Earlier this week I wrote a post about how uncertain my future is. The very next day my husband lost his job because the university he teaches at will be closing. We thought maybe a department or two would close. No, the entire university is closing. They announced this with a sliver of hope, saying if they raise $6 million by Tuesday they can save it. They said may be able to continue as an online-only school. They said this, but they also sent an email terminating all employees and another to help students transfer to other universities.
This is not surprising because the school was in bad condition, and we had too many signs that it was failing. We were starting to believe that he might get to work there one more year, however, because this announcement is coming at the end of the school year, after all the student transfer deadlines. The jobs at other universities have already been filled for next year. It's too late for anyone to plan. The university claimed they made the announcement this late because they were hopeful that a significant donation was coming to them, but the donation fell through and they will not receive it. That's fine, but they should have been transparent. They should have been giving the state of the university throughout the whole year. They were dead silent. In fact, they even hired a professor a few months ago, who moved here and bought a house that she won't get to live in now. It's unconscionable, disrespectful, and morally corrupt of them to treat all their faculty, staff, and students this way.
This means that my husband is scrambling to find a job. He has been applying for new jobs all year long, and even had interviews that were very promising. The trouble is that universities across the nation are closing in very high numbers, so the amount of professors and graduates applying for the same jobs is staggering. He's competing against 200+ applicants for any low-paying job that pops up. Higher education is falling apart rapidly. Between the demographic cliff (too few 18 year olds because our birth rate has plummeted), the extreme high cost of education, and very low salaries... higher education isn't an attractive option anymore. It's actually a very risky option, because there is no guarantee that a degree will help anyone earn enough money to pay off the cost of the degree and keep a roof over their head at the same time.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/careersandeducation/the-decline-of-the-college-educated-american-man/ar-AA1yUqcI?ocid=msedgntp&pc=U531&cvid=ad27872cfce64626892ef3954d422e2a&ei=31
So this leaves me in quite the dilemma: Should I stay or should I go?
My husband has a couple of job opportunities he could take, but they don't pay well enough to support us both. They both require moving to cities nearby where rent is quite a bit more expensive. My disability and part-time job income will not help enough. He has his doctorate, he qualifies for jobs that require it, but they don't pay enough to cover basic living expenses. If I join him wherever he goes, I think we'll have to rent a very small and cheap apartment that won't allow my pet birds or even have room to keep half of what we own. There are many problems with a cheap apartment for my health: I can't use shared laundry machines, the smell of other people's fragrances will drift into the apartment and make me sick, I would have to live in noise-canceling headphones, they tend to be moldy and don't get proper repairs, and so on... am I entitled? I don't know, but I do know that my health can't handle it.
I also have the option of separating from him by moving back in with my parents in their home that is safe for me. Financially, we'd both be better off. If I do this, will I ever see him again? I'll be moving 1,600 miles away. What are the odds of him landing a job that can pay the bills any time soon? You might be thinking about how he should change careers and figure this out. It's not that simple: couples can't survive anymore unless they're both making a decent salary and living frugally, and my income is less than half of his. He doesn't - didn't - make a low salary, and most career changes would not help him earn more money. He might have an easier time finding a job in a different career making the same amount of money, but he is paying for a doctorate in this career field.
My God... where is the humanity? What happened to our nation? This is a nightmare.
Happy Easter, everyone. Easter is the ultimate message of hope. Easter is the reminder of why we're living. Easter is the reason to keep fighting and moving forward in this screwed up society that doesn't value human lives. Easter is the meaning of life.
I think this song is relevant... yes, it's about dating, but isn't job hunting dating too? I view it like jobs are looking for the perfect workers and looking for perfect people to apply. They expect people who are not humans to fulfil their insane and inhumane demands. How bad do they want employees? And will any employer pay enough to live off of, but also hire someone less than perfect?
As for me, myself, and I... well... I'm lucky to have family who loves me and can help me. I'm lucky to have as much health as I do have, considering I was completely bed ridden at one point in my life. I just want to surround myself with people who can still find the beauty in being alive so we can somehow survive this nightmare. If it's societal collapse, I just want to be with people who love me. If it's the apocalypse, then all I can say is that it's about time. Good riddance. We've trashed this planet, we've trashed society, we've trashed the ability to have a future... I will do my part to try to save this planet and be able to have a future, but if it all collapses, so be it. I'm exhausted. I want to live a life in which it's actually possible to be in love, raise children, and be part of a healthy and functional society. But as it is right now, there's no time or room left for building a loving relationship. Every moment of our lives is pure stress about how to financially survive.
