Sunday, June 18, 2017

Tachycardia is so Pleasant (sarcasm)

Oh how I so enjoy the tachycardia. :P

I love shivering when I'm not cold, struggling to remember to breathe, feeling my heart rate skyrocket and punch my throat in slight stress, feeling my heart rate skyrocket from just laying down, having purple mottled legs, heart burn from a digestive tract that freezes up on me when blood isn't moving well, bloating that never ends, falling over because I'm too weak to keep standing, seeing spinning colors when I stand up, saving up all my energy and strength for only the hours I go to work and ending up collapsing at home...

Yeah, I've been suspicious of POTS for years. I didn't bring up my suspicion to my doctor, but he tested my heart rate and blood pressure long enough and careful enough to find POTS symptoms.

Right now I've been laying on my back for 2 hours, talking on the phone for some of that time (talking always winds me up because it takes energy - I don't like to sit and talk anymore, too draining), and I counted my resting heart rate a few times. 92, 96, 105. Laying down!

I think I've had symptoms for years, but in the last 6 months or so symptoms have been most obvious and exagerrated. I was complaining to my doctor about how sore and achey my heart was. It hurt a lot! I wasn't used to that kind of heart pain.

I was born with a heart murmur: pulmenory stenosis. It never went away. I still have it. Cardiologists have needed me to get echocardiograms every couple of years my whole life. Every one I've seen has always been startled and confused by how loud my heart is and the gurgling noises it apparent makes. My heart has always been in good health according to the tests, but the fact that the murmur never went away and it makes weird noises worries cardiologists. After reading up on POTS I found that it's fairly common for POTS patients to have a murmur too. I have not decided what this means yet, but it's interesting.

I'm writing this on my phone out of anxiety and chest pain. Really not feeling well. I'll consider going into more depth on the subject later. 

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Current Favorite Products

I've been updating this post as I think of things to add to it, and I may continue to update it. These are my current favorite products!


Lauren Brooke Cosmetiques

The whole entire brand. I've written about natural and organic make up before, including Lauren Brooke lip colors (I never finished that post because... fatigue and sickness making me not look camera ready), Mineral Fusion, and MyChelle. MyChelle no longer makes make up. I don't understand why, because they had this awesome foundation cream stick that I loved, but the company decided to focus on skin care instead of cosmetics. Such a disappointment. I switched to Mineral Fusion pressed powder foundation. I like it a lot, but I find it's a bit dry and I broke out to their liquid foundation. I learned that Mineral Fusion is not 100% trustworthy and only some of their products are safe, but the safe products are excellent and I highly recommend. I decided to finally try Lauren Brooke's pressed powder. I'm never going back. It's the bomb! It's not drying, applies really smoothly and evenly, and has this radiance to it that Mineral Fusion didn't give me. I don't feel it on my skin. It looks so natural and feels so natural, but covers the perfect amount and warms up my skin tone nicely. It also neutralizes my undereye bags without concealer! It doesn't hide them like concealer, but it masks the purple color so it looks like I'm not wearing make up or trying to hide them.

I just purchased two new items from them (as in minutes ago, have not arrived yet.) One is their lash conditioner. They sent me a sample of it last time I ordered. I never really thought I wanted a lash conditioner until I tried it, but the sample of it convinced me. It helped tone down my itching and my lashes did act stronger - as in, not falling out at the normal rate. What I would actually like from regular use of it is to regrow lashes. I have a "bald patch" in my lashes that drives me nuts. This conditioner has horsetail in it, and from my understanding, horsetail is the only herb known to create new hair growth (as opposed to helping the hair you already have grow more.)

The other new item I just bought is their creme concealer. I have an issue with eye shadows creasing on me - all brands, doesn't seem to matter if it's powder or liquid. Reviewers said this concealer mixes really well with eye shadow and prevents the creasing. I'm going to test this out and see if it's true! As it is, I tend to wear very light amounts of eye shadow so that when it ends up creasing it's not as obvious. I want to be able to rock a normal layer of eye shadow for hours!

I'm wearing Lauren Brooke Cool 20 Pressed Powder Foundation in this photo (along with Honeybee Garden eye liner, and Mineral Fusion mascara and blush.) I took this on a day when I was feeling badly and tried to get ready for work, so I did my make up, but wasn't strong enough to actually work. I never expected to use the photo, lol, but you can see how it makes my skin look natural with a glow. My chest skin was more pale than normal. I love it!






