Privilage and (Dis)Ability

This is a follow up to my last post.

There are several reasons why I'm careful and guarded about who I give my energy to, but one of the biggest reasons is that I am a highly sensitive and empathetic person. I read people's energy, and it affects my own very quickly. This is dangerous for me because I don't have much energy to begin with. If someone is full of joy and positivity, it overwhelms me and makes me feel numb. If someone is full of resentment and anger, it spikes my adrenaline and makes me feel weak and worthless. If someone is full of melancholy, I feel a kindred spirit that I'm safe around because I'm not being met with expectations from them. I need to be around calm, relaxed, and laid back people to feel my best. People who are full of drive and determination, want to be too helpful, want to solve problems, want to vent and let off steam, or just want to have too much fun all overwhelm me. This doesn't mean I don't respect when people feel these ways. I am not asking you not to feel these ways, I simply need to guard myself from these feelings to protect myself.

If you know me personally, you might remember I used to be someone eager to analyze the problems of the world and try to come with explanations to understand them, maybe even come up with solutions to solve them. I wanted to talk about politics, religion, world events, and major news stories. I enjoyed thinking through world problems so much that I pursued a degree in Theology.

I can't be that person anymore. I am so overwhelmed with living day to day in my own skin, that I'm unlikely to have an empathetic and caring response to any world problem. You tell me children are dying every day from starvation in that country? I put up a wall immediately. If I choose to give care to this statement I'll be too sick to function. The emotions will exhaust me. You probably expect me to want to talk about how to solve this problem, and then appeal to my empathy and ask for my help in putting a plan into motion, or at least complain about the people who don't help. I can't do this. I can't feel my heart break for every suffering person in the world. It will cripple me. I need my energy to go towards standing upright, talking, digesting, doing chores, working my part time job, managing my pain, and staying on touch with the most important people in my life. If you ask me to spend my energy worrying about dying children that I have no ability to help, you're asking me to not have energy to take care of myself.

You want me to support Black Lives Matter, join the Me Too movement, join a political camp to either praise or hate on President Trump, become an activist for a controversial organization like Planned Parenthood (pro-abortion) or First Choice Clinic (anti-abortion), have a strong vocal opinion on vaccines, participate in Pride events like parades, stand on my Capitol steps protesting injustice with you...

You want me to be what you want me to be, a soldier in your activism army, and you're not listening to me. Yes, I live in the USA, the land of "tolerance," yet with extreme amounts of intolerance. I live in the land of having the privilege to be tolerant or intolerant. You want me to use my privilege to stand up for or against something. You want me to use my privilege to solve problems.

I can't.

And you're not listening to me.

I don't have the privilege of having energy to participate in the world. I wish I did. I have a whole lot of care deep in my heart and soul that I want to give.

I am not a cold-hearted closed-off person naturally. It's not my nature to ignore problems. I respect my body and soul's need to be calm and restful in order to live my life to the fullest I can in this condition. I am going against my own needs if I choose to get riled up over world problems. I need you to go solve those problems for me. I'm going to give my love, support, and respect to those of you who use your privilege, a.k.a ability, to go solve those problems.

Because that's the definition of privilege: Ability.

Do you remember my post on "Ableism"? It's just another term for privilege.

So in other words, I don't have the ability to spend energy on solving problems in the world.

I want you to stop viewing me, a white female college educated adult living in middle class USA, as a person of privilege and ability. I want you to start viewing me and people like me the way you view all the other minorities you're so concerned about. I am in a minority, one that is grossly mistreated: The sick and disabled.

Thankfully, there are activist organizations who are rallying the privileged/ people with ability to help people in my minority group. Next time you're looking for a world problem to solve, please consider helping those who don't have the ability to help themselves.

These are organizations related to illnesses I have. Please consider using your privileged energy to care about world problems on these organizations:

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Millions Missing

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)
Dysautonomia International

Endometriosis
Endometriosis Foundation of America

Multiple Chemical Sensitivities
Chemical Sensitivity Foundation 

I have wanted to write a post like this for a while, but I have worried about sounding like a fraud. I'm in a very good situation, considering I'm suffering from these illnesses. I have a good roof over my head, access to high quality food and water, husband and family who are very supportive, I am capable of working up to 12 hours a week (most of the time, I call in sick more than I like to), have been able to see really good doctors, and won my disability case. I have a lot more supporting me than the vast majority of people with chronic debilitating illnesses. I am extremely grateful, because I would still be 100% bedridden (if even alive) if not for all the privilege I have in my life to support me. I really want others with chronic debilitating illnesses that do not have this much support in their life to have more support so that they can be helped. This is my life goal now: finding help for the helpless in this minority group. These organizations make it possible. They help people who cannot win their disability cases despite being 100% unable to work, do not have family support, don't have roofs over their heads, do not have access to quality foods or water, cannot see doctors due to cost or accessibility, can't find a doctor to take them seriously and help them, and want to give up on life.

You want empathy from me? Give some to me and people like me too. I hope you understand why I'm too overwhelmed now. Thank you for listening.

Surgery and Diagnoses... It's Official!

In the past few weeks I was officially diagnosed with POTS, Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia, ovarian cysts, and Endometriosis. It only took 5 years to get medical proof that I'm suffering, but I have it.

Here's the thing: POTS, Endometriosis, and Mast Cell Activation Disorder (MCAD) tend to go hand-in-hand. I haven't tried seeing a doctor for MCAD, but I have obvious chemical sensitivities that my Naturopathic Doctor helped me figure out. It could easily be MCAD - in fact, given the fact that I have POTS and Endo too, it probably is. I'm uncertain at this point in time if there's any point in me getting my chemical sensitivities diagnosed as MCAD by an MD.

The POTS diagnosis story:

If you follow my blog then you know that last December I saw Dr. Jeffery Cohen, a neurologist in New Hampshire to have some autonomic testing done to rule POTS out. The testing equipment broke, however, and he tried to cancel the appointment on me the day before my flight out there. He was willing to see me and look at other test results, at least. I went to cardiology clinic first and had a Tilt Table Test performed and an Echocardiogram. I did not faint on the tilt table, so the nurses said the test was negative, but Dr. Cohen pointed out that my heart rate did go up over 30 bpm (the requirement for POTS). He put me on a Zio Patch heart monitor for more information. He wouldn't diagnose me without more info, and after seeing the results of the Zio Patch he said I needed to see a cardiologist. My plan was to travel again to see a cardiologist familiar with POTS. My POTS support group said they didn't like Dr. Cohen because he wouldn't diagnose them, but honestly, I really liked Dr. Cohen. He gave me the tests I needed for an accurate assessment, and he was careful and thoughtful. I'm not upset that he wouldn't diagnose me, because I have better information for the diagnosis from someone else because of what he did for me.

I ended up finding a Cardiologist here in Bismarck that is familiar with POTS. I was really surprised by him, and I'm fairly certain he's the only cardiologist locally that is familiar with POTS in adults. I did a lot of digging and asking around last year and couldn't find a doctor who was familiar, and I think this doctor might be new since my asking around. Dr. Stephen Boateng, D.O. at Sanford in Bismarck. I don't think he's an expert on dysautonomia, but he is a very good and careful doctor. I really like him. Dr. Boateng was able to look at all my testing and see the evidence of POTS. He was concerned with my high heart rates on the Zio Patch results, particularly one spike I had. He diagnosed me and had me try a beta blocker: Metoprolol ER 25 mg. In short, it both worked and made me worse at the same time, so he took me off it. I plan to explain this in another post (or this one will get too bulky.)

