Derailment... ha!

That derailed. Ha! What happened? Well, I'm now without regular acupuncture treatments and my fatigue and pain is becoming more difficult to manage. My husband took me on a few trips in North Carolina while he was at conferences. I have to do more chores in this house, spending an hour a day washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen. My allergies have been kicking my butt. I'm exhausted. I get about 4 hours of usable energy each day, and I feel like my days have only been 4 hours long because I have too much to do. And I haven't even found a job here yet! 

I've been thinking of ways to refine my plan for advertising products I use to manage my illnesses (and just live a healthy life in general.) I wanted to do a big social media campaign along with this blog, but I think it's overwhelming me. So I'll do one step at a time instead of doing all the work all at once. 

One problem I'm having, which was actually a surprise to me, is that Raynaud's is really affecting me. My fingers and toes are going numb for a little while almost every day. It makes it difficult to use the computer or phone. I feel like hot baths are not hot enough to help, and a heating pad on my hands or feet only helps while it's on them. I think my regular acupuncture and chiropractic therapies in North Dakota were keeping this problem at bay. I'm struggling to do that here in South Carolina, because the nearest acupuncture clinic is 30 minutes away and I'm not always capable of driving that far. Especially not regularly. I found a chiropractor in the tiny town I live in, but she's not traditional. I like the results I get from her, but she doesn't actually do physical manipulations. Her method feels good, but I'm still assessing it. 

Also... can I just say that life is stressful? Wow. I think I need to find some purpose before I collapse under the weight of looking for the point of living like this. I'm not afraid of hard work to live. I would be very happy managing a small farm to support myself and barter as needed. I'd be happy being self-sustaining. I'm afraid of working hard and not benefiting from it. Working a mind-numbing job that I don't agree with for $10/hr, just to pay inflated rent? I wasn't built to mentally survive those types of conditions. I'm built to make the world a better place for a wage that can sustain me. I'm too old to go back to minimum-wage high school level jobs. So I've been considering getting a degree or certification so I can qualify to work at home in a decent job. The problem is that I'm already in too much debt to take out more. I'm also genuinely unsure if I can handle it with my health like this. And I need money now, not later. It's certainly a conundrum...  

Anyway, I want to try this project. Even if I can't make much money, I want to be a source of information for people. Educating gives me purpose. So I'm going to simplify my approach... here we go!

Maine and Acadia National Park (Doctor Visit/ Vacation)

Last week I was halfway across the country again to visit my doctor. At this point I have nothing I want to say about lab results or my examination, so this post won't be about that. I made some enlightening observations and have some stories to share. 

I spent 2 full 8 hour days at his clinic doing therapies, such as hyperbaric oxygen chamber, sauna, IVs, acupuncture, and more. The winning therapy for me this visit was the colonic irrigation. I knew my gut wasn't working well when I arrived. I didn't have a concept of just how stuffed it turned out to be. Before I give you too much information, I'll stop there. 2 colonics from 2 awesome nurses later I noticed major symptom relief. My acne (which was starting to make me look like a teenager) totally cleared up. My vision was less fuzzy again. My hiatial hernia feels like it's gone. The pressure in my upper back and shoulders is gone. I'm not burping or feeling mild heartburn anymore. Best of all? My mood! Despite raging PMS, I felt peace. This tranquility and calm took over, and I felt like I didn't have to force myself to be kind anymore. My last colonic was 9 days ago. Today I started my period (hellish pain), but guess what? The bloat went away. I dropped 5 pounds (overnight, seriously) and for the first time in who knows how long my stomach looks flat. I feel light and thin.

I took this after just getting up from laying in bed from last night until 2 pm in some pretty nasty endometriosis pain (and with a sedating pain killing tincture still flowing through me)... so ignore my tired face. It's not the best angle to see my stomach, and I'm not sure I have a photo so you can compare, but believe me. My stomach isn't bulging like it was during PMS and pre-colonic. I normally can't wear this tank (medium Pact racerback) because my stomach is too bloated for it, but it fits well now!



You might be wondering why I haven't been doing gut cleanses here at home. I actually was. I take DGL regularly, and use aloe vera with slippery elm as needed. I also take vitamin C and magnesium citrate. In fact, the week before I got on the plane, my local acupuncturist had me on an herb blend with a strong laxative effect (and she didn't tell me.) Let's just say it was working and I was in the bathroom often. It just doesn't do the same thing as a colonic. All that water from the other end does wonders.

My other therapies were very helpful too. I love glutathione and vitamin C IVs so much. They wake up a part of me that I forget exists. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel more complete for a while after them. 

This was one of my German footbaths. This is not that silly type of detox footbath that turns colors based on what the water pulls out from your feet (hint: the water in those turns colors even if your feet are not in it!) This is a seaweed blend and it feels amazing on my purple freezing feet. 

Normally my mom travels with me to see my doctor. This time my husband insisted on taking me so he could make a vacation out of it. As much as I love to explore, I was honestly really nervous to vacation. I was unsure that I'd have the strength and energy, and I knew I'd end up holding him back from doing as much as he wanted to. He doesn't like to stay in one place long, he likes to see as much as possible and pack the day full. I used to be the same before I got sick. Now I like the idea of finding a pretty park in a new place and relaxing there for a while.

My doctor is in Portsmouth, New Hampshire (Human Nature Natural Health.) The first evening we got to relax on the deck of our Airbnb (I'll blog about finding Airbnb's that are safe later.) We had the most beautiful sunset to watch. That last evening we went to a Jazz Club downtown - not the sort of thing I'd normally do after 2 full days of therapies that leave me very calm, peaceful, and just wanting rest to soak it in. Also not the type of place my MCS normally allows me to tolerate. I was able to relax in my chair and enjoy it with a locally grown salad full of veggies I could actually eat. It was actually a fairly safe place for me to be that evening, surprisingly!




After 2 days there, we drove up to Portland, Maine for the day. Neither of us really liked Portland all that well. Everywhere we went people were either smoking cigarettes or marijuana. The downtown stone streets smelled like smoke, which was really disappointing. It was upscale swanky shopping for things that really were not that interesting. I found a store that said "organic apparel" on its sign, so I went in. No joke, all they sold were glass blown bongs and female sex toys. (Glass sex toys? Really?) No clothing anywhere. I went into Irish Crystal store - I had to know what Irish crystals were. There were no crystals, just a ton of very dusty old merchandise that I think was supposed to have been imported.

Finding dinner in Portland was maddeningly difficult. There are two Greek places in Portsmouth where I can get lamb kabobs that I do really well with. Portland? There are a crazy number of restaurants. So many of them only serve less than 10 dishes. Most of them are so unique, like culinary art dishes, that I couldn't eat any of them. I couldn't just get a steak because they were all marinated. We settled on a restaurant on a boat and I ordered haddock with asparagus. They did listen to my dietary needs and allergies, they did make it just as I asked for. But I found myself with a mild allergic reaction (tingling lips and a swollen throat.) Probably cross contamination.

