If I had the energy, I think I'd be screaming right now.
I had a very hard time falling asleep last night because of throbbing aching upper back and shoulder pain. This morning I have the same pain continuing on along with a tight aching chest. My heart feels so tired and sore. I feel like I can't breathe well enough because my lungs are too tired. I have to consciously breathe deeply enough because the automatic breathing system isn't doing a good enough job. And then that same spot in my gut is now constantly in pain instead of just in certain positions.
I've been sitting here for an hour, mostly still, and my pulse is 104 with blood pressure of 106/58. Systolic is higher than my normal for being at rest, and I'm always symptomatic when my diastolic is below 60.
I'm itchy and fidgety, as if I had a bunch of sugar, but I didn't. My skin is tender in certain areas, like I have the flu, but I don't.
I really want to be back on my supplements. This is so uncomfortable. 2 more weeks until testing. Can I handle 2 weeks of this? Can I handle the planes to travel to the doctors in this condition?
Whenever I try to gently stretch my back and shoulder muscles to release the throbbing tension the pain shoots to my brain and makes me feel so weak that I might pass out. When I try to massage it I feel like I'm going to break my fingers. I bruised my neck from massaging it last night, now I can't work on that spot.
I kind of wish I had a machine to breathe for me right now. Remembering to breathe is exhausting. Why won't my body just do it well without me thinking about it?
I'm wishing my last acupuncturist was here to do dry needling on these muscles. It was the only therapy I've ever had done to fully release the tension. If it were simple enough to just go to Arizona to see him I would. I don't know of anyone else in my area that does it. My new acupuncturist is excellent - she's incredible, but she doesn't do dry needling. She does cupping, which does help a lot, but does not fully release the tension. The cupping tends to open up my lungs though. It makes me cough for a bit before I can take a full satisfying deep breathe, which is an amazing feeling.
That's making me think my breathing troubles right now are probably directly tied to my extreme shoulder tension. If I can find a way to loosen the tension without taking my pills, will I be able to breathe normally again?
I can't think of ANYTHING but my pain this morning. I want to rest and relax, but I can't. All I can do is sit here and manage my breathing.
If I needed a doctor in town right now, who would I even go see? My acupuncturist would probably help the most, but she's very difficult to get into. I'm not allowed to see my chiropractor again until after the testing. He would probably help though. Every time I try to stretch I can feel several bones pulling and popping with the motion.
My heart is just so dang sore. It feels like it might give out from exhaustion.
I need some sort of stand that can hold my phone directly above my head while I'm laying down so I could watch a show on it without using my arms. If I just lay there on my acupressure mat my mind wanders to bad places that prevents me from relaxing. I need the distraction.
Oh great, now I'm bleeding where I've been massaging. Uggghhhh.
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