What is POTS? This explains:





Endometriosis story:

Before seeing him, I went to a gynecologist at Sanford to discuss all my menstrual issues. 2 months of bleeding heavy every day, abnormally long PMS, extra pain... you get the idea. This wasn't the first time I've tried gynecology. Last time, about 4 years ago, I went to a very experienced doctor that I really liked, but she retired just a couple of months ago and I wasn't able to return to her. I initially saw her because I had a MRSA abscess on my vulva - and before you freak out and wonder what I was doing to get it there I can explain. A family member had MRSA who I was taking care of. I probably didn't wash up often enough. Anyway, she helped me recover from the abscess, but did other gynecological tests while I was seeing her. She told me I needed to consider a laprascopy to look for endometriosis, but warned me about the cost. My insurance would not cover the cost, so I decided against doing it. In retrospect, I really wish I had done it then instead of waiting until now. Why? Because I was worse back then and I would really like to know just how much worse I was - I'm fairly certain my naturopathic doctor and acupuncturists have helped me recover from most of my endometriosis before I had the surgery. But the fact of the matter is that I still have endometriosis, and it's officially diagnosed now.

This new gynecologist I saw first had me get an ultrasound, and it showed a few cysts on my ovaries where I have complained about pain. She said a laparoscopy was a very reasonable next step, and so I finally decided it was time to just have it done. I think I'll write a different post about the surgery itself, because I think I can share a lot that will help those of you considering having it done. Especially those of you with chemical sensitivities. I had problems,  I went through 3-4 IVs, but I believe it was worth it. My doctor said she found a lot of scar tissue, probably evidence of past endometriosis. I had endo in a few places that she was able to burn out of me, but I had some on my ovary (the one causing me pain) and she couldn't remove all of it without damaging the ovary. She said she burned it though. I had to have 3 incisions, and now for 2 weeks I've been nursing my belly and trying to let it heal. I'll share photos in the next post where I go into detail. My post-op is in a few days, and we'll discuss treatment options. Endometriosis is a life long illness that will have to be managed.

What is Endometriosis? This video explains:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM88T1R8HD4

(Blogger doesn't let me embed all videos on youtube - so I had to link to this one.)

Between recovering from surgery and going on a beta blocker for 8 days that made me worse in some ways, it's been a difficult time for me. Very difficult. And our finances are scary bad now. But I'm glad I went through all of this. I'm glad to have official diagnoses, and I'm glad to have this on my record in case I need more medical help - especially in emergency situations. No more arguing with doctors, they can just look at my records and see I'm not a psychopathic hypochondriac. That alone is worth everything I've been through!

What A Night of Sleep Looks Like During MCS Reaction

I'm not keeping up with this blog, so long story short, I've been using an Oura Ring since August. I want to give some detailed attention to this at some point, but I can't right now. Way too exhausted. In short, it is a highly advanced sleep tracker that has generally received good ratings as far as accuracy goes, but I'll dig into that topic later. It's not like a Fit Bit or other trackers - it uses different technology and can read a lot more. 

I want to show you what a night after a chemical exposure looks like for me. I came home from work feeling angry, fidgety, uncomfortable, and wanting to beat something up and smash it to pieces. I'm not totally sure what I was reacting to - normally I know right away if something is causing me reactivity, then will get a the worst reaction later on (delayed.) The fact that I was off my pills for 1.5 weeks and had only taken bare minimum to get by at work in the past 4 days has meant more reactions and reacting to lower exposures. Regardless, I was definitely reacting and was very uncomfortable. I went to bed with a resting heart rate jumping constantly between 95-120 while just laying still in bed.


https://drive.google.com/file/d/1olRRgWgc-rXaF2KlDJ6Zi238W9sXiQ-zeA/view?usp=sharing

You will need to click the link below the photo to see it full size to be able to read it. Blogger has some serious formatting limitations and will not allow me to turn the image into a link unless I feel like coding it in HTML, but their HTML is one wall of text, not formatted so that I can easily find where to edit. I'm feeling way too lazy to deal with that.

First problem: 4 hours of REM sleep!? I've read that high REM can mean high stress levels on the body. More than 2 hours tends to be high, from what I've read. I'll link to the articles when I have the energy.

Second problem: Heart rate. Okay, my resting heart rate tends to be high anyway (and I'm getting officially tested for POTS soon, but a few medical practitioners have told me they've seen it when reading my pulse), but this is a bit absurd. During the first two weeks of my menstrual cycle my lowest heart rate of the night tends to be in the upper 60's to low 70's, with average in the 70's, sometimes low 80's. My lowest last night was 86 BPM. Average was 95 BPM. Highest was just below 110 (I wish it would give an exact number.) My body managed to lower my resting heart rate during sleep, but it still stayed too high. And I took pills that should calm my heart rate down - I did need herbs to fall asleep last night.

Third problem: My heart rate variability is super LOW. The higher the number, the better off you are. In my Oura Ring user group many people are reporting that they are generally in the 70's - 90's for average HRV. I have never been above 30 for as long as I've been recording, but 11!? My body was clearly very stressed.

The ring also showed me that my average respiration rate was 18.0, which is high, but I'm usually that high. And it told me that my body temp dropped half a degree Celsius last night, but my body temp is different every night. My temp is up and down and all over the place.


To compare, here's a couple more average nights when I wasn't feeling abnormally terrible:


https://drive.google.com/file/d/1H1-ljVIHp1_0d0Ay58z0qUjQkC8yI5LIcA/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KChhS7TcjuJ5GWrrGPXEU8rTp4xMiCgX4w/view?usp=sharing

Something to keep in mind with REM: it's not restful. It's called Rapid Eye Movement because the body is working to repair and reset during that time. The more you need, the more your body is trying to repair. That's how it was explained to me. So when I have these nights with high REM, even though I got 9 hours of sleep, it was not restful sleep. If I can at least get and hour of deep sleep I do okay, regardless of REM. So I'm exhausted. I couldn't bring myself out of bed until 11 am. I just wanted to lay there. But eventually I started to shiver and I realized I needed food really badly, so I forced myself up.

Beef Bacon is amazing, by the way. I'm sick of turkey bacon (had it too often), and I can't have pork. I actually hate pork, so I don't mind not being able to have it. But a local grass-fed (mostly) beef company makes beef bacon with just beef and sea salt. It's amazing. So incredibly delicious. 

Current Favorite Products

I've been updating this post as I think of things to add to it, and I may continue to update it. These are my current favorite products!

Lauren Brooke Cosmetiques

The whole entire brand. I've written about natural and organic make up before, including Lauren Brooke lip colors (I never finished that post because... fatigue and sickness making me not look camera ready), Mineral Fusion, and MyChelle. MyChelle no longer makes make up. I don't understand why, because they had this awesome foundation cream stick that I loved, but the company decided to focus on skin care instead of cosmetics. Such a disappointment. I switched to Mineral Fusion pressed powder foundation. I like it a lot, but I find it's a bit dry and I broke out to their liquid foundation. I learned that Mineral Fusion is not 100% trustworthy and only some of their products are safe, but the safe products are excellent and I highly recommend. I decided to finally try Lauren Brooke's pressed powder. I'm never going back. It's the bomb! It's not drying, applies really smoothly and evenly, and has this radiance to it that Mineral Fusion didn't give me. I don't feel it on my skin. It looks so natural and feels so natural, but covers the perfect amount and warms up my skin tone nicely. It also neutralizes my undereye bags without concealer! It doesn't hide them like concealer, but it masks the purple color so it looks like I'm not wearing make up or trying to hide them.

I just purchased two new items from them (as in minutes ago, have not arrived yet.) One is their lash conditioner. They sent me a sample of it last time I ordered. I never really thought I wanted a lash conditioner until I tried it, but the sample of it convinced me. It helped tone down my itching and my lashes did act stronger - as in, not falling out at the normal rate. What I would actually like from regular use of it is to regrow lashes. I have a "bald patch" in my lashes that drives me nuts. This conditioner has horsetail in it, and from my understanding, horsetail is the only herb known to create new hair growth (as opposed to helping the hair you already have grow more.)

