Monday, August 31, 2015

Adrenal Fatigue

I'm very surprised to find out that I haven't actually blogged about adrenal fatigue yet, as it's something I'm constantly contending with. This time, however, I won't write much. I came across this article that describes me perfectly, especially the part that describes the symptoms:

Symptoms of adrenal fatigue:
  • Morning fatigue -- You don't really seem to "wake up" until 10 a.m., even if you've been awake since 7 a.m.
  • Afternoon "low" (feelings of sleepiness or clouded thinking) from 2 to 4 p.m.
  • Burst of energy at 6 p.m. -- You finally feel better from your afternoon lull.
  • Sleepiness at 9 to 10 p.m. -- However, you resist going to sleep.
  • "Second wind" at 11 p.m. that lasts until about 1 a.m., when you finally go to sleep.
  • Cravings for foods high in salt and fat
  • Increased PMS or menopausal symptoms
  • Mild depression
  • Lack of energy
  • Decreased ability to handle stress
  • Muscular weakness
  • Increased allergies
  • Lightheadedness when getting up from a sitting or laying down position
  • Decreased sex drive
  • Frequent sighing
  • Inability to handle foods high in potassium or carbohydrates unless they're combined with fats and protein


Yes, this is me - especially the frequent sighing part. :) It also explains my low blood pressure and low blood sugar, digestive issues, and menstrual issues. The adrenal glands produce and regulate hormones, and when the adrenals can't properly work with hormones, naturally our hormones will act up.

Adrenal fatigue and chronic fatigue syndrome tend to go hand-in-hand in my experience, and yet they are not the same thing. While I believe that adrenal fatigue does feed my chronic fatigue, do I believe that there are other causes to my chronic fatigue for reasons I've stated throughout this blog.

This article explains that "nervous breakdowns" are symptomatic of or cause adrenal fatigue. Yes, I did have a "nervous breakdown" that occurred right before I became chronically ill. It was actually on the incredibly overwhelmingly stressful move from Idaho to North Dakota, when my truck was breaking down from carrying too much weight. I was stuck, all alone, in the middle of western Montana, scared to death, not wanting to even do the move. I completely broke down. Ever since then I've been unable to recover my energy.

What do I do for my adrenal fatigue? I have a great naturopathic doctor. Sure, you can buy all sorts of herbal adrenal supplements at your local health food store, many of them even contain the same herbs that I take, but I'm not a doctor or a physician. I'm not going to give advice on what herbs or remedies to take. Now that said, 2 years of healing with my doctor and I still have a lot of these symptoms. Do not expect to heal quickly. This article says that for severe cases it can take up to 2 years to heal from adrenal fatigue. I definitely need more time, but I've made a lot of progress.

http://foodmatters.tv/articles-1/treating-chronic-fatigue-and-adrenal-fatigue-naturally




I can suggest lifestyle changes that have helped me a ton:

- Avoid caffeine!
- Avoid sugar!
- Avoid all stress, even if that means quitting your job. Stress will keep attacking your adrenal glands, preventing them from healing and possibly making them even worse. I couldn't work for almost 2 years. If I would have kept working, I couldn't heave healed. Getting away from all stress is an investment in your ability to work in the future.
- Get as much rest as possible. I have no shame in the fact that I've laid in bed for hours watching Hulu, playing my Nintendo DS, or reading. It makes me feel a lot better.
- Exercise enough to keep your circulation strong and to feel good, not enough to wear you out. I like to go for a 2.5 mile walk most days.
- Get acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, and massages. These are very healing therapies, but they also are very relaxing. They will help eliminate stress.
- Spend time in the sun, which is very relaxing and invigorating.
- Do not ever "beat yourself up." It isn't your fault that you're sick.
- Pray. Let God heal you. Let him take your stress from you. Let him relax you and comfort you. Do not push him away. Do not get angry at him. If you resist him, you're holding onto stress unnecessarily. Even if you don't believe in God, try giving up your stress to him anyway - just the "letting go" will help.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Admitting the Problems

I want to write, but I'm not feeling focused at all. I've decided to let this post be my outlet of complaints about my struggles, but I don't want it to just be about me. Leave me comments, either here, Facebook, or Google+. Let's all pitch in and share our struggles. Sometimes what we need more than anything else is affirmations from others that what we are going through is horrible - that chronic illness and poor health is miserable and we all struggle with it uniquely. So please, join with me. Let's vent. I want to hear your struggles too!