The next day we drove up the coast all the way to Surry, ME (just north of Acadia National Park.) It was a full day of driving and stopping at interesting places along the way. I was so drained, so sitting in a car all day just looking at stuff was helpful. We got out at a few interesting places. 

Rockport, ME

A big bridge with an observatory on top of one of the pillars.

We arrived at our Airbnb in Surry that evening and found dinner at place in Ellsworth that worked out well for me. A smaller town, but much more simple menus! Notice how finding food that doesn't hurt me is a theme on this trip? I was able to cook every breakfast at our "homes," thankfully. We went into a couple of Whole Foods and stocked up on easy grass-fed hamburgers and veggies so I could cook breakfast. I also brought my own stainless steel pan. I know that sounds crazy, but I couldn't risk getting stuck with Teflon pans.

Surry, ME Airbnb - this place was great! Highly recommend for sensitive people like myself!

<sub><sup>We spent the last two days in Acadia National Park. Now this is where the trip gets interesting for me in terms of health. Obviously I wasn't going to do as well in cities with lots of people, pollution, and poor food options. I seem to get along with National Parks very very well!

The first day was an overcast costal misty kind of day, where it wasn't actually raining, but the mist got everything wet. I love those kind of days. We spent the first part of the day in Bar Harbor, which was everything I was hoping Portland was going to be and wasn't. The air was fresh, the streets were filled with truly interesting shops that were not filled with fragrance, it had fantastic organic and local food options, and such a pretty view. My husband doesn't like shopping, but he was enjoying the stores and we had fun. There was a hemp textile store (my favorite), a fair trade shop, a bookstore with a huge discount section of awesome books (I can't flip thorough many of them due to the ink, but my husband scored big time), an old fashioned clock making factory shop, gem and mineral stores, and more. I loved that I was able to go into many of these places with little issue. That's so rare for me. There were a few stores that I walked in and walked right out due to incense or fragrance, but overall most of the shops seemed to understand that people don't want to smell anything.

In the afternoon we drove the main loop in Acadia National Park. I loved the overcast mood over the park from the mist. It brought out all sorts of tones and colors in the trees and ocean that were not there when the sun was out that evening and the next day. We had the park mostly to ourselves. It was a Friday before Memorial Day weekend, so it wasn't busy at all. Perfection.</sup></sub> 

My hubby and I after arriving in the park

On top of Cadillac Mountain. I took this while in the middle of a cloud that was blowing across the peak. It was cold, but stunningly beautiful. 

After the cloud blew through I snapped this photo of the view. Breathtaking! 

I climbed over some of the rocky cliffs to take lots of photos like this

Me enjoying climbing close to the edge

The sun came out, so I hiked down these rocky cliffs and fond a cozy spot to lay in the sun. My hubby snapped the photo. He knew this was how I wanted to spend vacation: laying in the sun in a beautiful place!

<sub><sup>The next day we spent the majority of the day in the park. It was a very different day. The sun was out the whole day, it was warm... and the tourists started to show up. By the later afternoon the park was full and it was hard to find places to park at the attractions. Thankfully by that point we had seen most of the park without people in the way. 
I was feeling well enough so I picked out a trail to hike. Yes, I wanted to hike! I wouldn't say I had energy, but I felt strong enough. I felt in control. I felt capable. It took us 2 hours to hike the trail, and there was no warning about the difficulty level. The trail started easy, just walking on a path. Then, a ways into it, turned into slightly advanced trails on rocks and narrow wooden bridges. Then there were some vertical areas. As in, the path was no longer horizontal. We had to rock climb down maybe 20 to 30 feet in a few places. I was so not prepared for that.

But guess what? My heart rate was fine. Stayed in the 90's and low 100's. It was a challenging trail that left me sore, but my body enjoyed it. It wasn't giving me any trouble. The same thing happened in Glacier National Park. When I walk around easy Bismarck trails here at home my HR tends to be in the 120's up to 170's. I go to a National Park and hike advanced trails and my HR is actually lower, my breathing is great, I'm not dizzy, and I feel strong. What's the difference? Well, a lot. It goes to show I'm not out of shape. I could be in much better shape, but I don't have a deconditioning problem. In these parks I get dense fresh clean air. No dryer sheets, car exhaust, cigarette smoke, smelly deodorant on other people, pesticides, mosquito fogging... it's just pure clean fresh air. There's also no cell service, so no EMFs. This makes for a profoundly different environment. 

The problem is that I didn't feel energetic, only capable. I did end up hitting a brick wall near the end of the trail. I reached my limit of what my body could handle. I felt my mood suddenly drop, then my vision started to stagger and shake a bit, then my whole body started to shake, then I couldn't prevent involuntary crying, and then I felt the need to faint. But I didn't. Because my body resists fainting. It really likes to make me suffer through all the pre-fainting feelings until I sit or lay down. My heart hurt so badly. It was banging against my rib cage. I had air hunger. Everything was swaying. I felt like I was walking on a boat, but it was land. I ate some jerky, but it didn't seem to a be a blood sugar issue. Thankfully my hubby helped me get to the car and I was able to recover while he drove. When we got to the car there was an ambulance and firetruck at the trail head... I was worried about whoever they were there for, but also thinking to myself that I was so happy to know they were there if I had needed them. 
So I had a POTS episode. But otherwise I survived a 2 hour hike on a drop-dead gorgeous coastal cliff trail!</sup></sub> 

I choose the Great Head Trail

I wanted to do the tree, but I didn't want my dirty foot on my pants, so I did an awkward incomplete version. Hahaha

I enjoyed climbing all over these cliff edges. That's a long way down!

This was the view of Sand Beach from the peak of the trail, a very rare natural beach on the Maine Coast

I found another great place for a nap on the cliff edge!

I forgot how to pose in photos, so I just did silly things

Yes, this park was therapy. My doctor's clinic was necessary therapy, but so was this park.

Even though I have chronic fatigue and it's difficult for me to do much, spending the energy I do have in places that revitalizes me is really important. I'm recovered just enough that I'm able to travel for medical reasons, and able to do simple things on vacation if I'm driven around. I can't do the driving myself anymore. It's very overstimulating and overwhelming. New places used to be invigorating to me. But as long as I don't over do it and I have the right person taking me on the trip, every once in a while a trip like this really helps. Of course I have to factor in that I had just had 2 days of therapies from my doctor! It was like taking a pill that gave me quality of life and stimulation just long enough to actually go on a vacation. I highly doubt I could manage a trip to a city like New York - I don't have the energy for that. I would collapse. But driving around and walking as I'm able to makes for a healthy vacation.

The next day we flew home, but we started the day in Bangor, ME. Any Stephen King Fans? We had a bit of time to see a few landmarks, but here are 2. The statue from IT and Stephen King's house!



I could tell you a bunch of stories, like homeless people standing at our car door and making it impossible to get out, sitting next to a Canadian ER nurse on the plane, talking to a cancer patient at my doctor's clinic... but I don't have the energy. I wanted to share these highlights instead. 