Biokleen Laundry Powder and Oxygen Bleach Plus

This has been a miracle worker for me! I use the Premium Plus one because it doesn't have corn products in it like the Fragrance Free one does (I'm allergic to corn.) I can use the Fragrance Free liquid from them, but I prefer this powder. It has Zeolite and hydrogen peroxide in it, both of which are excellent ingredients for KILLING perfumes and other fragrances. I might have to wash 2-3 times to get rid of badly contaminated clothing, but the majority of the time one wash is enough to completely remove any trace amounts of fragrances that stick to my clothes. It's awesome!!! It also cleans really well and keeps whites very white. This is the lowest effort most effective laundry product I've ever used.

The oxygen bleach is on the same page I link to. It's like Oxyclean, only with trustworthy ingredients. I use this in toilet tanks and to soak my bath tub with. The toilets have less grime and my tub that is stained a bit brown from using Redmond's Bath Salt Plus turned white. With no scrubbing. :D


This handmade turtle from a Fair Trade store in Minneapolis
...that was on clearance for $4 and I finally found a small succulent for.





Sierra Trading Post

Their website. It's part of the TJMaxx chain of stores, but is for outdoor and recreation enthusiasts. They sell a good variety of organic clothing and eco products. It may not be GOTS certified sweatshop free organic clothing, which is my preference, but I only work 12-16 hours a week. I can't afford my standard unless it's on clearance. I have a small variety of GOTS certified sweat shop clothing in my closet, but it was all purchased on good sales. When I need some article of clothing and I can't find what I need on sale elsewhere, going simply for organic cotton from Sierra Trading Post is amazingly helpful. It's all liquidation, so their selection is constantly changing, but their prices are fantastic. I've bought both organic clothing (brands like Prana, Patagonia, United By Blue, and Adventura) and natural leather with rubber shoes from them at huge savings. I can't rely on them to have what I need, but I've scored great deals from them. And it's excellent for men too! The focus on organic clothing is on women, but they actually have a good variety for men!

The only problem? Their return policy. You'll have to pay to return, which can make returns not worth it on some items. But their prices and discounts make up for it. Just make friends who will buy items that don't fit you.

Choice Mental Focus Tea and Choice Vanilla Roobios Tea

I drink a ton of tea. I can only drink water and tea, no juices or coffee or sodas. I'm limited in which teas I can drink due to medicinal properties of some teas and herbs, but thankfully both of these work for me. I use caffeine sparingly and I plan out when to drink it. I'm sensitive to it, so I have to be careful. Both of these are caffeine free, but work great in the day time! The Mental Focus tea is awesome when I'm wanting to lift brain fog without using caffeine. It really does help! The Vanilla Roobios tea just has this silky smooth dark flavor, and I love dark green and black tea. It's my caffeine-free dark flavor replacement. Sooooooo good!



GoWise USA Blood Pressure Monitor

I have blood pressure issues. I haven't written much about it yet, but I appear to have POTS (doctor tested). POTS is a heart rate issue, but in my case it's a blood pressure issue too. I'll get into this someday when I'm ready to write about the things stressing me out again, lol. Anyway, I bought this last year to monitor myself so I could learn when I was fighting low blood pressure instead of having another issue, like hypoglycemia. It has been really insightful. This monitor uses an arm cuff, which is much more accurate than the write monitors. It's not perfect because it's a machine, which uses averages to calculate. My doctor measures my blood pressure manually and spends a lot more time measuring it to be accurate and see how it fluctuates. This machine won't show fluctuations. But for an at home tool it actually is accurate enough to be helpful. I didn't get excited about it last year because it didn't ever seem to be accurate, but it was my fault. I was measuring incorrectly. I fixed my posture and arm position, which made all the difference in the world!

It does measure heart rate too. I think a normal person could trust the heart rate reading on it, but it doesn't read long enough for someone like me. My heart rate jumps all over the place within seconds. I think it give me an average, like Fitbit does (I'll get into why Fitbit is the wrong tool for people with POTS later.) But what it does tell me is when my resting heart rate is simply too high. Mine is often in the 80's, sometimes in the 90's. That's really not good.






This Shark Vacuum

Vacuuming has always been an issue for me. I get allergy issues if I don't vacuum, but I get allergy issues if I do. It's because the vacuum we had before just kicked up dust and only collected part of it. My husband came to me and said he wanted to get me a better vacuum, but didn't want to get it for me for a holiday or birthday because he didn't want to imply that I'm just an objectified house maid. lol! So he got it for us "for Memorial Day." Ha! He was teasing, because I'm not sensitive about such things, but I enjoyed the laugh.