1. Tea/ Caffeine. I LOVE green tea. I would drink it exclusively throughout the day if I could. The problem is, I'm very sensitive to caffeine. One mug of green tea is all I need to carry me through a 4-5 hour shift at work as if I'm a normal human being without chronic fatigue. If I drank a cup every day, like I want to, my adrenals would never heal, I'd never be able to truly rest, and I'd probably struggle even more with sleep. So I have to drink Yogi's organic decaf green tea on days that I don't work. It tastes half as good, and I know it's not as good for me. :(


2. PMS. I've rarely had mood problems with PMS my whole life. I would get horrible acne, bloating, sugar cravings, and inflammation, but my mood wasn't affected much outside of making me tired. The last two months have been totally opposite for me. It was PMS from hell both months. I found myself so angry for no reason that I couldn't hold a light conversation with people. I was raging in my dreams to the point that my anger woke me up in tears. I couldn't enjoy doing anything. Everything I did, even things I normally love, irritated the heck out of me. It wasn't possible to be me. I've had very little acne on my face, but weirdly, I've been getting it on my arms and legs. I was bloating a lot, but mostly in my breasts and not my gut - ouch! Last month my sugar cravings were really hard to combat, but this month I didn't have cravings at all. My body has become horribly unpredictable. Hormones! I never used to respect them since I didn't understand them, now I have a ton of respect for them since I understand their power.


3. Money. Yes, money. If we had enough, my problems could be solved. I wouldn't have to work, I could spend a lot more on treatments, I wouldn't feel constant suppressing damaging stress, we could buy a house without any MCS triggers, I could get away from the city and order all of my groceries online to be delivered, I could build a garden and raise a couple of cows for my meat, I could... wait. I'm just dreaming now. But seriously, MONEY. It's the reason I have to work, which definitely is ruining my ability to heal. It's the reason for 90% of my stress, which preventing me from healing. But what can I do when I don't qualify for disability (it's way too expensive to even try anyway)?


4. Responsibility. Responsibility outside of making money, that is. I'm really struggling to keep up. For instance, I failed to remember to renew my truck's registration and I was expired for about a month. I can hardly keep up with house cleaning. My poor birds didn't have clean cages for about 2 weeks. It's just too much for me! I'm not joking when I tell people I need a few days of doing nothing. I just can't create the energy to spend on everything that needs work. I give about 80% of my energy to my job, and the rest of my energy I need for cooking and buying food.

Staying on this topic, I just want to lament a bit. When I was in college I had no trouble at all staying on top of homework and classes, even as a full time student with a part time job. I even had the energy to survive all of this and go through a very rough and depressing break-up. I had the energy to get married and be a full time student with a part time job. And hang out with friends. And play video games. I was normal, and I thought nothing of it. Today, this would be impossible. I'd be in the hospital from being overspent after just one day. My life is behind me - what I'm experiencing now hardly feels like "me" at all.


5. The realization that I still don't fit in with the world. When I started working again a few months ago, I had the strong attitude of "I will do this on my terms." I didn't really have a choice, it was either on my terms or not at all, because I would get very sick if I did it any other way. I've never been like this before. Those of you who have worked with me before I broke down and got sick will remember that I was always flexible, open to change, responded very well to rules and orders, and willing to do whatever it took. My natural personality says to still be this way, but I can't be. I must protect my health at all costs. So getting "my way" means clashing with others. It means being demanding, controlling, and resistant. I hate being this way. It's not "me." I create a lot of stress from trying to always stay in control of every situation.


6. The realization that I'm not in control of my situation. I really need control in order to protect my health, but the truth is that I have very little. Customers reeking of perfume or cigarette smoke still walk in the door at work. The smoke in the air from the wild fires out west are hard on my health, but it also traps perfumes and laundry fragrances in the air, making the air quality outside especially hazardous for me. I don't always have access to the food I need, and my needs are specific. My body does what it wants to even when I do everything right. I can get hit with fatigue even after lots of rest and eating and supplementing perfectly. My PMS can be out of control even when I didn't change anything. My legs can cramp up without provocation. I'm not in control at all. I'm constantly responding to every situation to make it as good as possible.


7. I don't even know what I love to do anymore. If I had energy, I would love to sew my own clothes again. If I had energy, I would love to finish writing a novel I've started. If I had energy, I would work out every day and create a rockin' body. If I had energy, I'd probably become a Faith Formation teacher at church. If I had energy, I'd love to maintain a big garden. If I had energy, I'd probably go back to school to become a health coach. If I had energy, I'd work more so my husband could work less. If I had money and energy, I'd travel a lot more often with my husband. But since I don't have energy and money, what do I love to do? I know that I love to lose myself in a great story, whether it's a book, manga, video game, TV show, movie... whatever. But that's not exactly doing. What do I love to do with the energy I do have? I don't know. I'm bored pretty often, but I just accept it and play video games, because frankly, I'm struggling to change it. I'm struggling to find the energy to actually do. I've already given up on my great life goal: having and raising children. When will this ever happen? My husband and I are getting older, and I see years of recovery ahead of me.