Flu then Pnumonia then "Recovery"

First my husband came home with the flu and he was absolutley miserable. Then he had a week where he felt well enough, and I developed the flu. Then I started to feel slightly recovered and he developed Pneumonia. I had a week where I felt slightly ok, but had an extra painful endometresosis couple of days. Then a week later I got Pneumonia. X-rays and doctor confirmed Pnumonea. It looked like I had spider webs in my lungs. I was so incredibly sick, unable to lay down to sleep, that I willingly took the antibiotics. It turns out I'm allergic to amoxicillin, so then I had a few days of rashes and hives that left me in tears. I had to take antihistamines and lay in a baking soda bath for hours to feel even slightly comfortable again.

About 2 months of this is way more than I can handle. I'm still coughing up big wads of green from my lungs, and my ears often won't pop. Add to it severe negative windchills (as in we got below -40f several times), followed by a massive snow storm of 10 inches, and now tonight we're due for the next massive snow storm. We're in blizzard warnings right now.

I'm stuck inside of a house that I don't have the strength to clean, and I can't open the windows to air it out.

If I've been very grumpy, distant, selfish, unresponsive, or unsupportive... well I'm not sorry! I have not been well - no, I have not been ok!

My body is weak to begin with, so when put through the flu and Pneumonia back-to-back, you should not expect me to simply recover and get back to my life. My POTS has been strong, my fatigue intense, my sleep is a major chore... but more than anything, talking to people is the worst. I can't break out of my own head, and it's not even a choice - I simply can't listen. I'm trapped in a prison in my own head and everything you say bounces off those prison walls. I can't handle myself, so I cannot take you on.

I've pushed away my friends both online and in person. It got to the point where I almost felt like I resented them, almost hated them. I didn't want to talk, and I didn't want to listen. I hate that I ever felt that way, because I love my friends. But even now I still don't enjoy talking to them because I don't have the energy to engage. I don't even like TV shows because I don't want to listen to the character's problems. I can't take anything else on. I just need to recover myself.

I might need another few days. I might need a few more months. 

Getting sick on top of a chronic illness is very challenging. Pneumonia is no joke. People often get hospitalized from it. People die from it. I wish I was hospitalized. I really wish I had a machine attached to me to help me breathe, a port for regular IVs to keep me stable, a vacuum to go into my lungs and suck it out... at the very least, having trained medical professionals there to help at a moment's notice. That would seriously have been very helpful. But no. I suffered through it from bed without much help since my husband was so busy. I very inefficiently coughed way too much, slept way too little, sweated too much (I was up to 103f fever and the fever lasted just over a week), and ate poorly. Why? Because I was afraid of the cost of seeing a doctor, I didn't want to go on their drugs, I didn't have the energy to explain all my medical issues to them (that they still won't understand because they've never been trained on my issues), and I honestly felt like I didn't care of I died.

And now the most help I've had for my recovery has been acupuncture, but due to the weather I've only been able to go once. Acupuncture helped get more out of my lungs than anything else has, and gave me the strength I needed to rest properly. I'm going back for another appointment in a few hours - hopefully before the blizzard begins!

All I'm trying to say in this blog is that it's critically necessary to be patient with people who are sick on top of having chronic illnesses.

Thank you. 

Blood Deficiency (Chinese Medicine)

In Traditional Chinese Medicine there is a concept called "blood deficiency." It doesn't necessarily mean that a person is lacking actual physical blood. If you would like to learn what it is, I suggest this article. In western medicine it often presents as anemia or chronic fatigue, but other wise healthy people can experience it.

I regularly fight blood deficiency. It causes me to fall away into the core of who I am, living there, unable to really connect with the world around me. I become distant, irritable, very guarded, and often incoherent. My thoughts and emotions feel highly intense and heightened due to living in them, but I have no energy to express them. There's no strength with which to pour that emotional experience into art, conversation, or work. So I appear outwardly cold, uncaring, dazed and confused, and perhaps even unloving. The truth is that I love hard and fierce, but if you want me to show it you'll just have to watch for the finer details in how I do spend my energy. If you give me time to be alone, let me recharge, and be very selfishly focused on my own needs then you'll see me come out of my cocoon and wanting to invest in you again. Until I'm once again drained. When people take a little from me every day, I never recharge, and you won't see me turn into that butterfly that is who I really am when I have full strength.

So you must understand that I have to pick and choose who I give my energy to very very carefully. For years I tried to maintain this blog, be active in Facebook support groups, be an attentive wife and friend, and give my best efforts to my job. It wasn't working for me. People kept taking more from me than I had to give. I now have accepted that my body has decided to control who I can give any energy to. Don't misunderstand. If I were well, I would treat every person in my life as equally important. I'm not well.

I have two versions of being trapped in this state. One version is that I can't tolerate outside stimulation. I don't want TV, music, people, or other distractions. I just want to be in silence. In this version I tend to be calm and submissive in my dreams, where I live. I can't step into reality, my dreams are always in my vision. I just let my natural desires and instincts play out in these dreams, and normally I find I'm just giving up and giving in to anything.

The other version is the one I'm in now. I crave music that reflects my emotional state, to the point of playing the same few songs over and over and over. I want to be fed what I want to feel, not made to produce those feelings on my own. I want my food to comfort and warm me. I'll drink hot herbal tea constantly. I want to have deep basal desires met, maybe physical touch, emotional, spiritual... like I'm hurting for not having my cravings filled. I want a very deep conversation with a person online to connect my soul with someone else I fully trust (no small talk or work talk or I will scream), but not in person. It's easier to type than to speak, and I'm not burdened with the need to show facial expression or body language online. Thankfully I have made a couple of online friends who are the same wavelength as me most of the time. I don't need a selfish conversation - often I just want to ask question and listen to them, but this sort of connection is like food to me. I selfishly need it as fuel so I don't go crazy. 

Either way, you may see the trend that I just can't fully exist in reality. It wouldn't matter how good my life is, I wouldn't be able to engage with it. No matter how many times I say this, people don't know how to respond. Some people think they can just force reality on me. Others just act like I didn't ask them to leave me alone. Some try to help me - and I do not want it. Help means work, which drains and only makes me worse. It means I have to respond with gratitude, and that response can drain me. Think of me like a cocoon. I'll come out and engage with you when I'm ready. 

No matter the version I feel, my physical symptoms are often the same. Poor digestion, bloating, blurred strained vision, light sensitivity, worsened POTS, low blood pressure, painfully freezing purple toes, joint stiffness and aches, aching heart from being over worked, muscle tension and pain, swollen tongue and tight throat, feeling 100 pounds heavier than I am, pale lackluster skin with huge bags under my eyes... and this time, I've been bleeding very heavy for a week during the middle of my cycle. All that bleeding prevents me from healing and improving.