Anyway, this vacuum sucks! It actually sucks hard without kicking dust up into the air! It has 2 more amps (power) than the last vacuum, and it has a HEPA filter built in to prevent any dust from leaving through the exhaust. It's not only collecting a lot more from our carpet, it's allowing me to vacuum as much as I want without even needing to wear my face mask! All the other features are wonderful on it too, but the fact alone that the suction is powerful and it has a HEPA filter is enough to make me fall in love with it. If you need an allergy friendly vacuum, I highly recommend this one!



This was after a quick vacuum around the upstairs to try out the new vacuum. I had just vacuumed the week prior with the old vacuum. Clearly the old vacuum wasn't picking up very much...



Om Pure Air mask

I've been using Vog Mask, but suddenly I couldn't find their organic cotton version anywhere for sale. My old 2 from them are too worn out and they're not refreshing in the sun. It's hard to breathe through them. So I was forced to find an alternative to buy. I bought this mask, and despite it taking 4 weeks to ship to me, I actually like it better than Vog Mask. It's easier to breathe through it, it fits my face better and seals better, and it's more effective. I think they have a better carbon filter than Vog Mask uses. I'll want to write a full review on this later, so stay tuned for that.





Hemp Organic Life Etsy store

This shop is awesome. All the products are made from organic hemp and linen, and they are high quality. I bought an organic hemp sleeping bag from her to use when I need to travel and sleep in beds that aren't my safe organic latex bed. I bought it as a barrier between me and the bed so I wouldn't have skin contact, at the very least, with the flame retardants, polyester, and other synthetics. I'll review this sleeping bag after traveling with it later this summer, so stay tuned for that, but snuggling with it at home is wonderful! It breathes so well, but also traps in enough body heat to keep me comfortable. The fabric is strong. It's mildly scratchy the same way wool is, but it's softening up with washing. I actually really like that slightly rough texture, I think it feels good on my skin. Anyway, she did a fantastic job with this sleeping bag. She's from the Ukraine, so shipping almost made me cry, but it was so incredibly worth it! You can see how comfortable it is:



She also sent me a free gift of these linen socks, which are so perfect. They're very breathable, but keep me warm. They feel cozy on my skin. These are the best free gift I've received with an order!






Redmond's new Tooth Powder in Black Licorice

So... normally I'm an advocate of making your own toothpaste from scratch in order to save money and save plastic. It's really easy to make with bentonite clay and charcoal. But in this case, Redmond made theirs better than the DIY version. How, you ask? By making it very powdery. It's so much finer than any toothpowder I've made from scratch, and therefore it feels so much softer on the teeth. It brushes better and is much easier to rinse out of my mouth. But the best part? The black licorice flavor. It's awesome. It's so good. I accidently bought the peppermint version and I don't care for the flavor of it.

Also, for those of you who really don't want to do DIY, this is a great option, even though it's in plastic, because the tooth powder lasts about 3x longer than their Earthpaste in the tubes.



Avocado Oil Spray

I'm not sure I have to justify why this is a favorite thing of mine. It's a super healthy fat in spray form without aerosol. I just spray it on salads and it's perfectly evenly distributed on the leafs. I spray it on chicken before it goes on the grill and it means I don't have to massage the chicken with oily hands to get a nice thin coating of oil on it.



Badger Face Oil Set:

Organic oils in a glass pump bottle - they're perfect! I don't react to any of the sets except the Argan oil one, which has orange essential oil in it. I don't do well with citrus oils. They're so gentle, take off make up way better than just coconut oil, and moisturize very well. I wear the face oil under my make up and it doesn't leave me greasy whatsoever. I can't say enough good about this set! My skin looks much more supple with regular use.



Vitamin C and Glutathione IVs (and my Mom.)




I had two of these on my last trip to see my doctor. They made me really nauseous and gave me some nasty headaches. I wanted to throw up, but was made very thirsty from them at the same time. I felt like a trillion micro explosions were happening in my body all at once. Why do I like them so much, then? Because they seriously help a lot after my body calms down from receiving the IV. Better energy, better mood, much less severe reactions to things, better digestion, clearer head and clearer thinking, less overall body pain... they're helpful! But the effect doesn't last long enough. I need to have them done regularly.



Dr. Bronner's Baby Mild Soap

This soap is fragrance free, doesn't dry out my skin, is organic and doesn't irritate my skin, and is very travel friendly. I accidently left my container of it in the bathroom where my Chiropractor and Acupuncturist are. As you can see that building stocks heavily scented soaps - it's hard for me to use their bathroom and I need to slip on my mask to go in there (it's a shared building and they don't choose the soap.) My container was mostly full when I left it there, and exactly a week later it was only a quarter full. People were choosing my fragrance free soap over the fake scented cancer causing soap! That gave me a lot of hope for humanity, lol.