Okay, your turn!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

How to sleep through the night with mosquito bites

I think I broke... again. My blood sugar and pressure have been too low all week, and now that a storm is coming in I'm getting worse. I cannot see straight unless I sit still. The dizziness is strong with me. I figured I might as well write a post if I'm going to sit still at my computer for a while. :)



The night before last I hardly slept at all because my mosquito bites were way too itchy - painfully itchy! Every time I moved the sheets rubbed a bite and the pain woke me back up. I tried aloe vera, vinegar, and peppermint essential oils throughout the night to calm the itching. They all worked... until I moved and rubbed the bite against the sheet again. I did, however, sleep really well last night. I figured out a great solution!

You will need:
- As many bandages as bites.
- Raw organic apple cider vinegar.
- Calcium Clay (I used this one.)

Mix the vinegar with the clay in a non-metal container (metal weakens the clay.) I used 1/4th the amount of vinegar to clay, which created a thick paste. I dabbed this paste on to the bandage in a heap, then applied the bandage over the bite.

The vinegar calms the bite and the clay draws the toxins out of it. It's a beautiful combo!

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Take Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Seriously, Becuase it is Serious.

If you have chronic fatigue, you may hear responses like this from others who don't understand:

"Oh, you're tired? You should try to get more sleep."

"You shouldn't be tired since you slept all night."

"Oh come on, drink some coffee and let's get to work!"

"Can't you work on something that doesn't take much energy? You're wasting your life just laying there."

"Are you ever going to not be tired?"

"Why are you so lazy?"

"You should go to a doctor and fix the problem. Go get your health back."

"You know what your problem is? You don't eat sugar. How do you expect to have energy if you don't eat sugar?"

...and I could keep going. I've heard all of these, and more. And explaining myself so often makes me more and more exhausted.


So I want to clear this up. I don't expect those of you without chronic fatigue syndrome to understand the condition after reading this, but I hope it helps you learn compassion and patience with those of us who suffer it.

From my personal experience, I've determined that...


...Being tired is not the same thing as being fatigued.
Feeling tired means you need rest and sleep. It can mean you're hungry, it can mean you didn't get enough sleep, it can also mean you've spend all your energy already and need to rest to make more. Everyone feels tired. It's a normal, healthy human thing. If you've never felt tried, you're probably not human.

Fatigue means a loss of strength, a loss of mental energy, and a loss of physical energy. A tired person can still function normally, just more slowly and lazily. A fatigued person cannot function normally. It may be impossible for a person with severe fatigue to even walk on their own. A moderately fatigued person might be able to walk, but not far and probably can't think about what they're doing while walking. Rest isn't usually enough to recover from fatigue.

Feeling tired is like your battery being at 50% power. You have to recharge to recover energy so you can get back to work for hours upon hours. Recharging is all you need to get better.

Feeling fatigued is like your battery being at critically low power and you must recharge now or shut down completely. When fatigued, it's impossible to keep going - there's no battery power left to work with. The problem is, recharging isn't enough. It will help you gain back maybe 10-20% power, because you can't hold very much power anymore. You're like an old cell phone that has to be recharged after every phone call. A fatigued person has to be very picky about what he or she spends limited energy on, and then spend the rest of the day recharging so that they can spend limited energy on something new later on.

Chronic fatigue syndrome is extremely debilitating. In fact, it's so debilitating that this Danish study suggests that it affects quality of life more than any other chronic illness.





...And there's more to Chronic Fatigue than just the fatigue.
Fatigue affects the entire body, not just energy levels. It means blurred vision, poor circulation, ringing in the ears or loss of hearing, poor memory and concentration, aches and pains, slurred speech, and more. Organs, glands, and all your body parts require energy to function properly. If the brain can't get enough energy, of course it'll work poorly. If the stomach can't get enough energy, it's not going to digest very well. If the muscles can't get enough energy, they're not going to move well.

Friday evening, after working 3 long hard days in a row, I seriously considered going to the hospital. My throat and tongue were swollen up and I had a hard time talking and eating. My vision was very bad and my muscle tension was extreme. I had terrible insomnia the last two nights because my body was desperate for energy to keep me alive. I had to take 3x the amount of herbal sleeping pills that I normally take, and it still took me hours to fall asleep.





So next time someone complains about having chronic fatigue, don't offer them a cup of coffee. It won't help - it gives a boost now, but actually causes worse fatigue later from the crash. Help them accomplish their task so they don't have to spend all of their limited energy on it.

I have spent my whole weekend at the mercy of my fatigue. I overspent myself on Thursday and Friday at work, and now I have to spend my days doing as little as possible so that all my energy can go to healing my body. I nearly fainted at church this morning, and I actually regret going because it made me more fatigued. I need to recover so I can make it through work this week. I've discovered my limit of how many hours I can handle at work. If it wasn't super ridiculously busy on Thursday I probably would have been okay and wouldn't be so fatigued now, but I can't know how busy we'll get.