The acupuncture bed is my favorite place to be each week. Acupuncture is a fine art, the practitioner and skill level really does matter. I start with having cupping done, and the warmth it brings to my back is one of the best feelings in the world. It helps my muscle tension, but it also helps me take a deep satisfying breath. I often cough from the raw feeling of breathing air into the bottom of my lungs after cupping. Then come the needles. Sometimes my body fights the effect and my heart rate sky rockets - my qi moves quickly and can feel like anxiety flowing through me for a while until I finally deeply relax. Other times the needles kill all the anxiety in me, allowing me to fall deep into soul and stop feeling my body at all. I have the best imagination and dreams in this state. 30 minutes of deep pure relaxation and comfort that can't be replicated by any drug. I've had out-of-body experiences, and that feeling is more therapeutic than anything else in the world.

It's hard for me to write this. The person I am when I'm well and healthy would be embarrassed by this. I'm careful about how I present myself so that I can get along with everyone. I like to know who people are, and I like to show how much I care. When I'm healthy I guard any dark, anti-social, depressed feelings I have from others so I can just show them love and care. I'm a highly empathic person, but I've turned that empathy on myself and away from others. I'm studying myself like I'm another person desperately trying to connect with this person I see in me.

The best thing you can do is let me guard my energy. Don't take it personally. Taking it personally will tug at my empathetic nature and drain me. It's not about you. It's about me being hardly alive. I'm a flicker of myself. Don't put that light out. 

Norovirus is No Joke

Here's the short version:

I got Norovirus and it lasted for 5 days. It ranked in the top 3 worst pain experiences of my life. I'm too drained to recover easily. My stomach and gut are not back to normal and are very picky about what food and in what amount and when I eat it. I'm emotionally dead and deeply depressed. I finally had my appointment with my new local primary care doctor since I need an MD on my record, and she's sending me to a gynecologist and a cardiologist.

...I feel like this is just leading to a repeat of 2013 all over again. Lots of money getting thrown at doctors who likely will just tell me I'm normal and it's all in my head. I wonder why I bother, then I remember my disability case, and I remember that I'm supposed to be hounding lawyers until someone takes my case. Yeah, well, give me some magic pill to return me to good health if you want me to try harder to get a lawyer. If I want to ever get government assistance then I need MDs, not NDs, to diagnose me. But it's the ND that actually helps me.

Am I being too honest if I say I either want to be able to live without all these health problems or just die? Does that make you uncomfortable? Sorry, my filters are full and can't filter anything else. It's all I can think about. I can't enjoy the things that normally make me happy. I'm pushing my friends away because I don't have any energy at all for them. I'm just blank. I'm emotionally dead. My body feels like an empty shell. There's no energy or life in me. Norovirus took what I had left. 2 days of vomiting, diarrhea, and horrid skin aching and tenderness. 2 more days of just diarrhea and skin pain, Another day of just diarrhea. Any fuel or qi or life energy that I had left is gone. I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to take part in anything in life. Any appointment, commitment, phone call, email... it's too demanding. Wants too much of me. I can feel a pool of anger and resentment somewhere in me, and if that's the only emotion my body will give me then I really need to stay away from people.

I'm going to a gynecologist because I can't stop bleeding in heavy amounts. It's been 2 months of bleeding almost every day. I tried some herbs from my acupuncturist to stop the bleeding. One of them did reduce the bleeding without side effects. The other seemed to stop the bleeding for a few days, but gave me such low blood pressure that I spent the whole day trying to keep my head upside down to manage the headache and painful blurry vision. I know I'm very blood deficient. She gave me herbs to boil and drink to improve my blood, but I haven't yet because of Easter taking over and then getting Norovirus. But seriously, puking my stomach and flushing my guts out when I'm already blood deficient? Why does my body choose to live through these things? Why does it hold on to life? And why don't doctors see that I'm suffering so severely that I'm not able to actually live any sort of life? It's mind blowing. My ND sees it. My acupuncturist sees it. My chiropractor doesn't question it. The neurologist I saw seemed to believe me, but he's so far away and I think he did what he can do within his specialty.

Trying to eat is a major problem. My stomach and gut are so sensitive that I have to figure out exactly the right thing to feed them, and then when I do I can only manage a couple of bites before I get pain and feeling overly full. Yesterday eating a baked sweet potato with just olive oil and salt worked. Today sweet potato is cramping my stomach. Chicken broth the super soft canned chicken is working consistently, but only until my stomach can't take more liquid. It's being just as picky about water. I feel dehydrated, but water feels like a bowling ball in my stomach. Last night I wasn't able to eat for 5 hours before it was bedtime. I knew I'd get pain from hunger if I didn't eat, so I tried to eat some very soft non-greasy sausage. I managed about 3 bites before I got major pain in my stomach. My gut was so inflamed it was giving me a horrid headache. I had to just go to sleep and sleep it off. Enzymes are helping to a certain point. I know that if I could turn my digestive system back on that I might actually be able to get some energy again... I feel like I'm gaining a tiny bit back everyday, but it's not enough. I wouldn't be able to type this right now if not for the green tea I've been sipping on all morning and the tiny bit of energy I'm getting back each day.

I'm going to attempt to go to work today for 3 hours. I'm lucky that I was only scheduled for a 3 hour shift today before I knew this was going to happen. I've missed 3 or 4 shifts already, so I need to try.

How I Respond to MCS: Before, During, and After.

I have learned that I need to use my sauna and neti pot after ever shift at work. If I do not, I have agitated sleep full of angry and annoying dreams and I wake up feeling exhausted. I have a headache and some pain while at work, but the real reaction tends to be delayed (like many reactions for me) and hits me hours later. Yesterday I did go for a hike through the trees along the river, a little ways outside of town and away from any car exhaust. I was hoping the fresh crisp air would help as much as the sauna, but it didn't. It just left me feeling very exhausted. I'm still very fatigued this morning.

I attended my university's Jazz Band, Vocal Jazz, and Steel Drum Band concert a few days ago because I was craving to do something "normal" with my husband and this sounded like fun. When my husband and I were students, he was in both Jazz Band and Steel Drum band, so it was nice to go to reminisce. It was located at the main concert call downtown, where the local symphony performs. I knew that many ladies wear heavy perfume at those concerts, as they're dressy affairs, and I know that cloth seating tends to absorb perfume. This was not a dressy event, mostly college students in the audience, so I thought there was a chance I could get away with going. Unfortunately, I had heart palpitations the entire time. I could feel something inside my ear twitching every so often too. I wore my ionizer necklace during the concert. It helped some, and I know this because I had to shut it off for the last 15 because the battery was running low, causing it to hum loudly. I developed a headache and some eye pain after I shut it off. Because we got home late, I did not use my sauna. I just took an extra glutathione and NAC, which helped a little. I had agitated sleep that night too. Was it worth going? I'm undecided. It was honestly so nice to feel "normal" and get out of the house with my husband that I think this feeling overshadowed the MCS reactions.

MCS is so frustrating. It hinders my ability to be me - I can't go places I want, I can't do things I want, and I can't spend time with people I can't trust to be safe. My reactions are not as severe as many people with MCS. I survived the concert hall with lots of discomfort, whereas others would be sent to the ER by it. It doesn't mean I'm not hurting, and I don't want to go to places or do things that cause pain.