The other new item I just bought is their creme concealer. I have an issue with eye shadows creasing on me - all brands, doesn't seem to matter if it's powder or liquid. Reviewers said this concealer mixes really well with eye shadow and prevents the creasing. I'm going to test this out and see if it's true! As it is, I tend to wear very light amounts of eye shadow so that when it ends up creasing it's not as obvious. I want to be able to rock a normal layer of eye shadow for hours!

I'm wearing Lauren Brooke Cool 20 Pressed Powder Foundation in this photo (along with Honeybee Garden eye liner, and Mineral Fusion mascara and blush.) I took this on a day when I was feeling badly and tried to get ready for work, so I did my make up, but wasn't strong enough to actually work. I never expected to use the photo, lol, but you can see how it makes my skin look natural with a glow. My chest skin was more pale than normal. I love it!






Biokleen Laundry Powder and Oxygen Bleach Plus

This has been a miracle worker for me! I use the Premium Plus one because it doesn't have corn products in it like the Fragrance Free one does (I'm allergic to corn.) I can use the Fragrance Free liquid from them, but I prefer this powder. It has Zeolite and hydrogen peroxide in it, both of which are excellent ingredients for KILLING perfumes and other fragrances. I might have to wash 2-3 times to get rid of badly contaminated clothing, but the majority of the time one wash is enough to completely remove any trace amounts of fragrances that stick to my clothes. It's awesome!!! It also cleans really well and keeps whites very white. This is the lowest effort most effective laundry product I've ever used.

The oxygen bleach is on the same page I link to. It's like Oxyclean, only with trustworthy ingredients. I use this in toilet tanks and to soak my bath tub with. The toilets have less grime and my tub that is stained a bit brown from using Redmond's Bath Salt Plus turned white. With no scrubbing. :D


This handmade turtle from a Fair Trade store in Minneapolis
...that was on clearance for $4 and I finally found a small succulent for.





Sierra Trading Post

Their website. It's part of the TJMaxx chain of stores, but is for outdoor and recreation enthusiasts. They sell a good variety of organic clothing and eco products. It may not be GOTS certified sweatshop free organic clothing, which is my preference, but I only work 12-16 hours a week. I can't afford my standard unless it's on clearance. I have a small variety of GOTS certified sweat shop clothing in my closet, but it was all purchased on good sales. When I need some article of clothing and I can't find what I need on sale elsewhere, going simply for organic cotton from Sierra Trading Post is amazingly helpful. It's all liquidation, so their selection is constantly changing, but their prices are fantastic. I've bought both organic clothing (brands like Prana, Patagonia, United By Blue, and Adventura) and natural leather with rubber shoes from them at huge savings. I can't rely on them to have what I need, but I've scored great deals from them. And it's excellent for men too! The focus on organic clothing is on women, but they actually have a good variety for men!

The only problem? Their return policy. You'll have to pay to return, which can make returns not worth it on some items. But their prices and discounts make up for it. Just make friends who will buy items that don't fit you.

Choice Mental Focus Tea and Choice Vanilla Roobios Tea

I drink a ton of tea. I can only drink water and tea, no juices or coffee or sodas. I'm limited in which teas I can drink due to medicinal properties of some teas and herbs, but thankfully both of these work for me. I use caffeine sparingly and I plan out when to drink it. I'm sensitive to it, so I have to be careful. Both of these are caffeine free, but work great in the day time! The Mental Focus tea is awesome when I'm wanting to lift brain fog without using caffeine. It really does help! The Vanilla Roobios tea just has this silky smooth dark flavor, and I love dark green and black tea. It's my caffeine-free dark flavor replacement. Sooooooo good!



GoWise USA Blood Pressure Monitor

I have blood pressure issues. I haven't written much about it yet, but I appear to have POTS (doctor tested). POTS is a heart rate issue, but in my case it's a blood pressure issue too. I'll get into this someday when I'm ready to write about the things stressing me out again, lol. Anyway, I bought this last year to monitor myself so I could learn when I was fighting low blood pressure instead of having another issue, like hypoglycemia. It has been really insightful. This monitor uses an arm cuff, which is much more accurate than the write monitors. It's not perfect because it's a machine, which uses averages to calculate. My doctor measures my blood pressure manually and spends a lot more time measuring it to be accurate and see how it fluctuates. This machine won't show fluctuations. But for an at home tool it actually is accurate enough to be helpful. I didn't get excited about it last year because it didn't ever seem to be accurate, but it was my fault. I was measuring incorrectly. I fixed my posture and arm position, which made all the difference in the world!

It does measure heart rate too. I think a normal person could trust the heart rate reading on it, but it doesn't read long enough for someone like me. My heart rate jumps all over the place within seconds. I think it give me an average, like Fitbit does (I'll get into why Fitbit is the wrong tool for people with POTS later.) But what it does tell me is when my resting heart rate is simply too high. Mine is often in the 80's, sometimes in the 90's. That's really not good.






This Shark Vacuum

Vacuuming has always been an issue for me. I get allergy issues if I don't vacuum, but I get allergy issues if I do. It's because the vacuum we had before just kicked up dust and only collected part of it. My husband came to me and said he wanted to get me a better vacuum, but didn't want to get it for me for a holiday or birthday because he didn't want to imply that I'm just an objectified house maid. lol! So he got it for us "for Memorial Day." Ha! He was teasing, because I'm not sensitive about such things, but I enjoyed the laugh.

Anyway, this vacuum sucks! It actually sucks hard without kicking dust up into the air! It has 2 more amps (power) than the last vacuum, and it has a HEPA filter built in to prevent any dust from leaving through the exhaust. It's not only collecting a lot more from our carpet, it's allowing me to vacuum as much as I want without even needing to wear my face mask! All the other features are wonderful on it too, but the fact alone that the suction is powerful and it has a HEPA filter is enough to make me fall in love with it. If you need an allergy friendly vacuum, I highly recommend this one!



This was after a quick vacuum around the upstairs to try out the new vacuum. I had just vacuumed the week prior with the old vacuum. Clearly the old vacuum wasn't picking up very much...



Om Pure Air mask

I've been using Vog Mask, but suddenly I couldn't find their organic cotton version anywhere for sale. My old 2 from them are too worn out and they're not refreshing in the sun. It's hard to breathe through them. So I was forced to find an alternative to buy. I bought this mask, and despite it taking 4 weeks to ship to me, I actually like it better than Vog Mask. It's easier to breathe through it, it fits my face better and seals better, and it's more effective. I think they have a better carbon filter than Vog Mask uses. I'll want to write a full review on this later, so stay tuned for that.





Hemp Organic Life Etsy store

This shop is awesome. All the products are made from organic hemp and linen, and they are high quality. I bought an organic hemp sleeping bag from her to use when I need to travel and sleep in beds that aren't my safe organic latex bed. I bought it as a barrier between me and the bed so I wouldn't have skin contact, at the very least, with the flame retardants, polyester, and other synthetics. I'll review this sleeping bag after traveling with it later this summer, so stay tuned for that, but snuggling with it at home is wonderful! It breathes so well, but also traps in enough body heat to keep me comfortable. The fabric is strong. It's mildly scratchy the same way wool is, but it's softening up with washing. I actually really like that slightly rough texture, I think it feels good on my skin. Anyway, she did a fantastic job with this sleeping bag. She's from the Ukraine, so shipping almost made me cry, but it was so incredibly worth it! You can see how comfortable it is:



She also sent me a free gift of these linen socks, which are so perfect. They're very breathable, but keep me warm. They feel cozy on my skin. These are the best free gift I've received with an order!






Redmond's new Tooth Powder in Black Licorice

So... normally I'm an advocate of making your own toothpaste from scratch in order to save money and save plastic. It's really easy to make with bentonite clay and charcoal. But in this case, Redmond made theirs better than the DIY version. How, you ask? By making it very powdery. It's so much finer than any toothpowder I've made from scratch, and therefore it feels so much softer on the teeth. It brushes better and is much easier to rinse out of my mouth. But the best part? The black licorice flavor. It's awesome. It's so good. I accidently bought the peppermint version and I don't care for the flavor of it.