...But wait, I have chronic fatigue and I'm working? How is that possible? Yes. If you read my previous post about working with MCS, you'll see that I actually didn't work for 2 years. It would have been impossible, as my fatigue was too strong all of the time. I've recovered enough where I have enough energy to work for 12-15 hours a week. It has depleted me on occasion, but I can do it. My fear is that I won't be able to regain much more energy than I already have. 2 years of full-time healing has only brought me to this level. Which is incredible, as I started out totally bed-ridden. I've made a ton of progress with my health, and yet I'm still very weak compared to the average healthy person. Sigh. But I hold on to hope, and I'll do whatever I need to in order to continue healing.

So please. Take Chronic Fatigue seriously. Don't assume they're over exaggerating. Don't assume they're simply not taking care of themselves. Don't assume that they're lazy. Don't assume that they're supposed to be able to function as well as you. Chronic fatigue steals a person's energy, and makes living very difficult. Don't be one of the difficulties.




I also want to point out the possibility that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is an auto-immune disease. The medical communities haven't agreed on this, but there's enough research showing that it acts like an auto-immune disease. If someone told you they have an auto-immune disease making them weak, would you take them more seriously than if they told you they have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?

Friday, July 24, 2015

How I Work With MCS

One of the most common questions I get is: "How are you able to work when you have MCS?"

The answer: "I didn't work for about 1 3/4 years because I couldn't. I'm working now because I got well enough to."

3 years ago I took a job that I was really interested in and wanted. I lasted for 1 year at the job before I had to quit because I was too sick to manage it. I tell this story in more detail in this post.
I quit that job just after I had my first appointment with my naturopathic doctor. After hearing his assessment about my health, I admitted to myself that I really did need to devote myself to full time healing. I wasn't making money during this time, and my doctor bills have been expensive. I relied 100% on my husband to support me, which wasn't fair to him at all since he ended up needing to work well beyond full time hours. This has been a major cause of stress. If I had continued to work, however, I likely would have been fired at some point. As I explained in the post that I linked to above, I could hardly look people in the eye and talk intelligently - I was not able to function like a normal healthy person most of the time. What choice did I have?

If I wasn't able to rely 100% on my husband during that time, it would have become a serious challenge, if not impossibility. A challenge that far too many chronically ill people face. I might have tried to fight for disability, but getting disability requires an expensive legal battle that usually lasts years.

I could have tried to take a lesser part time job and prayed that I could have handled it. But it wouldn't have worked out. Why? What I didn't know at the time was that a big part of my problem was Multiple Chemical Sensitives. I was too sick back then to know what all my symptoms meant, and I was essentially in a constant reaction. I did feel better at home than at work, and I assumed it was the stress of being at work that make me feel worse. Looking back, I was present when pesticides were being sprayed in our office, harsh cleaners were used on the carpets, automatic air fresheners were installed in the bathrooms, new ink was installed in the printers, etc. I was present around a lot of routine toxins. Toxins that I never used in my house. Any other lesser job would have kept me exposed to similar chemical toxins.

I have been incredibly blessed to have my hard-working husband supporting me through all this sickness. No other scenario would have allowed me to not work so I could heal. To those of you with chronic illness who are forced to work and stay very sick, live in poverty without medical help, and suffer financially due to your illness, my heart goes out to you. It's a wonder you continue fighting for your life. Someday when I'm healthy and rich, I'm going to start some sort of benefit fund for the chronically sick who can't get help. I want to do what I can to make the world a more hospitable place for the chronically sick.

It took close to a year of full time healing before my doctor was able to see that I have MCS. I had other health concerns, of course, but MCS made perfect sense. I'd been highly reactive my entire life, especially as a child. I've had a lot of food allergies, couldn't tolerate many medicines doctors had tried to put me on, many things caused me headaches (especially gray crayons,) and I regularly had unexplained eczema or rashes. At some point, my MCS did explode into something much worse. I got very sick (even got a sinus infection) from simply being in a Staples. I got dizzy with heartburn going into my church building. I went into a rage with harsh heart palpations in a JC Penny, later to have rashes all over. And so on and so forth. I had these reaction symptoms nearly every day for the year I was working, and they gradually became worse and worse. MCS makes perfect sense for what I went through.

It's been just under a year now of addressing MCS directly, but almost 2 years of healing my whole body from all its issues, and I've made a huge improvement. My doctor is amazing! But I've also put a lot of work into my healing.


How I, over time, worked up to being able to work my 12-15 hour/ week job:

1. I was spending as much time as I needed dedicating myself to healing my entire body, not just MCS. I highly doubt my MCS would have calmed down if I didn't focus on improving my overall health. You can't rush healing. It takes years to get this sick, it's going to take years to get better.

2. I stuck religiously to my doctor's diet for me. I made a few mistakes here and there, but I always suffered the consequences. My body has been incredibly picky about what food it will tolerate. I had no idea that my "clean organic" diet that I was eating before seeing my doctor was causing so many of my heath issues. It's not just about eating organic whole foods, it's about eating the right foods. As it turns out, I have no tolerance for grains, starches, sugars, alcohol, or dairy. I don't even tolerate brassica vegetables that well, but I will actually eat them in small amounts on occasion. Cutting out all the foods that I wasn't tolerating decreased my stress, improved my mental clarity, reduced the size of my gut, reduced the pain in my gut, reduced my inflammation, and allowed me actually gain energy from the food I could eat. Diet is so so so crucial!