This is what I've learned to do before, during, and after exposures in order to recover the fastest:

1. Take glutathione and NAC throughout the day every day. I take 1 of each with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I take my Naturopathic doctor's brand, but there are other brands on the market. I can't speak to the quality of these brands, sorry.

2. Take extra glutathione and NAC right before going somewhere risky, like church.

3. Wearing a mask (I use Vog Mask) helps some, but some things that cause reactions still bother my eyes, ears, and skin. They stick to my clothes, hair, and skin. It's best to just avoid. There's no armor that works. But if I need to go somewhere risky, such as on an airplane, wearing a mask does help some. (See my review of my Vog Mask here.)

4. Eat protein and fat every 2 hours. I get hypoglycemic, and I've noticed that keeping my blood sugar as stable as possible helps me avoid feeling faint and overly dizzy during a reaction. I used to get the feeling of very low blood sugar, blood pressure, and faintness fairly often, definitely made a lot worse by reactions, but I haven't experienced this much in the last year.

5. I wash my clothes very often. If I go to a risky place, like church or work, I put the clothes I wore in that place in the laundry as soon as possible. Toxins tend to stick to clothes and I don't want to keep wearing what I was reacting to. (I don't know that I have to say this, but make sure you're using natural plant-based detergent that doesn't cause more clothing toxicity. I really like Biokleen's Free & Clear line, both the powder and liquid.)

6. Getting directly in the shower helps, but I recover much faster and tend to suffer less bad reactions when I use my far infrared sauna often. The more often I use it, the more I can tolerate toxin exposure. I've learned to get in the sauna after each shift at work. I sit in it and sweat for 30-40 minutes, pushing out toxins in my skin and increasing my circulation so my body can clean it self out better, then get right into the shower. I bought a $200 portable sauna on Amazon about 2 years ago. It's made in China, and some people with MCS are likely to react to it. A real, full-sized, wooden sauna is always better (they work better too,) but I have no idea which one on the market is best, safe, most effective, etc - the one I linked to is just an example. But I have no problems with it at this point (when I first bought it I probably reacting constantly and didn't understand that MCS was the problem, so I don't remember how it made me feel when it was new - it was when I first started seeing my doctor who's done so much good for me.)

7. Sometimes I opt to take a hot bath instead. I can add salt, clay, ginger, and other good stuff to detox when I take a hot bath (see previous post for more details on my favorite detox baths.) I make sure the water is as hot as I can stand it so that I sweat a lot. I then take a full shower after my bath.

8. Neti Pot. Seriously: Neti Pot. (The ceramic kind - NOT plastic!) I know many of you that I've talked to are afraid of them. Normally I would accept this and help you find a different solution, but in this case, I'm going to keep pushing it. Use a Neit Pot! They do not hurt, you can breath while using it, and it's a very low cost solution for something that helps so incredibly much! I always use reverse osmosis filtered water that's been slightly warmed on the stove. Do not use tap water - you do not want to pour all sorts of contaminates through your nose, such as live bacteria or organisms that didn't get cleaned out at the water processing plant. Pushing the water through my nasal passages simply helps clean out a lot of crap that I've breathed in. Furthermore, the salt that I add to the water stays in the nasal passages for about 30 minutes afterwords. It soaks up mucus and clumps it up so that I can spit or blow it out. Mucus is what traps toxins, so getting rid of the mucus is very important to detoxing. Yes, the water only flows through the nasal passages, but the salt absorbs mucus from all of the sinuses, even my ears. My Neti Pot is a staple for me!

9. Rest. If I don't give my body rest so that it can recover, repair, and recuperate, my body doesn't let me push forward. I can't simply go back to work the next day. Reactions take a lot of energy, energy that I'm short on anyway (chronic fatigue!) I MUST let my body rest for as long as it takes if I plan to keep moving forward in life. Sometimes I only need half a day. Sometimes I need a few days of doing nothing. I have to listen to my body and do as it says.

10. I have to keep my home as safe as possible at all times. I never bring anything into my living space that's risky for me. I don't invite people over. I use my own cloth shopping bags and wash them regularly so that I'm not bringing home the store's bags that are infused with the smell of the store. I vacuum, sweep, mop, and clean regularly. I run an air purifier regularly. I dust regularly. This is not to say my house looks organized: it's not. I don't spend energy picking up after myself, it's poorly decorated, and sometimes looks like I just don't care. I just focus on keeping the home environment safe enough. I only have so much energy to spend.

11. I do have many houseplants. Mold and fungus has been an occasional problem with them, but I stay proactive with my plants. I keep a close watch for the mold and fungus and clean it out the moment I spot any. Otherwise, they're great. Certain houseplants clean the air. Check out this article for more details.

12. I practice a lot of escapism. Instead of giving in to the feelings of anger, agitation, pain, discomfort, anxiety, depression, and other unpleasantness I experience during reactions and periods of poor health, I try to do something that allows me to mentally escape. I do something really risky: I bring my phone into the bath with me so I can read or watch videos while bathing. I watch Netflix while I use the sauna. The reason for this is that if I don't have a distraction, my thoughts get really anxious and dark, and I feel a lot worse and more fatigued. Negative thoughts take a lot of energy, and often times I don't have enough power over the negative mental feeling. So I distract myself with something until the reaction calms down. I spend a lot of time playing video games, reading easy books and graphic novels, and watching my favorite series. These things occupy my mind, which is a huge blessing.

Note about 12: Lots of people have argued that I should be practicing mindfulness, guided meditation, or prayer instead of using distractions. I'm sorry. These things simply do not work for me. At all. I don't have the energy to control my thoughts - these things take a lot more work and stamina than I have to give. If these things work for you, yes, you're probably going to recover faster employing them. They allow for a deeper rest and a better calm. They train us to have better control over our mental and spiritual states. These things are important! But I'm sorry, they're not enough to combat my anxiety and reaction agitation. I tried praying the rosary while in the sauna during a really nasty reaction once. I was shaking with anxiety and desperate to calm down. The rosary should be very calming, reflective, and meditative - it simply called attention to all my problems that I wanted to share with God. It caused me to think about how hard life is, how much suffering we go through, and how I just wanted to be dead to end the suffering. Prayer is a very powerful thing. I strongly believe in God and I strongly believe in the importance of prayer. But I've learned that my prayer isn't effective during my deep anxiety times - it makes me feel worse. I pray when I'm feeling strong so that I can actually calm my mind enough to listen to God. It's a big reason why I'm struggling so much with church - church causes me to react, and I can't focus or be worshipful when I'm reacting.

13: I take care of my health to the best of my ability. I'm taking a ton of supplements , eating a very strict diet, exercising the best I can, practicing avoidance to the best of my ability, avoiding as much stress as possible, etc. I'm doing what I can to heal my chronic illnesses, weak organs, etc. My issues are my own. You need to learn your body and address your body's needs. The stronger our body's health, the better it can tolerate environmental toxins... or at least recover from reactions.