Also, for those of you who really don't want to do DIY, this is a great option, even though it's in plastic, because the tooth powder lasts about 3x longer than their Earthpaste in the tubes.



Avocado Oil Spray

I'm not sure I have to justify why this is a favorite thing of mine. It's a super healthy fat in spray form without aerosol. I just spray it on salads and it's perfectly evenly distributed on the leafs. I spray it on chicken before it goes on the grill and it means I don't have to massage the chicken with oily hands to get a nice thin coating of oil on it.



Badger Face Oil Set:

Organic oils in a glass pump bottle - they're perfect! I don't react to any of the sets except the Argan oil one, which has orange essential oil in it. I don't do well with citrus oils. They're so gentle, take off make up way better than just coconut oil, and moisturize very well. I wear the face oil under my make up and it doesn't leave me greasy whatsoever. I can't say enough good about this set! My skin looks much more supple with regular use.



Vitamin C and Glutathione IVs (and my Mom.)

I had two of these on my last trip to see my doctor. They made me really nauseous and gave me some nasty headaches. I wanted to throw up, but was made very thirsty from them at the same time. I felt like a trillion micro explosions were happening in my body all at once. Why do I like them so much, then? Because they seriously help a lot after my body calms down from receiving the IV. Better energy, better mood, much less severe reactions to things, better digestion, clearer head and clearer thinking, less overall body pain... they're helpful! But the effect doesn't last long enough. I need to have them done regularly.



Dr. Bronner's Baby Mild Soap

This soap is fragrance free, doesn't dry out my skin, is organic and doesn't irritate my skin, and is very travel friendly. I accidently left my container of it in the bathroom where my Chiropractor and Acupuncturist are. As you can see that building stocks heavily scented soaps - it's hard for me to use their bathroom and I need to slip on my mask to go in there (it's a shared building and they don't choose the soap.) My container was mostly full when I left it there, and exactly a week later it was only a quarter full. People were choosing my fragrance free soap over the fake scented cancer causing soap! That gave me a lot of hope for humanity, lol.

I buy the large 32 oz container of it and keep refilling this little one. I keep this small container in my purse so that I have safe soap with me in public.






Wokamon App

I got myself the cheap Fitbit Flex 2 because AT&T was having a special on them. I wish I had researched fitness trackers before impulsively getting it. At the time I didn't think I wanted to spend more for a heart rate monitor, and I was wasn't wrong to think that since Fitbit's heart rate monitoring isn't detailed enough for people with POTS, but some monitoring would be nice. It also doesn't have a GPS, so I can't map my walks with it. I was mostly interested in the sleep tracking feature, but as it turns out, it's not accurate. I think it's sleeping when I'm laying in bed with my eyes open wondering when I'll ever finally drift off to sleep.

But it's not all a disappointment! I know I can't challenge myself to do more exercise with it in my condition, but it's actually been helpful to see how much walking I do on a normal work day vs normal non-work day. I can see how active I really am when I tell my doctor how much exercise I think I'm getting.

The best part? Wokamon and Achievemint, two apps that are weirdly motivating.

Wokamon is the modern day smart phone Tomagachi, lol! You must take care of your monsters by leveling them up with steps from your fitness tracker. When it tells me I only need 156 more steps to level up, I actually want to get up and get those steps in, even when I'm feeling lazy and tired. I am too motivated by reward systems in video games. :) But hey, it's fun and it's working! I might only average 3,000 steps a day (so I can't compete), but my monsters are leveling up!

Achievemint pays you for using a fitness tracker. You can earn up to $10 a month for all the activity you do with your fitness tracker. It's going to end up being more like $10 every 6 months at the rate I earn points, but hey, I'll take the $10 when I finally earn it!




30% Grain White Vinegar

This stuff works amazingly for killing weeds. It burns weeds, but leaves the roots. After the weed shrivels up you'll have to spray again to burn the roots. The fact of the matter is that it's non-toxic and highly effective! That said, it does burn the skin. Cover your skin when applying!

It IS made from corn, but it's non-GMO corn. The company doesn't verify if the corn was sprayed with Round Up or not, but they do claim the corn is non-GMO and Round Up is mainly used on GMOs. It's also just the acid from the corn, so it doesn't seem to cause me allergic issues (I'm allergic to corn.) I'm not consuming it, just spraying it on weeds.


These reusable organic cotton produce bags

I've been using these for years now, but they're still one of my favorite things. They are fantastic for buying fresh produce with because they weigh nothing, they're breathable, and they keep produce fresh and clean. They wash very easily.

But I discovered a new use for them! They're perfect for washing bras in and other delicates in! Instead of a nylon mesh bag designed for bras, I just stick my bra in one of these, tie the top loosely, and throw it in the washer and dryer. My bras are coming out cleaner than when I used the nylon mesh bag, and I'm guessing the cotton allows more soap through. These bags make my life so much easier!


Alaffia Bubble Bath

This bubble bath is by far the best Alaffia product. It bubbles really well, the bubbles last a long time, it's effective soap, and it's great for washing hair with! I like to mix Starwick Botanical's Kelp powder, baking soda (to neutralize chlorine), and this bubble bath together. I'll wash my hair in the bathwater and soak in it for a while. Then I'll even shave my legs in the bathwater. The bubble bath stays soapy enough to keep my legs lubricated enough to shave with. I rinse in the shower after, of course. I don't particularly care for this brand's shampoo or conditioner (I loved them at first, then it started leaving residue in my hair that wouldn't wash out), but this bubble bath couldn't be better!


Mantra Sports Pilates Ring

I had to let this off gas for a while before I could use it - it's not safe right out of the box for MCS people like myself. But after it stopped being smelly I was able to play with it. The reason I like it is because it allows me to use my muscles even when I'm stuck in bed on my back. I just put it between my legs and squeeze. I put it between my ankles and lift it with my legs. I hold it in my hands and squeeze it and pull it apart. The simple resistance it offers helps me a lot when my muscles feel restless but I'm not feeling strong enough to stand up and walk around. There are probably other great similar products, but this is the one I chose and I really like it!



My acupressure mat - I still love this thing so much!!



....And more. I'm forgetting plenty of things I want to share with you, I'm sure of it, but I've been working on this post slowly all day. I'm done. :) I've leaving out obvious things I've already reviewed, such as my new organic latex bed, which I can't say enough good about! Seriously, your bed matters. A lot.

Latex Mattress Review Part 2: The Bed and Bedding Review (Updated!)

If you read part one of my review on my new latex mattress, you will have learned the need for choosing a natural non-toxic mattress. I encourage you to at least skim that post before reading this view, because this review is based on my need for a natural bed.In this review I'll cover 4 bedding items I bought from Sleep On Mattress: The Pillow, Foundation, Mattress, and Mattress Pad. In the upcoming Part 3 I'll discuss other pillows, sheets, and blankets. Bedding should not be as complicated as it, but because it is, this review deserves 3 parts to cover it all!

The Pillow: Malouf Convoluted Contour Latex Pillow
(Click the link to see the pillow on the company's website)
Yep, the name is a mouthful, as my husband was quick to point out, but bear with me! After too many dollars and too much neck pain from buying several different pillows online, I decided to try something novel: going into an actual store and trying out pillows before I bought them! The problem is that I can't step foot into most stores without getting sick. Thankfully for me, Sleep On Mattress is a store in Bismarck, ND, where I live, that caters to people like me. They offer natural synthetic-free bedding, and they're located in a mall that isn't heavily scented (like most malls are - I normally would never dare step foot into a mall.) I learned about them because they advertised their organic latex beds through the health products store I work at, Terry's Health Products. Amazingly, the very first contoured latex pillow I tried in the store ended up being a winner! It's a Malouf pillow, but done right (I tried others of this brand first, which I'll get into in Part 3.) It is made from natural talalay latex in a polyester case, so I removed the polyester case and replaced it with an organic cotton zippered case:

I love this pillow. So. Much. One side has a higher loft than the other and it's contoured, so it supports my neck if I'm on my back or side and it doesn't put too much pressure on my ears. It's soft and supportive without being hard and firm, meaning that it keeps my head at the right height and angle all night, whereas other latex pillows I tried let my head sink down to the mattress or didn't let my head sink in at all.