3. I've been taking, and still take, my doctor's supplements and herbs. They're expensive, it's hard to take the 56+ pills a day, and my daily schedule gets tied to my ability to take them when I need to... but they have been worth it. They do help a lot. I have to heal all my organs which have become very fatigued and weak. The supplements are working for this. When organs such as the liver and kidneys aren't working well, they can't detox well. When they're overrun with toxins that they're too fatigued to push out, chemical sensitives only get stronger and stronger.

4. I've been taking my doctor's homeopathic remedy for MCS as well as his pills for MCS. I can't tell you what the remedy is - I just know it's made a big difference for me. I can tell you that taking his N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine and Reduced Glutathione have been, by far, the most helpful pills for MCS. I take 3 of each a day, but if I'm about to go somewhere with potential triggers (such as church or a store) then I'll take an extra one or two of each before going in. Glutathione is the body's natural antioxidant. N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine is the amino acid that's the precursor to glutathione, boosting natural glutathione production in the body. This antioxidant is very effective at cleaning toxins out of the body - the very toxins that cause reactions.

5. I get treatments. My doctor's clinic is set up with several treatments that promote healing. I do as many of them as I can afford. Each of them have provided me with a lot of relief.  http://humannaturenaturalhealth.com/treatments

6. I give myself a couple of "treatments" at home. I invested in a portable Far Infrared Sauna, which causes me to sweat profusely, meaning my skin is pushing out a ton of toxins. I also take detox baths that promote sweating and restore some minerals in my body. I use my acupressure mat very often. 

7. I regularly visit my local chiropractor and acupuncturist. (My naturopathic doctor would do these for me, but he's in a different state and I travel to see him.) I cannot emphasis enough how helpful adjustments are - they free up the nerves in your spine that go to your organs, helping the nerves to function properly so the organs can function well. Acupuncture has been incredibly beneficial to me as well, and I notice that my body slows down and reacts more harshly to things when I go a while without acupuncture.

8. I'm addressing a systemic candida overgrowth infection. Candida can cause or intensify MCS, as the candida yeast feeds on the chemical toxins. I haven't written much about this yet, but I still plan to. The candida cleanse I'm on is a big part of the reason why I haven't blogged much lately. It's taking a lot out of me.

9. I avoid as much stress as possible. I avoid as many triggers as possible. I allow my body to stay as calm as possible as often as possible. This meant installing an reverse osmosis filter on my kitchen sink, getting rid of all of my polyester clothes and blankets and replacing them with natural fabrics, replacing plastic in my kitchen with a safe substance (like glass, stainless steel, cast iron, or bamboo,) switching to only fragrance-free soaps and cleaners in my house, hiring an organic lawn care company with a safer product, hiring someone to clean the mold out of our house, and so on and so forth. It also means I no longer eat out too. I've had to alter a lot about the way I live my life in order to avoid triggers. It's a major challenge, but it's been absolutely necessary to avoid as many triggers as possible.

10. Once I felt ready and capable, I spent months searching for job openings at businesses that would have the least amounts of triggers. I found a few places in town that I can be in without getting sick, or at least not too sick. When one of them announced a job opening, I applied right away in person and tried to make a good impression. I actually ended up with a couple of offers, so I was able to choose the job that offered the least amount of hours with the most respect to my health condition, knowing I simply didn't have the energy for more than 15 hours a week. The job I chose is at a natural health products store. It's small, locally owned, and doesn't attract stinky customers that I can't be around without getting sick. The store itself is quite nice and sells foods and supplements I already knew enough about, but is challenging me to learn a lot more, which I love. The learning curve was small, it's usually a relaxed atmosphere, and it's not too often that there are stinky triggers in the store. It also keeps me on my feet moving, as opposed to at a computer all day, which would make me worse.


How I deal with triggers on the job:
This is harder to answer, but the fact is that I rely on all the healing tactics I do at home. The more I take care of myself, keeping myself clean, detoxing/ sweating regularly, makes it so I can tolerate more triggers with less harsh reactions. When I first took the job, I couldn't use the Sharpie pens without holding my breath. I got immediate headaches from them. Now I can actually use them for  a short period of time without holding my breath. I'm not sure why. Did I build up a tolerance, or is it because I'm using my sauna more and taking more baths than before I started working?

There have been a couple of times when a heavily perfumed customer needs my help. In one instance I was able to have a co-worker help that customer instead of me. I just politely said "My co-worker is better able to help you with this than I am, would you mind waiting a moment and I'll have her come help you?" In the other instance, I spent the least amount of time with the customer as possible and then ran back to the break room and took a few glutathione pills. My headache, fever, heart palpitations, and gut ache calmed down in about an hour. The truly amazing part is that I did manage to help her and was able to continue working through the reaction - that's how much I've healed!