14. I try to spend plenty of time in nature, in the trees or by the sea, away from car exhaust, cigarette smoke, toxic people, city pollution... you get the idea. Nature is the ultimate air purifier. It's the ultimate stress reliever. It also helps me adjust to the changing seasons better. The more time I spend outside, the less traumatic seasonal changes are for me (despite that winter is horrible anyway.)

(Isn't it just calming thinking about being in nature?)

15. Therapies help. I can't say enough about how much chiropractic, acupuncture, and massage helps me. All of these help the body work optimally, all of which will relieve body tension, stress, and toxin build up.

16. I do use a Himalayan Salt Lamp. This is one of my favorite items to sell at the store I work at. It is not enough on its own to help with a reaction, but it does serve an important role for me. The salt releases negative ions into the air to counter the positive ions. Positive ions are harsh on our bodies: electricity/ lightning, environmental toxins, etc. The negative ions clear the air so our bodies don't have to fight the environment as much. They are very calming. My favorite time to use it is right before bed. I read to the light of it. I feel less agitated around it, which is really important in the process of falling asleep.

The ionizer necklace I use works very similarly: it puts out negative ions near my body to help me breathe a little better. It does help some.

(Note: There's a lot of New Age spirituality tied to them, and this has turned some of my customers off from buying one. I've never used it to call spirits, work magic, fortune telling, etc - I don't believe in this stuff, and the lamp has never drawn me in to any type of witch craft. Keep in mind that you can tie spirituality into any object, such as gemstones and minerals. I don't believe in the spiritual properties of gemstones, but they're really pretty and I wear them. Salt is a natural product of the earth, it was around long before humans even existed.)



I encourage you to share with me what helps you! Leave comments on this blog so others can read them too.

Checking In. A few thoughts while I'm away.

I'm finding myself away from my computer for an extended period of time. This post is very short because I'm typing it on my phone.


I'd like to share a couple of thoughts. I decided to get them out tonight instead of let them swim in my imagination while I try to settle down to sleep. I tend to develop anxiety when my thoughts get trapped.


1. I have a theory that chlorine in tap water causes eczema and acne. Ever since I installed the chlorine filters at home my skin has been soft, free from eczema, and free from excessive acne. I'm in a place now without chlorine filters, and my skin has been very very broken out. It's also been very dry and itchy. I can smell the chlorine with every shower and it's most unpleasant. My skin habits have been the same as at home, only this time coconut oil and avocado oil aren't enough.


2. My doctor told me to get a latex pillow, so I did. For those of you who like memory foam, but don't want the toxic chemical soup under your head all night, I highly recommend it. It smells like rubber. I won't deny that it's stinky. But it's natural with great support. I will be exploring latex mattresses soon.


3. I'm coming to understand how MCS is really such an important underlying cause of my health problems. It isn't just another issue, it's a root issue. I'll expand on this in a new post later, but I feel way way better in my doctor's clinic, which is deliberately low VOC with great filtration. Today I felt like me again for a while - a very exhausted me, but me, because I finally experienced my body being calm. I'm so used to being trapped and limited by my body feeling constantly on edge. That edginess went away for a while today because I wasn't reacting to anything and acupuncture was very very calming. I'm coming to understand how I'm usually in a constant low level reaction. Couldn't be happier to see my doctor!


4. I'm not my body. The person I am is not my body. My body heavily controls who I am because my gut and brain make up why I act the way I do, yes. But who I am is not my body, it's my soul. My soul has been so hindered by my body, but it isn't sick like my body is. I am not a sick person. I'm a healthy person limited by a sick body. I accept this, for now, at least. I am worth being a member of this society. I have value. Just because my body suffers doesn't mean I'm not able to participate in life. I am very much wanting to be a part of this world. I hope you can see me for the person I am and not for my weak body. I may be sick, but I am so so so much more. I'm a person.


5. I miss my hubby. This isn't health related, but I just wanted to say it. I'm not used to being away from him so long!


6. I just battled a nasty flu-like virus. I'm sure I got it from flying, even wearing a mask. I'll review the mask later. Getting sick when I was already feeling weak was scary. I haven't been that hypoglycemic in a while. I wasn't so sure I was going to survive that one. I highly recommend being careful and keeping your immune system strong. There's a lot of viruses going around right now.

Low Blood Pressure, Muscle Tension, and my Reliance on Acupunture

It's been a while since I've posted. This past month has been very rough for me. I actually started two posts, but abandoned them because I realized I just didn't have the energy or focus.

My digestion started failing me about a month ago. It started with bloating, gut aches, and slow digestion. Then I was starting to get aches around my pancreas and liver (upper stomach,) and I even had rashes across my upper stomach. I had occasional mild heart burn too. My energy plummeted, my mood dropped, I wasn't able to exert myself as much, and I had lots of pain in my shins and shoulders. I was struggling to eat anything at all, and there were a few days where I ate only a couple light meals. Because I was undernourished, my blood pressure and blood sugar dropped. I was fighting vision loss, extra fatigue, more widespread pain, headaches, nasty eye pain, and circulation issues. I found myself drinking extra protein shakes during the day because they were the only thing that didn't upset my stomach and would offer me some nourishment.

Due to all this struggling, I am going to spend a few days with my doctor in the next couple of weeks. I've needed help in the mean time, though, so I've been going to acupuncture often. He's even started a new type of treatment with me: cupping. I'll get into what that is later on. What started to scare me was the realization that I was relying on acupuncture to keep me stable. I was on a roller coaster, where I would feel pretty good for a few hours, then would drop and feel horrible for the rest of the day, then the next day I would have more energy than I could handle, but then drop and hardly be able to move. This roller coaster lasted most of the month, but in the last week it's finally finally evened out. Acupuncture was doing a great job to balance me, but within a day or so I would start to break down again. My acupuncturist then had me come in 3 time a week last week (as opposed to once per week like before,) and tried needling new points for digestion, and I've been back to a more "normal for me" state. I'm back to eating every 2-3 hours again and I've felt my blood pressure rise.

There's a couple topics I want to get into individually.



Low Blood Pressure

Low blood pressure is an actual problem that actually exists, despite what doctors tell you. "The lower the better!" is a lie. Back in 2013 when I first started to really break down, my blood pressure was usually around 80/50. I was told by multiple nurses that this was a great number and they were impressed. Then I saw my naturopathic doctor who was very concerned about it. He said that low blood pressure can be dangerous because it means blood has a harder time getting to the brain. Even one second of blood not getting to the brain can cause permanent damage. He used the analogy of a hose. If water is running through the hose, it will always pour out the end if the hose is on its side. If the hose is lifted up, the water will only continual to flow out if the water pressure is high enough. If the water pressure is too low, it may stop flowing out the top for a few seconds. If that happens to our bodies, where we stand up and can't get enough blood to our brain temporarily, it is very dangerous.