The latex on the pillow falls apart very easily, and that is my only complaint. It needs to be treated gently. Sorry folks, this will not work in a pillow fight. In simply switching out the cases I lost lots of small chunks of latex. You can see in the photo that some of the points are missing. I haven't had any problems with losing latex since then, and it hasn't affected how comfortable and supportive the pillow has been for me.


The FoundationI do not have a brand name on this foundation, my apologies. This was the hardest part of purchasing the new bed. Let me back up a bit. My husband was willing to try a new mattress if it meant improving my health, but he did not want to lose the frame we already owned. It's an upholstered queen size frame with a built-in head board that looks very nice. I also like it, so I agreed we could keep it (even though it's all synthetic and probably has plenty of flame retardants, it's old enough where it has off-gassed, the mattress doesn't actually touch the frame at any point, and we hardly ever lean up against it.) That meant we needed to buy a traditional foundation to support the mattress, because the frame is meant to hold a foundation.

(Latex and Memory Foam mattresses cannot use a box spring. They need to be supported by a foundation with no more than 3-4" between each slat. The mattress will wear out too quickly on the wrong type of foundation or on a box spring, because they'll allow the mattress to sink in when it should never sink in at any point.)

I looked into a couple of different options: a Savvy Rest Insert without any synthetic material concerns (sold by Sleep On Mattress), a much cheaper basic wooden foundation with a removable synthetic cover that had flame retardants (I don't have a brand name on this) (also sold by Sleep On Mattress), and a solid wooden Amish foundation that was on sale on Amazon.com. If money were not a barrier, I would have chosen the Savvy Rest Insert without question. It really was the right choice for us, but our finances said otherwise. The basic affordable wooden foundation with the removable cover made me a bit nervous - did the wood absorb some of the flame retardants? For someone without MCS it would have been a great option. The Amish foundation on Amazon looked like it would fit my needs very well, but there were just enough reviews cautioning me against buying it. Then we were presented with a new option: Sleep On Mattress had one metal and wood collapsible foundation for sale. The price was right at $130, it appeared to be right for our needs, and it was easy to transport because of the collapsible frame. My husband chose to go with it. Sleep On Mattress does not normally carry it, but I bet they can order it for you if you're interested.

The foundation has been working just fine, but if I were to make the decision over again, I probably would have tried to convince my husband to get the Savvy Rest Insert instead.


Setting this foundation up was not at all as easy as it was supposed to be. This photo shows the foundation after we opened it up from the collapsed form. We then attempted to put the two horizontal support bars on. The idea is that the end of the bars go into holes - they should slide right in. The reality is that the fit was very tight and they required a cloth and a hammer to force in.



Then we inserted the wooden boards across the top. The ends of the boards have plastic caps with two little pegs in them. The pegs go into holes in the metal frame to support the boards. 3 of these pegs were broken off. The construction was fairy poor on these pegs, and I wouldn't be surprised if most of them break off in tearing down the foundation - if we ever do that.





We then put an old sheet over the top of it as the cover. It came with a synthetic flame retardant infested cover, but the cover came separately so we simply didn't put it on.

Even though the wooden slats are flexible and look thin, the foundation has worked well. It is supporting our 150 lb latex mattress.

...But it's also a bit squeaky. This was my greatest concern when buying a metal foundation, and it proved to be a bit of an issue. The squeaking is only on my side of the bed, and I only hear it when I get in and out of bed. Thankfully it never squeaks once I'm already on the mattress. A wooden foundation can squeak too, but squeaky metal tends to be higher pitched and it echos through the rest of the foundation.


The Mattress: Sleep On Mattress's own Latex Mattress

The mattress we chose to go with is Sleep On Mattress's own brand of a 9" Dunlop Latex mattress with an organic cotton and wool casing. The wool is the fireproofing that brings it up to industry standard, so they didn't have to add synthetic flame retardants. They have it manufactured for their own store. They explained to me that they were searching for a natural latex mattress comparable to Savvy Rest (an organic latex mattress company that's top tier), but with a lower price tag. Making their own ended up being the most economical, and the mattress is therefore more affordable than the Savvy Rest. It is normally $2,000 for the queen size, but in exchange for this review I was given a reduced price. If you are interested in this mattress, but are not from Bismarck, don't despair! They will ship!

I was told that they are in the process of making different models of their own store brand of latex mattress, some with gel and foam added in, and with different heights. So if the mattress we bought from them doesn't sound right for you, ask about their other models. The owners are interested in working with you to find what you need instead of pushing their agenda on you. They'll help you find what you need, and they do understand the issues between natural and synthetic mattresses!

When we purchased the mattress I expected this review was going to be very easy to write. I expected within a week I'd be able to write all about it with ease, but that hasn't been the case. 3 weeks later and we're still trying to make a decision on the mattress! This isn't a bad thing, and I'll explain:

First and foremost, is the mattress solving my MCS problem? Was it worth purchasing a natural mattress to better my health? YES! On the old memory foam mattress I regularly fought a rising heart rate every night I went to bed, and if I couldn't fall asleep before my heart rate skyrocketed, I'd be doomed to toss and turn and take even more herbal sleeping pills to try to knock myself out. I regularly had stress dreams and nightmares. I would often feel high anxiety as I was trying to fall asleep and again when I woke up. I experienced more fibromyaliga pain in that bed than anywhere else. I also had more skin rashes when I slept in that bed.

I haven't had a single nightmare or stress dream since sleeping on this new latex mattress. I have not experienced the skyrocketing heart rate on most nights (but I had the problem on a few nights after a food reaction or being in a public place where I was reacting.) I'm waking up feeling peaceful, not on high alert. The fibromyaliga pain has been greatly reduced, and I'm feeling it more after eating the wrong foods and not so much in bed. My skin rashes are reduced, but not gone (but there are other causes, such as the mycotoxins in my body.) Yes, I feel SO MUCH BETTER on this mattress, and my sleep is higher quality.

Secondly, is it comfortable? Yes... The floor model of this mattress was softer than the one we received. The floor model was about right for us, in that it was firm enough to give support, but comfortably soft around pressure points. My hips and shoulder sank in the right amount. The mattress we received was definitely more firm. It didn't let our pressure points sink in much, and my husband and I both woke up stiff and sore for the first week. The longer we sleep on it, however, the softer it gets. We've had it for 3 weeks and both of us are less stiff and sore, and I'm feeling my hips and shoulders sink in further. At first we were seriously discussing buying a topper to soften it up. Sleep On Mattress offers a soft dunlop latex topper in 2" or 3" that is of the same quality as the mattress itself. We chose not to purchase the topper because the mattress continued to soften up. It's still not as soft as the store model. I went back into the store and tried it out and I could immediately feel the difference. It is, however, finally feeling comfortable for me. If my husband decides it needs a topper then we'll go with a 2", not 3", because we both like a slightly firm mattress. 3" would probably soften it up too much. All we would want from the topper is softer pressure points.  (Update: we bought the 3" topper, and it's so so so so much better than expected: please see my review of it below.) If you're the type of person who needs a firm, but comfortable and cozy, this mattress will probably be perfect for you. It's not nearly as firm at the floor, thankfully, but if you feel best sleeping on the floor then you're probably not shopping for a mattress anyway.