But it did get to the point two days ago where I had to go home early from getting too sick. I wasn't feeling well all day anyway as I was overly exhausted and I was suffering some abnormally bad PMS (I'm on a new anti-fungal for my candida that is quite strong,) but then it hit me like a brick wall. I had no idea what was causing the reaction, but I got hit with an anxiety attack so strong that I had to leave. I was losing control. Once I got outside and started walking to my car I found the source: one single train cart was stopped on the train tracks right behind our parking lot. It was puffing out clouds of black smoke, which the wind carried right towards the store, and me. I didn't feel much better until the next morning, so it took the majority of the day and night to recover from that one.


In conclusion:
Healing is VERY hard work! It requires a lot of time, a lot of dedication, a lot of faith, a lot of money, and a lot of self-love. I always treated myself as "worth it." If I didn't, if I would have assumed that my life wasn't worth saving because I was a leech to society, I wouldn't have gotten better. I had to believe that God was keeping me alive for a reason, and that with enough work and medical help that I could live up to His will for me.

If you're suffering with MCS, looking for answers, I hope this blog has helped you, not discouraged you. I never looked at my healing process in the big picture. It would have overwhelmed me and scared me - I would have assumed it was too much for me to handle considering how fatigued I was! I always took it one step at a time, doing what I needed to at every moment. Before I knew it, I made a lot of progress!

I also want to stress that what has been working for me may not be what works for you. What causes MCS in one person may not be the cause in another person. There are other people who have had success healing from MCS who have used different approaches. I encourage you to read other MCS blogs, talk to natural doctors, and learn your own body. But don't give up. Don't give in. MCS might rule your life, but you can find a good life within the confines of MCS.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Back to Work

It's been about a month since my last post. This just goes to show how fatigued I've been, that I've been avoiding my computer in favor of laying on the couch doing nothing but resting.

I started working a few months ago, just 12-15 hours a week. This might sound like nothing to most people. When I was regularly working 45-50 hours a week about 3 years ago I would have scoffed at the fact that I'd be reduced to this in only a few years time. Right now this feels like a lot of hours. For a year and a half I wasn't working. I was barely working at the last job I had as a secretary, and quit before I got fired for being too sick. The fact that I'm managing to work these few hours is really impressive to me, considering all I've been though.

But I'm tired. For a while I was able to spend my limited energy on my blog, my Zazzle store, and my writing. Now I'm storing up my energy, spending it at work, and coming home and resting a lot. I'm finding that I'm playing more video games than usual, and I'm struggling to read novels again. I'm turning back to graphic novels and manga because they're much easier to read. My brain is just this tired.

My legs feel heavy, my arms feel stiff, my back is aching, and my feet feel like bricks. I haven't done an actual work out since I started my job. I've gone for my 2 mile walks on occasion, but no weight lifting or Xbox Fitness. No Tai Chi. My job keeps me on my feet the whole time, which is one of the main reasons I chose it. I knew that if I chose a desk job that I'd only make myself worse. But my job has become my work out. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or not - it just is what it is, and I think that's okay.

I'm not complaining. Yes, the job is causing my body troubles, but the fact that I'm working is absolutely amazing! Yes, it's putting me back on the fatigue roller coaster, when for a while I was finally starting to feel even/ stable most of the time, but I'm probably more active now than I was before I started working. And I hope that's actually a good thing.

There's nothing like battling chronic fatigue, or as they now call it, Myalgic Encephalopathy.

There's especially nothing like battling CFS/ ME and candida and adrenal fatigue and digestive issues and Chemical Sensitives while trying to pay the bills, have a healthy marriage, and keep friends. But I can be thankful for the fact that I'm no longer also dealing with fibromyalgia! That's gone. Thank goodness! Because when fibromyaliga was in the mix, there was no such thing as paying the bills, keeping my husband happy, or having friends.

I'm exhausted. But pretty soon my cup of Numi Organic Japanese Green Tea will kick in, give me more adrenaline than I can handle, and I'll be zipping around like a healthy person... until the caffeine wears out. And here is the problem. Caffeine definitely affects my adrenals negatively, but without the caffeine, I may not be an effective employee. My natural energy spurts don't always come when I need them. In fact, they tend to come as I'm trying to fall asleep at night. Frustration!

But it's worth it. Having some sense of "normal" in my life is making a big difference. I'm no longer isolated from people. I'm forced to participate in the world again. I can't wallow in my own problems when I'm around others. I get to spend my limited energy on people, who for the most part, are worth spending my energy on.

My fear lies in the fact that I'm not keeping enough energy to spend on myself for my own healing. Traditional Chinese Medicine teaches that we heal with our left over energy. Well, what left over energy? My hope is that I will continue to grow my energy so that I'll have more to spend on my own healing.