With my doctors help, my blood pressure rose to an average of 110/67. This felt so much better, and I was getting used to the feeling of good, healthy blood pressure. The week before last it had dropped substantially again, and it's a very alarming feeling! First I noticed lots of fatigue, but fatigue can be caused by many issues. Then I developed lots of eye pain, mainly on the top of my eyes. My vision was blurring and fading as well. Muscle tension in my neck and shoulders can cause this problem for me too. I was fighting eczema and rashes on the rest of my body, but MCS or allergies can cause that. Then I started noticing circulation problems. My legs and arms were cold and falling asleep easily, and my face looked completely flushed. Then the loopiness settled in. I felt like I was spinning, my brain was shutting down, and I could hardly stand. Laying down and putting my feet up felt better for a while, but laying down too long actually made me feel like my blood pressure was dropping even more. I couldn't find a balance.

I was actually surprised that this problem occurred, because I've discovered that enough minerals in my diet keeps my blood pressure stable. I add a mineral powder to all the water and tea I drink, I soak in mineral baths regularly, and my diet is full of unrefined Himalayan salt (which has about 80 minerals.) My digestion was very poor, though, so perhaps I wasn't absorbing enough? Maybe I was otherwise too weak to keep my blood pressure high enough? I'm really not sure why my blood pressure dropped.

What I did to fix the situation was eat extra unrefined Himalayan salt, take extra mineral baths (I use Redmond Bath Salt Plus in water as hot as I can tolerate it,) use my Far Infrared Sauna a few extra times, and get acupuncture. I wasn't strong enough to exercise, so I used heat to get my heart rate up and encourage circulation. The spell lasted only about 4 days because acupuncture was so helpful.

During this time, I was told I had some blood deficiency, qi stagnation, my liver had a yang (I think he said yang, lol) deficiency. Rather than explain this myself, you should read up in it yourself. I'm not a Traditional Chinese Medicine expert by any means, but I'm getting better and more direct answers to my problems from it. It provides answers where western medicine cannot. http://www.sacredlotus.com/go/diagnosis-chinese-medicine/get/differentiation-syndromes-qi-blood-fluids-tcm



Unending Muscle Tension - Cupping
My shoulder and neck tension has been horrendous. It's been causing jaw and eye pain as well as sleeplessness. I have been massaging daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I've been using a Theracane to give myself deeper trigger point massages. I've been laying on my acupressure mat daily. I've been soaking in salt baths and using my sauana. I stretch multiple times a per day (and part of the problem with this is that I'm very flexible, so sometimes I struggle to get a good stretch.) The best I've been bale to do is loosen the tension for a few hours at a time.

My acupuncturist also works on my muscles. He not only needles the points, but uses a massage technique called Tui Na on the muscles while I stretch them. It has been very very helpful... for a few hours to a day at a time. My chiropractor does relieve some pain from the area between the adjustment and a bit of trigger point work.

From what I understand, qi deficiency and blood deficiency can cause muscle tension. If this is the case, it's no wonder I can't resolve this muscle tension issue - because my blood and qi issues seem never ending! Acupuncture should have resolved these issues a year ago, and yet I keep going in week and after week for more because it's the only thing that actually helps, even though the issues don't want to resolve. Clearly, there's more going on in my body, and I'm hoping to get that figured out.

So my acupuncturist tried something new: cupping. Several cultures use this healing technique, but it's known for being part of Chinese Medicine. A practitioner rubs oil on the area of the body to be cupped, creates a vacuum in a glass jar with fire, then quickly sticks the glass jar to the body. It forms a suction that lifts the skin into the jar. The jar can either be slid around on the body, or multiple jars can be used all over.  Here is a video for reference:


I had the sliding technique done instead all over my back and shoulders, and I've had 3 sessions of it. This helped more than anything else has helped so far. It has not completely reduced my tension, and my tension does keep coming back. However, it gives me instant relief and the relief does last longer than any other method.

Yes, it leaves some discoloration. What's been very interesting for me has been looking at my back after a session. There is no sign of cupping over most of my back, but the areas where my muscles have hurt the most are a very deep purple with tiny lumps. It isn't bruised - there's no pain on the skin. It's supposed to indicate blood stagnation. The suction pulls stagnate red blood cells to the surface of the skin and helps the blood move again. It also breaks up scar tissue and cellulite for the same reason. It feels just like a reverse massage. Instead of pressure pushing down on the muscles, pressure is pulling the muscles up, and it feels amazing. It's a very intense, strong feeling, so if you have a low pain tolerance you may not agree that it feels great.



Acupuncture Documentary

I watched a BBC documentary the other day called The Science of Acupuncture. If you're skeptical about it or on the fence about trying it, I recommend you watch it. I was not impressed with the first half of the documentary because it was disjointed, repetitive, and acted like it was about to deeply explore an interesting topic, but then moved on. If you've totally unfamiliar with acupuncture, it is a decent introduction to it. The second half of the documentary is what really impressed me. The host explored all the scientific studies already done on acupuncture, but then worked with a team of experts as they created a new study which turned out to be the largest and most helpful study to date. The study had people in two categories: the first got fake acupuncture and the second got real acupuncture, both groups were monitored under an MRI machine during the process. Each participant had no idea if they were getting real or fake acupuncture, as no one in the study had ever had acupuncture before. The results were favorable for acupuncture, showing it as a profound effect on the brain. If you would like to watch it, it is free on Youtube:

The Science of Acupunture

Product Review: Acupressure Mat

This is my acupressure mat. I have used it about 3-4 times a week for just under a year, sometimes more often if needed. I bought it on Amazon.com. (Only I got mine on sale for $17.) There are so many different brands out there, most of them appear to be pretty much the same. I highly recommend getting one with the neck pillow, but you can use the regular mat on your neck too.

What is it and what does it do? It's a foam mat (the foam is removable) with little "flower" spikes all over it:

You lay the mat on the floor (or your bed if it's an even surface) and then you lay down on it without any clothing in the way. It does not work well unless your skin is naked against the needles.

Let me make something very clear: I have never once been punctured or bled from the use of my acupressure mat.

You then continue to lay down on it for at least 10 minutes, but up to 45 minutes. The more you need the benefits from the mat, the more the first 1-2 minutes of laying on it will hurt. It might be so intense that you can hardly take the pain, but that pain does go away quickly. The more often you use it, or the better your health in general, the less painful it will be in those first couple of minutes. I usually only have mild pain from it, but when I'm feeling weak or sick, it is more painful. You will then start to feel light throbbing and heat for about a minute. Then you'll start to feel wonderful. I can easily get so relaxed on this mat that I fall into a very deep sleep on it. It's the most relieving feeling I can create for myself at home. When you are done, you slowly lift yourself off the mat. Let your skin breathe for a minute or two before you clothe yourself. You will notice your skin looks very prickly and bright red:

(I normally would not be inclined to post a photo of my stomach on the internet - I'm a modest person, but I wasn't able to get a photo of my back to show you. This was after about 5 minutes after I got up off the mat, so the redness and indentations have lessened a bit by this photo. I feel that it's important that you understand how the mat works in order to over come fear of it, and therefore I want to show you that it does not pierce even soft delicate skin.)