One adjustment I had to make to reduce my shoulder pain on the new mattress was lift my pillow up a bit. I'm a side sleeper, so a little more loft was all it took. I did this by adding a homemade organic cotton pillow under my latex pillow. I made it a while back to try to add loft to other pillows I was trying to make work for me, but that failed because the pillows I was trying to make work were simply wrong for me. I made the pillow very flat, so it only adds about half an inch, but that was enough in this case. I'm noticing that as the mattress softens up with use the pillow is starting to feel a little unnecessarily high, so it might continue to soften up enough that I no longer need to use the second pillow.

Third, how easy was it to set up? Well, let me be clear: this is a 150 lb mattress that comes compressed and rolled up into a tube. It's not easy to transport due to the weight and awkward length. Once it's unrolled, it's like trying to move a queen sized piece of Jello that weighs 150 lbs. Once the mattress is set up, leave it set up. Don't plan to move it. My husband and I were able to carry it out of my truck, up the stairs, down the hallway, and into the bedroom. By "carry" I mean slide on the carpet as much as possible. We were able to unroll it, get a full encasement allergy cover on it, and then get it in place on the bed. Nether of us are that strong. Neither of us want to do it again. But it was well worth it, and we quickly forgot about the hassle after a few nights of sleeping on it. And if setting it up yourself really bothers you, have the guys at the store do it for you. ;)

It came in an awkward box:



It was plastic wrapped to keep it rolled up and compressed:




Removing the plastic made it quickly decompress and unroll, before we could control the process. First thing we did was slide this allergy protector on it, which was the biggest pain of all. I'll explain which allergy cover I got in Part 3. We had to lift the mattress and pull up the cover an inch at a time, which was very tedious and difficult. I forgot to get a photo of the mattress before the cover was put on, so I pulled back the cover for this photo so that you can see the organic cotton and wool casing. Notice how the mattress falls like jello off the end of the foundation to the floor:

Set up and made our bed (forgive all the clutter, we had to push our stuff out of the way to set up this bed). As you can see, it's thinner than most mattresses. Our former mattress was 12" thick, and this is 9" thick. Big difference! We're closer to the floor, we don't have to jump up onto the bed to sit on it, and best of all, we're not stretching out our sheets! We have deep mattress sheets, but even they would come untucked on our old mattress. Our blankets hang further off the sides of this bed, which means we no longer have cold air attacking our legs in the middle of the night!

Final verdict (which I will update in another few weeks to see if it softens up more):

The mattress was worth it! While I would prefer it to be a bit softer, it is comfortable now that it's had time to soften up. I love that we have the option to add a latex topper of the same quality if we choose to soften it up more. The latex feels better than the memory foam in that I can adjust my sleeping position on it easily, whereas the memory foam mattress wrapped around my shape a bit too much to make it easy to move. I love that I'm getting better, deeper, more restful sleep on it! I'm not reacting to the mattress at all, so my body can actually relax at night!

If you're intrigued by all the benefits of this mattress, but the firmness worries you a bit, Sleep On Mattress does sell other latex mattress options. They carry a Talalay line that has some synthetics, but is mostly natural. They also carry the top-of-the-line Savvy Rest mattresses, which are certified organic latex mattresses. They had a couple options in the store to try in this line, and they have different feels. Again, this store is awesome because they will work with you. And they do ship! You don't have to live in Bismarck to buy from them!

UPDATE 12/22/16 - Latex Topper:The mattress continued to soften up and my body began to adjust to it. I actually found it to be comfortable and would have been happy with it as it was. My husband, however, still found it to be too firm, so we ordered the 3" soft topper. He decided against the 2" because he wanted to make sure we bought the best topper and not take a chance on a thinner model that might not have been enough for him.

I'm being sincere when I say that the mattresses was comfortable before the topper. But I'm also being sincere when I say that the topper is an AMAZING addition! I was worried it was going to soften it up too much, but this latex is amazing in that it softened it up a lot for my husband (who is obviously heavier than I am) and didn't soften it up much for me. The topper is very supportive, but lets pressure points sink in easily. I was worried about losing support by going softer, but I didn't lose any support while gaining pressure point relief! I stated in the original post that I needed to prop up my pillow so that my shoulder wasn't squished on the original mattress. I do not need to prop it up now. This topper lets my shoulder sink in the perfect amount and my head rests perfectly on the pillow. My husband went to the chiropractor, finally, and got rid of his back pain (for now - he needs go to regularly.) So he can say for sure that this mattresses and topper is not giving him back pain. He's sleeping very well, waking up feeling good (not stiff and achy like on the mattress before the topper), and is actually starting to compliment the bed!

This topper is normally about $400. Don't fear the price tag: it's worth it. Remember that latex can last 15-20 years if you take care of it. Most mattresses only last about 5-8 before you really should look into replacing them. So investing an additional $400 into a bed that is safe, healthy, won't make you sick, very supportive and comfortable, and very long-lasting is an excellent deal.

The ONLY thing I'm a bit sad about it is that we now have a 12" mattress + topper. Many of you might think this is better - it all comes down to preference. My husband likes the height better. For me it just makes it a tiny bit more challenging to put my sheets on. They are now a snug fit. I'm only 5'5", so I have to jump up a bit to crawl into bed.

I, of course, have photos to share:

It came in a much less awkward box. They were able to fold the topper in half before compressing it and rolling it up, so the box was actually very manageable. I could carry it up the stairs into the bedroom myself.


I was able to unroll it on the bed because because it wasn't awkward, unlike the mattress. The mattress was difficult to set up, but this was very easy.


It unrolled folded in half. What you can see in this photo (which I forget to get a good photo of for the mattress itself) is the organic cotton cover. This is the exact same cover (and type of latex) as the mattress has.



It does add some height, as you can see. You can also see how much padding it gives in order to soften up the mattress. Thinner versions are available (they're also cheaper), but I think it's good to see what the full size looks like when making a decision.

  (Sorry, excuse all my pill bottles in the background. I meant to clean up the bedroom before taking photos, but I only had enough energy to set up the topper.)



The Savvy Rest Cotton Mattress Pad:

I didn't purchase this with the mattress. I understood the benefits of it, but I thought the allergen cover might be enough for my needs. What changed my mind was reading up on how to care for a latex mattress, and I kept seeing that body sweat and heat can slowly deteriorate latex over time. I want this mattress to last me as long as possible (I've read 15-20 years when cared for correctly,) and I decided that I really don't want to have to wash the allergen any more often than necessary because it is such a pain to get on. The mattress pad is very easy to take off and wash, and it will collect any body fluids that get through the sheets. What really put me over the edge and made me buy the pad is when someone told me that they had a latex mattresses that molded. This really confused me, because latex is naturally mold resistant, and that was one of my biggest reasons for choosing latex over another natural mattress. She was not using a mattress pad. I wouldn't be surprised if the latex wasn't molding, but body fluid that got into the mattress was molding. She had mold toxicity in the past, and mycotoxins do sweat out of out of people with mold in their bodies. Either way, this made me decide to buy the topper. I do have a mycotoxin issue in my body, and I don't want mold to grow in my new safe mattress.

The topper is very nice: it's 100% undyed organic cotton with a stitching pattern to keep it from bunching. It is made slightly over sized so that it has room to shrink after washing. I washed mine in cold water with plant-based non-toxic detergent, and then I dried it by draping it over two dining room chairs and placing my air purifier under it. The air purifier creates quite the breeze on the high setting. Even after washing it properly, it did shrink to exactly the same size as the mattress. So that wasn't a problem, and it was very easy to care for.

I thought it might add a soft layer to the mattress, but it did not. At first it actually made the mattress more firm, but that was because I tied it too tight. After loosening the grip of the ties the mattress felt the same as it did without the pad.