If a plane crashes into our house and kills me... well, I wouldn't complain. That said, I have no intention of living my life waiting for that plane to crash into my house. I'm going to spend my life making the best of my time before I die a hopefully more natural and peaceful death. I feel like this goal is possible now, whereas a year ago I would have welcomed death, as I had no energy to make the best of life. 


Those of you with MCS who read my blog:
You're probably questioning how I'm able to work with MCS. I want to write about this soon. In short, I don't recommend it if your MCS reactions are debilitating. I chose a job at a place that doesn't have me constantly reacting, and I'm able to simple just walk away from the majority of things that do cause me to react. My reactions are so much less severe than they used to be, and my wonderful naturopathic doctor has me on a few things that are helping me survive our synthetic world. I have done a lot of healing work, which hasn't been easy, and it's helping me dramatically. A year ago I wouldn't have tolerated this job - it would have given me debilitating reactions. Then again, a year ago I was basically in a constant reaction and had no idea that it was a reaction I was experiencing.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

How I Avoid Plastic

I've made it very clear throughout this blog that plastic is a hazard. It's endocrine disruptive, doesn't biodegrade, is being eaten by fish that we later eat, etc. But looking around, plastic is everywhere! I haven't been able to go 100% plastic free, but I have reduced most of the plastic in my life. I'm also not sure I want to be 100% plastic free. I like my keyboard, computer monitor, mouse, phone, etc. My problem is with single use plastic (like straws,) plastic on our skin (like clothing,) and plastic used to store food.

Here are my solutions so far:

1. Water Bottles
I invested in a few glass and stainless steel water bottles. Two of the ones I purchased are this glass bottle and this insulated stainless steel bottle (for hot or cold liquids.) Both of my glass water bottles are protected with a sleeve or silicone cover. I've put them to the test, putting them in rough situations, and they have not broken. 

2. Water Filters
I installed a reverse osmosis water filter at my kitchen sink and stored the Brita pitcher away. I fill my glass and stainless steel water bottles with the RO water, which is delicious! Now, don't get me wrong, it's better to use a Brita pitcher than no filter. The Brita will filter out the harmful chlorine from your water. Even though it's storing the water in plastic, plastic is the greatest threat when it's heated. Don't heat your Brita! There are numerous reasons why an RO filter is a much better filtering method (and not much more expensive,) but a Brita is better than nothing.

3. Toothbrush
I searched high and low for non-plastic toothbrushes. What I found is that there aren't many options. I also found that there are natural teeth cleaning products that do not use a toothbrush, claiming that toothbrushes are too abrasive. I'm not linking to these products here because I'm not familiar enough with them to suggest them. I still wanted a toothbrush.

I only found two on the market that that are totally petroleum plastic free. One is made from vegetable plastics, the other from recycled materials, such as wood or paper currency.  There are, however, many toothbrushes that have non-plastic handles with nylon (plastic) bristles. There are also several that use boar hair bristles with plastic handles. I have no idea why I can't find a toothbrush with a natural handle and boar hair bristles. This makes no sense to me. Apparently even natural brands buy into the theory that nylon bristles are simply the best. I disagree, because the bristles are tiny bits of plastic that will never biodegrade. Tiny plastic is the most dangerous against wildlife.

I did try natural boar bristle toothbrushes, sourced from very well-treated boars who were not hurt in the process. What I quickly found out is that they are softer than nylon. A "medium" natural bristle is equivalent to a "soft" nylon bristle. I was unable to find any "hard" natural bristle brushes. They cleaned well for about a week, then the bristles started to bend and loose their shape. It's my fault, because I tend to be a scrubber. The point, though, is that they do work!

4. Clothing
This one is easy: Simply stop buying clothing with polyester, nylon, acrylic, or spandex. All of these fabrics are made from petroleum-based plastics.

Okay, not as easy as it should be. You will most likely pay more for your clothing by avoiding plastic clothes. You also may need to get creative about where you shop. I have had great luck with TJMaxx, as they've often had organic cotton, hemp, wool, and bamboo clothing. They've occasionally even had some non-organic 100% cotton clothes. I'm starting to find that I really need to buy my clothes online to ensure I get what I need. I can find good deals on Amazon.com, SierraTradingPost.com, and Rodales.com, but I've also found that sometimes it's best to order directly from the company that makes the clothes. WearPact.com offers free shipping on only a $25 purchase!

I admit that due to the difficulty of finding affordable non-plastic clothing, I will buy natural fiber clothing with added spandex. Sometimes, that's all that's available. For instance, I wear Pact's organic cotton underwear, but it does have about 5% spandex added (and the band is elastic.) But, what choice do I have? Hanes has 100% cotton underwear... with added chemicals (anti-bacterials, fabric stiffeners, etc) and non-natural dyes. No thanks. (You might be just fine with their underwear, but these things can make my skin itchy - I'm sensitive!)