Let me explain what the mat actually does for you:

It does not replace acupuncture. Please see an acupuncturist if you need help with a medical issue that can be helped by acupuncture. This mat is the equivalent of rolling a tennis ball on your aching muscles as whereas acupuncture would be like going to a massage therapist for those muscles. Both are very helpful, but the mat is helpful to a lesser degree.

It does, however, replace the need for finding acupressure points on your body. Acupressure is used to either relieve pain or relieve a health symptom. My most common use for this mat is to relieve muscle tension in my back, neck, and shoulders. It really does help a lot! I get best results when I follow up with stretching. My second most common use for the mat is to help improve my digestion. I lay on my stomach (like in the above photo.) My digestion has been very bad this week, so laying on my stomach today was almost more than I could handle, but I stuck with it and after a few minutes I felt my stomach really relax. After about 10 minutes I felt things moving in my organs, which was badly needed. I actually felt hungry afterwords - meaning it worked! I've et way too little today because I haven't felt hunger due to liver and spleen issues.

Sometimes I will actually stand on the mat. Yes, barefoot. You may think me crazy, but like I've already made very clear, the points will not puncture the skin. Not even the skin of my feet. We have hundreds of pressure points on the bottom of our feet that are tied directly to all sorts of bodily systems and organs. Check this website out for a detailed map of the reflexology of our feet. No, it doesn't feel good to stand on the mat, but it does relax my whole body very quickly. It's an amazing way to let go of stress and calm the body down.

You can also lay on your side, sit on it, or use it on your hips and thighs. It can help relieve most areas of the body.

For the price of the mat, I highly recommend it for everyone! It's not just for those with medical issues or who are in pain. It promotes relaxation, stress relief, pain relief, better sleep, better digestion, and a better mood. Everyone can benefit from it.

Set back

It all started with that sinus infection, which I could have prevented. If I didn't go into 4 stores that cause me to react mildly in a row, or if at the very least I had worn a mask, I probably wouldn't have had that sinus infection. We all have to learn somehow, right? Chemical sensitives are no joke!

Recovering from the infection went fairly quickly. It lasted 9 days, and sinus infections usually last up to 3 weeks in the average person. I'm proud of my body for doing so well with it. Recovering from the stress that the infection put on my whole body, however, is what this post is about.

I've noticed my digestion has been poor for a few weeks, but the worst of it hit like a brick wall last Saturday, 6 days ago. I went to bed that night, but hardly slept at all. I was plagued with horrible anxiety that kept me tossing and turning - every time I closed my eyes some stress or horror dream would begin and would wake me back up. Nothing psychological triggered it. The next day I noticed that my food wasn't going through me very easily. I normally eat lightly every 2 hours in order to keep my blood sugar stable, but I wasn't able to. 6 hours went by and I still didn't feel hungry in my stomach, though I was getting dizzy and fatigued (which indicates hunger.) I ate a little bit anyway, and while it took the edge of off the dizziness and fatigue, all it manged to do for my stomach and gut was bloat it. This problem stayed this strong for 3 days.

I went to my Chiropractor on Tuesday afternoon for an adjustment. I slept better that night than I had since this problem started. My anxiety had calmed down quite a bit and I had an easier time relaxing, but I still woke up a few times during the night and I was still struggling to eat enough. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like a slightly rested zombie. I was able to eat a little more often, which I was very thankful for.

I went to my acupuncturist on Wednesday afternoon. He normally is not one to say how "good" or "bad" of shape I'm in, though will comment on any concerns he has, but this time he very bluntly said, "You need this." He explained that my "wiry" pulse, circulation, skin color, and every other sign was a "classic textbook case" of a liver and spleen that is shot. It was a very unusual session for me. He needled several points that he normally does not. At first I was feeling all sorts of odd pressure sensations. It felt like someone had gripped my upper ankle and tried twisting hard, then I felt intense pressure between my eyebrows that made my eyes water (this pressure slowly migrated up my forehead,) then I felt a deep pressure in my lower throat which caused me to cough hard. Coughing with needles all over your body is not pleasant. I do not recommend it! After the pressure had lifted, I felt very fidgety instead of relaxed, like I normally do during acupuncture. I felt like something had "released," like a dam burst within my veins. Whatever that "release" I felt was, I'm still feeling it trying to work its way out of my body. I left feeling a lot more "put together," or in control. It wasn't enough to treat my issue, but it definitely helped kick start the healing process. Since then, I've noticed my heart rate has been occasionally very high, I'm over producing adrenaline for no obvious reason (I'm purposefully avoiding all stress and caffeine,) and I'm getting occasional flash fevers.  My anxiety is down to a tolerable level now and I have been able to sleep most of the night for the last two nights. My digestion is better, but not back to where it used to be before the sinus infection.

Liver and spleen/ pancreas issues are nothing new to me, as my doctor reminded me. We've known all along that these organs are weak. What's very frustrating is that I've spent over a year and a few months now working on healing my digestive organs, only to get hit hard with a sinus infection that stressed my body enough to burn out my organs all over again. Thursday morning I really didn't feel far from the "zombie" status that I was in at the end of 2013 when I first went to see my doctor. My hope is that with enough rest and the right food I can help my organs recover quickly from this. I know they will still be weak, but if they can at least work as well as they did before this set back I'll be happy. My doctor is having me eat as gently as possible, meaning meat that has been slow cooked for a very long time (because the cooking process is breaking it down for my stomach.) I'm also avoiding leaving the safety of my house for several days so that I don't risk exposure to harsh chemicals or allergens that will stress my body again.

One concern I have is that something in my house is causing me to be in a constant mild reaction, preventing me from healing quickly and possibly causing me to react harder when I am hit with something. During this past week that I've been very weak I've been experiencing allergy and/or chemical exposure symptoms: irritability ranging from mild grumpiness to raging anger, itchiness, rashes, unusual headaches, occasional blurred vision, very poor circulation, menstrual spotting, and adrenaline rushes that cause me to go from relaxed to very jittery down to zombie within an hour's time. The problem is, if there is something causing a constant mild reaction in my house, I don't know what it is. It would be easy to blame our bed, go out buy a new organic cotton mattress with zero chemical additives, and then find out I'm still just as bad. While this is a good idea anyway, we cannot afford it. Our houseplants keep developing a white fungus that doesn't stay gone for long. Smokers have been coming into our house. Our cabinets and wood furniture are mostly made from particle board (formaldehyde off-gassing.) Our house is carpeted. I have a hard time keeping up with the dusting. Truthfully, for a seriously chemical sensitive person this house would be a nightmare, despite the fact that it's been fragrance-free for years. I'm not seriously chemically sensitive, but my MCS is bad enough where I can't find a job at a place that doesn't make me sick. I'm not able to up and move to a 100% toxin-free house, so I need to make this house work. Frustrations!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some bone broth to can! It's been brewing in the crockpot for 26 hours and the house smells so bad that it needs to be done. Bone broth may be a highly nutritious liquid, but it sure does reek.