Thank you for reading my review! Comment with any questions, and I'll be happy to answer them. You can look forward to Part 3, which will be on the bedding (blankets, sheets, etc) in a week or so. Let me get past Thanksgiving first. :) (Update - that might come after Christmas. This month is too stressful for me!)

Thank you so very much to Robert and Mike at Sleep On Mattress for this amazingly healthy mattress and for your wonderful high quality service! I've really enjoyed working with you both, and I cannot recommend your store enough!

Latex Mattress Review Part 1: Addressing the Need for a Non-Toxic Bed

This is part one of a two part blog review on the new natural latex bed in our bedroom. Part one is about the need for a non-toxic mattress. Part two will be the review of the mattress we chose.

Did you know we spend, on average, a quarter of our lives sleeping? That's around 25 years in bed. When we spend such a significant amount of time in one place, shouldn't we make sure it's a healthy safe place to be? Then you should think about your bed.

4 years ago, when my husband and I moved to North Dakota, we needed a new bed. An old spring mattress was left for us to use, but it was giving us backaches that made it too unhealthy to keep using. So we did what any other poor young couple would do: we went searching for the most affordable new bed. We ended up deciding on a Paula Deen 12" thick memory foam mattress that was on sale at Big Lots. The mattress, foundation, and plush upholstered frame cost us a combine total of $500, which is relatively very affordable. The bed was very comfortable. It was firm in all the right areas, but let pressure points sink in comfortably. No more backaches!

... And then we fast forward a couple of years. Every time I laid in the bed at night to fall asleep my heart rate would slowly increase more and more. If I didn't manage to fall asleep before my heart rate got too high, my heart rate would be the reason I couldn't sleep. I started tossing and turning more and more. I would experience more fibromyalgia pain in that bed than anywhere else. My health was deteriorating enough that it was difficult to know if the bed was causing the problems or if other health problems were causing my problems. I eventually had to quit my job due to chronic illness. I was in chronic pain, fought severe chronic fatigue, and lost a good amount of brain function. I ended up spending most of my time in bed, where I could not improve.

I have a condition called "Multiple Chemical Sensitives," or MCS for short. It's also known as Environmental Illness (EI) or 20th Century Illness. It can also be a part of Sick Building Syndrome, which generally refers to mold (but I do have mold illness too - that's another story.)  What this means is that when I encounter synthetic chemicals in the air, such as perfumes, cleaners, paint, cigarette smoke, car exhaust, flame retardants, and so on, my body has an allergic-like reaction. I have several types of reactions: heartburn, headache, severe sudden fatigue, gut ache, skin rashes, fibromyalgia flare (widespread pain in my muscles and joints), blurred vision (sometimes vertigo), rapid heart rate, difficultly breathing, sinus infections, tinnitus, nerve pain, and more. I react more strongly to synthetic chemicals than most other people, but that does not imply that healthy people are not affected by the synthetic chemicals. Many people with this condition refer to themselves as "canaries," referring to the Canary in the Coal Mine. We get hurt by these toxins before other people do, and we see our reactions as warning signs to those who are healthier. The implication is that even healthy people who are exposed to too much of these synthetic (and sometimes natural) toxins will eventually have health problems from the exposure.

Our memory foam mattress, as comfortable as it was, was made from 100% synthetic chemicals. We purchased this mattress before I developed full MCS, and I question if it was part of the reason that I developed MCS. Something to consider is what the University of Rochester found in a sleep study. They found that the body clears out toxins from the brain during sleep. If our body uses sleep as at time to clear out toxins, isn't it counter productive to be sleeping on a bed that is full of toxins? In my case, after many dollars and tests later, we've discovered that my body's normal detox pathways do not function well. I do not make or use gluathione well, the body's master antioxidant (which binds to things the body considers toxic and pulls them out through our bowel). Imagine the scenario in which my body is unable to process toxins normally, and then I sleep on a mattress full of toxins for years. The toxins would build up in my body because it can't keep up, right? That would cause health problems, right? Yes, my thoughts exactly. I can't prove anything, but I have good scientific reasons to believe this was the case. Now imagine you, a hopefully healthy person with a normally functioning detox pathways in your body, regularly polluting your body with toxins. You eat artificial ingredients in your food, apply synthetic ingredients to your skin and hair (your skin absorbs most of what you put on it into your blood stream,) you wear clothes treated with formaldehyde and flame retardants and made from synthetic polyester, you breath in car exhaust and cigarette smoke while in public, you encounter artificial fragrances on other people and in the stores you shop in, you're surrounded by synthetic cleaning products in your work place... and then you go to sleep on a synthetic mattress. How much do you expect your body to take until all of these regular daily exposures wear out your body and cause health problems? What if you could sleep on a non-toxic bed that allowed your body to actually detox during sleep, like it is meant to, instead of fighting more foreign toxins?

"Heather Stapleton, an environmental chemist at Duke University, says there's simply not enough data to determine whether low levels of these chemicals will eventually make people sick. "It's the dose that makes the poison," she says. "If they're not getting out, maybe it's not a problem—but we don't know. There are plenty of lab studies that show that these compounds are harmful. It's just a question of what levels people are exposed to.""

What is memory foam made of and do we really have proof of its toxicity? Due to the fact that I could easily write a whole book on this topic, I'm going to point you in the direction of people who have already written on this topic:

1. http://www.sleepjunkie.org/are-memory-foam-mattresses-safe/

"Memory Foam & Polyurethane Foam Components

• Polyols – the binder/bulk ingredient. Usually composed of petroleum oil-derived ingredients, but may also include botanical sources like soy or castor beans.
• Diisocyanates – the reactive ingredient. Reacts with the polyols and blowing agent to produce a flexible polyurethane foam. The most commonly used sources are MDI and TDI, which alone in raw forms can cause respiratory and dermal sensitization and may be carcinogenic. MDI is regarded as the safer and less toxic option, and is known to be the least hazardous organic isocyanate. The primary hazard with these compounds is during manufacturing; after reacting they are inert but can offgas.
• Blowing Agents – introduces carbon to create the foam. Used to use CFCs, though today manufacturers may use water, HFC or other agents."

2. https://savvyrest.com/info/does-memory-foam-contain-toxic-chemicals
"So what are those “additional chemicals”? What do we know about memory foam?

1. There have been legal consequences for memory foam companies which claimed their products are free of volatile organic compounds (VOCs).
2. Some memory foam mattresses contain toxic chemicals such as formaldehyde, benzene, and naphthalene.
3. Memory foam contains isocyanates which (according to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration) can cause irritation of the eyes, nose, throat, and skin.
4. Exposure to isocyanates can lead to chest tightness and asthma. According to Yale University, continued exposure to isocyanates can lead to “regular asthma, and asthma attacks that are triggered in many environments, not just by isocyanate exposure.”
5. Isocyanates contain compounds classified as potential human carcinogens (Occupational Safety and Health Administration)."

3.  http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/12/30/mattress-toxic-chemicals.aspx

"Why Flame Retardant Chemicals in Your Mattress Could Be Dangerous

The primary filling material used in most conventional mattresses is polyurethane foam — a highly flammable petroleum-based material. Because of its high flammability, polyurethane foam must be treated or wrapped with fire retardant chemicals.
Flame-retardant chemicals have been linked to serious health risks, including infertility, birth defects, neurodevelopmental delays, reduced IQ scores and behavioral problems in children, hormone disruptions, and various forms of cancer.
The risks may be especially dangerous to children, as research revealed that children born to women who were exposed to high levels of PBDEs during pregnancy had, on average, a 4.5 point decrease in IQ.⁴ Such children are also more prone to hyperactivity disorders.
Remember, these chemicals don't "stay put" in the mattress. They migrate out and collect in house dust. As a result, an estimated 90 percent of Americans have some level of flame-retardant chemicals in their bodies.
Long-term residents of California, which was the first state to use flame retardant chemicals, tend to have far higher levels.
This is no small concern. Flame retardant chemicals have even been identified as one of 17 "high priority" chemical groups that should be avoided to reduce your risk of breast cancer.⁵
Adding to the conundrum of using flame retardant chemicals, when on fire, objects doused in flame retardants (yes, they can still catch fire) give off higher levels of carbon monoxide, soot, and smoke than untreated objects.
These three things are more likely to kill a person in a fire than burns, which means flame retardant chemicals may actually make fires more deadly."

