my personal standards. It's very humiliating to me. So when I ask for help or say no, and you reply with a lecture or a snarky comment, you just add to humiliation I already personally feel about myself. If you need to say no to me, just say no. Don't attack me in the process.

Ableism. The idea that you assume someone is able to do what you are able to do.

Thanks for listening. :)