5. Trash Bags
This one is really really hard. It's also probably the most important one to change! We put our biodegradable trash inside non-biodegradable containers. Then we send it off to the landfills, which are growing bigger and bigger. We're running out of room to put our trash, and those landfills won't shrink as long as we keep putting plastic into them. Plastic never goes away.

But what's the alternative to a petroleum-based plastic trash bag? Either a biodegradable bag or a compostable bag. Both of these should be great options, but they're not good for everyone. Biodegradable bags biodegrade. Sometimes too quickly - as in, while you're trying to use it as a trash can liner. Sometimes you can't finish a roll of biodegradable bags because they started to biodegrade before you even pulled it off the roll. There are a few brands claiming they've fixed this, but until the reviews are better, I hesitate to invest in them. They're expensive bags! The problem with compostable bags are that not everyone can compost (I can't do it where I live.) The other problem is that the bags are very flimsy. They rip, tear, and fall apart pretty easily, meaning they can't take much weight. These bags are good for small trash cans that get emptied often. They're not so good in your standard 13 gallon kitchen trash can.

So what is the solution? Reduce the amount of trash you create, recycle as much as possible, and try to make one of those eco trash bags work. Or, if all of your trash is dry, you can use paper bags from the grocery store. I know that some people use cloth liners in their cans, then washing the cloth every time it gets emptied. Our city wouldn't like that, though, as they ask all residents to use plastic bags for their garbage so that the trash isn't loose. I don't have another solution.

I currently am working on finishing a box of Seventh Generation trash bags. They're made from recycled plastic, which is only slightly better than new plastic. The reason I went with them is because my husband and I create so little trash. We fill our can about once every week and a half to two weeks, and it's often filled with what the vacuum cleaner picks up. I don't think a biodegradable or compostable bag would work for us because they'd both start to break down before the bag is full.

6. Food Storage

This one is easier than you'd think. Glass, stainless steel, unbleached parchment paper, and aluminum foil all work well as alternatives. I've purchased these glass storage containers from TJMaxx and Big Lots for $6 for 3. New Wave Enviro has a few different stainless steel food containers available. Buy nut butters in glass jars and reuse the jars. Use mason jars.

But what about replacing the Ziplock bag? What I found was that I was seriously over using ziplock bags. I could use glass or stainless steel for 85% of the things I was using them for. For the other 15% of the time, I've learned to wash the ziplock bags and reuse them OR switch to cloth bags. That said, be careful not to reuse them too many times. The more they get washed, the more chemicals the plastic releases. I try to get a 2-3 uses per bag. The main thing I use Ziplock Bags for now is to freeze food. For instance, the only way for me to get organic asparagus in this town is to buy a frozen case of it. Each box I open doesn't reseal. I've been using the same Ziplock bag for this asparagus for close to a year now. I never wash it because it stays frozen all the time.

7. Menstrual Products
I've already written on this subject here and here.

The quick answer is this: Switch to a menstrual cup or use cloth pads. There is no reason to use disposable products. If you're going to a third world country without clean water to sanitize these products in, there are organic cotton tampons and pads without the added dyes and chemicals.

8. Shaving
I also already wrote about this here.

The quick answer is this: Metal safety razors not only use zero plastic, they work better than plastic razors!

9. Body Care Products and Cleaning Products
This is where it starts to get tricky. Want a bottle of shampoo? It comes in plastic. Want a window cleaner? It comes in plastic. Want liquid body wash? It comes in plastic. You get the idea. While many companies do package their products in glass or metal, such as many Badger Balm products, most use plastic.

Solving this problem requires lifestyle changes - changes that many people may not be comfortable with. But it is possible, and very liberating! There's no need to be a slave to all the products that line the shelf at the store. That said, I still buy several products that come in a plastic bottle. Why? Because I'm making my changes one step at a time. I really don't feel like making liquid bubble bath at home, and it's so much easier to just buy it and recycle the plastic container (I know, I know... there's a good chance it won't actually get recycled since recycling centers are overloaded.)

This topic requires a post to itself, as there's a lot to say. Some quick suggestions are:
-Try out soap nuts for washing your dishes, clothes, and body.
-Clean with white vinegar (you can buy it in glass jars!) It's especially great for glass, but it disinfects any surface.
-Buy or make shampoo as a bar.
-Buy soap as a bar without packaging (Sappo Hills is found in many health food stores and never comes wrapped.)
-Use baking soda to clean when you need extra scrubbing power.



...And I'm out of time! While there is more than can be said about reducing the plastic in your life, I wrote this as a way to get the conversation started. I'm challenging you to think in non-plastic ways. It's a challenging topic, but the more consumers avoid plastic by voting with our dollars, the more companies will listen. We can reduce plastic pollution in our world. We have the power.

I would like to bring your attention, again, to my friend's project in India. Please support him. Every little bit helps! His plan will reduce the plastic pollution in India by turning the plastic into roofs:
https://kriticalmass.com/p/ecoblocks