It's a lot to consider, and a lot of this probably sounds like a conspiracy theory. Companies can't make products that are harmful, right? There's regulations to prevent toxic products from being sold, right? It's not that simple or easy. We live in a consumerist society where synthetic chemicals are considered safe until proven harmful, and who is going to take the time, resources, and energy to test all the new chemicals being invented?

So, knowing what you know now, do you think it's a good idea to consider purchasing a non-toxic mattress? That leads us to the next question: what does non-toxic mean? For me, in my condition, it means one specific thing: made from natural materials without any added synthetic chemicals. In my case natural materials do not cause me to react (I am allergic to many natural things, but that's an entirely different issue.)

There are several different options of non-toxic bedding: organic or natural cotton, wool, down, dunlop latex, or talalay latex. Each option has a different price point, comfort level, and function. Each option has different advantages and disadvantages. For instance, organic cotton mattresses tend to wear out quickly, even though they're the least allergenic. Wool mattresses tend to last longest, but they're most expensive when you want one that offers good support. Talalay latex is known as a softer latex than Dunlop, but it generally goes through a more synthetic processing to make, making Dunlop more natural.

I chose to go with a natural dunlop latex mattress for several reasons. First, my naturopathic doctor introduced me to the latex pillow and it worked very well for me, so I knew I'd be safe with a full latex mattress. Second, it's the most similar to memory foam, which is what we were used to sleeping on. Third, it's the most economical for our needs. Most importantly, Robert from Sleep On Mattress in Bismarck, ND gave me an offer I couldn't refuse on a natural dunlop latex mattress. His offer was the best I'll ever get and it came at the right time.

I will review Sleep On Mattress and the pillow and mattress I bought from them in Part Two, but here's a sneak peak of the process of setting it up (we were able to get a natural cotton allergen cover on it, which is always a good sign of a good mattress):





For further information, I highly recommend these detailed and scientific documentaries:

Stink!

Toxic Hot Seat

Synergy Organic Clothing Reivew

I discovered Synergy Organic Clothing a few months ago, and when I discovered them my first thought was, "Why hasn't anyone told me about them!?" This is an organic cotton clothing company that is GOTS certifed. They have stylish unique clothing unlike other organic brands on the market. They're not your basic t-shirt and yoga pant company, which many organic brands tend to be. They have actual retail stores in California, but also sell on their website and through Amazon. Ethos Collection has also featured some of their clothing.

To be clear, I can't afford their clothes. I can't work much due to my illness and sensitivities, and my husband teaches at a state college. We're not rich, and our budget is limited. I won't be able to buy any of their clothing at normal price. They have had some incredible sales, though, making their clothing very affordable. When it comes to clothing, I'm very opportunistic. I only buy organic, so I only buy when it's on sale or clearance. I've been able to slowly build up a decent wardrobe that is *safe* for me to wear this way.

A few months ago Synergy had a special in which you paid $20 + shipping for one last-season article of clothing, but you didn't know what they would send you. I took the bait. They sent me this adorable summer dress (please excuse the poor lighting - it's the only full length mirror in the house and it's in the room with the worst lighting):

The dress is super cute and it's so me! The only problem is that I ordered it in a medium and it's about as tight as possible. Normally I'm between a small and medium, but after this experience I read some reviews and I learned that Synergy tends to run small.

I'm 5'5", between 135-140 lbs (I fluctuate a lot), and tend to be a size medium or size 8 in American sizes. According to their website size chart, I will fit a medium very snugly or a large a bit loosely. I'm right in between sizes, which is quite irritating to work with.

So this month they're having a fantastically massive sale. Except my sale was even better: until October 11th they took an extra 50% off the sale prices with a special promo code. It was the best organic sale I've ever seen. I'm sure they were losing money on it. I'm sure they're going to offer this type of sale again, so it might be worth signing up for their emails. I took the bait again, only I ordered everything in size large. I'm less impressed with the company after this recent purchase. Let me show you through pictures...

I thought I was buying this top:


I ended up with this:



I didn't think I was getting a dolman top. In fact, the model photo makes it appear that the cut is entirely different from what I got. I nearly returned this because I'm not a fan of dolman cut sleeves, but I decided to make it work for me since it was so inexpensive. It's a bit loose in some areas and a bit snug in others. I'm not sure how this would actually fit on someone carrying more weight than me - I'm very confused by the sizing. It looks a bit too big on me, but then when I reach my arms forward the cut of the sleeves pulls the back so much that it feels a bit snug. This was a disappointing buy. I would be curious to see how much different the medium would have been on me.



I thought I was buying this dress:


I ended up with this:




This dress is interesting. It did shrink in the wash. When I first pulled it out of the packaging and put it up next to me the length was down to my mid calf. Not exaggerating. This was LONG. After washing it shrunk to just under my knees. I have a long torso with short legs, generally wear a petite pant, so I expect dresses and skirts to be longer on my legs than intended. The skirt portion of the dress fits about right. I have large hips, so I tend to need roomy skirts and pants. The top portion of the dress is a little large, but not too big. It does not fit the way it does on the model. The edges of the long collar curls under itself all the way to the seam at my waist. It's not a flat edge as shown on the model. The shoulders are a little too roomy, but not so large it looks bad. I think I needed a medium top with a large bottom to this dress. Sigh. Part of that is my body is weird, but I think the company needs to alter its sizing.


I thought I was buying this tunic:


And I did get it:


Yay, this one has no issues! It's as expected! It is a little too large in the shoulders, but just barely. My only complaint was that it didn't come in green. I have a dress code at work of either solid green or solid black shirts. I've been looking for a green tunic, but oh well. I really love this top. A lot. It's super comfortable, is the right length to cover my generous hips for modesty sake, is a cute color, and is safe for my chemically sensitive body!

The pants:

The bootcut yoga pants I'm wearing in these photos are from Fisher's Finery. Click the link to go to the pants I bought. They're made from bamboo with organic cotton. They won't work for many of you because they do have spandex in them. They don't seem to bother me, thankfully. In this case I thought I was buying their charcoal color, but they sent me black. I typically don't wear black due to my light skin color - I just don't like black on me. Black dyes also tend to be the most irritating to people with sensitive skin. I wasn't happy about them sending me the wrong color, but I haven't reacted to them and they're incredibly comfortable, so I just kept them. I ordered a size up purposefully so that they wouldn't be skin tight. I didn't want them to show off my butt. As it turns out, the large is still form fitting and shows off my butt, but they don't feel tight against my skin. There is some give to them, which I like. They work perfectly with my new Synergy tunic. ;)  You can read my review on Amazon. 


So... in conclusion...
Overall I really like Synergy Organic Clothing. I think they're doing a wonderful thing by making GOTS certified organic cotton clothing in stylish feminine designs. They're countering the fast fashion industry with well-made clothing designed to last. The fabric should hold up, and the style will look good as time goes on. As someone with MCS I really appreciate this company making safe stylish clothing that is more affordable (even at full price) than many other organic clothing brands.

My only complaint is their sizing. Ideally, check them out at their California retail locations so that you can try on the clothes before you buy. I will hesitate to buy from them again simply due to the odd sizing, but if I can manage to loose another 10 lbs then I think all of their mediums will fit me (when losing 10 lbs would mean going down to a small in other brands, like PACT.)

I do recommend. Check them out! Just take careful measurements of your body before placing an order. :)


(Thank you, Mom, for taking the photos!) ;)