I buy the large 32 oz container of it and keep refilling this little one. I keep this small container in my purse so that I have safe soap with me in public.






Wokamon App



I got myself the cheap Fitbit Flex 2 because AT&T was having a special on them. I wish I had researched fitness trackers before impulsively getting it. At the time I didn't think I wanted to spend more for a heart rate monitor, and I was wasn't wrong to think that since Fitbit's heart rate monitoring isn't detailed enough for people with POTS, but some monitoring would be nice. It also doesn't have a GPS, so I can't map my walks with it. I was mostly interested in the sleep tracking feature, but as it turns out, it's not accurate. I think it's sleeping when I'm laying in bed with my eyes open wondering when I'll ever finally drift off to sleep.

But it's not all a disappointment! I know I can't challenge myself to do more exercise with it in my condition, but it's actually been helpful to see how much walking I do on a normal work day vs normal non-work day. I can see how active I really am when I tell my doctor how much exercise I think I'm getting.

The best part? Wokamon and Achievemint, two apps that are weirdly motivating.

Wokamon is the modern day smart phone Tomagachi, lol! You must take care of your monsters by leveling them up with steps from your fitness tracker. When it tells me I only need 156 more steps to level up, I actually want to get up and get those steps in, even when I'm feeling lazy and tired. I am too motivated by reward systems in video games. :) But hey, it's fun and it's working! I might only average 3,000 steps a day (so I can't compete), but my monsters are leveling up!

Achievemint pays you for using a fitness tracker. You can earn up to $10 a month for all the activity you do with your fitness tracker. It's going to end up being more like $10 every 6 months at the rate I earn points, but hey, I'll take the $10 when I finally earn it!




30% Grain White Vinegar

This stuff works amazingly for killing weeds. It burns weeds, but leaves the roots. After the weed shrivels up you'll have to spray again to burn the roots. The fact of the matter is that it's non-toxic and highly effective! That said, it does burn the skin. Cover your skin when applying!

It IS made from corn, but it's non-GMO corn. The company doesn't verify if the corn was sprayed with Round Up or not, but they do claim the corn is non-GMO and Round Up is mainly used on GMOs. It's also just the acid from the corn, so it doesn't seem to cause me allergic issues (I'm allergic to corn.) I'm not consuming it, just spraying it on weeds.


These reusable organic cotton produce bags

I've been using these for years now, but they're still one of my favorite things. They are fantastic for buying fresh produce with because they weigh nothing, they're breathable, and they keep produce fresh and clean. They wash very easily.

But I discovered a new use for them! They're perfect for washing bras in and other delicates in! Instead of a nylon mesh bag designed for bras, I just stick my bra in one of these, tie the top loosely, and throw it in the washer and dryer. My bras are coming out cleaner than when I used the nylon mesh bag, and I'm guessing the cotton allows more soap through. These bags make my life so much easier!


Alaffia Bubble Bath

This bubble bath is by far the best Alaffia product. It bubbles really well, the bubbles last a long time, it's effective soap, and it's great for washing hair with! I like to mix Starwick Botanical's Kelp powder, baking soda (to neutralize chlorine), and this bubble bath together. I'll wash my hair in the bathwater and soak in it for a while. Then I'll even shave my legs in the bathwater. The bubble bath stays soapy enough to keep my legs lubricated enough to shave with. I rinse in the shower after, of course. I don't particularly care for this brand's shampoo or conditioner (I loved them at first, then it started leaving residue in my hair that wouldn't wash out), but this bubble bath couldn't be better!


Mantra Sports Pilates Ring

I had to let this off gas for a while before I could use it - it's not safe right out of the box for MCS people like myself. But after it stopped being smelly I was able to play with it. The reason I like it is because it allows me to use my muscles even when I'm stuck in bed on my back. I just put it between my legs and squeeze. I put it between my ankles and lift it with my legs. I hold it in my hands and squeeze it and pull it apart. The simple resistance it offers helps me a lot when my muscles feel restless but I'm not feeling strong enough to stand up and walk around. There are probably other great similar products, but this is the one I chose and I really like it!



My acupressure mat - I still love this thing so much!!



....And more. I'm forgetting plenty of things I want to share with you, I'm sure of it, but I've been working on this post slowly all day. I'm done. :) I've leaving out obvious things I've already reviewed, such as my new organic latex bed, which I can't say enough good about! Seriously, your bed matters. A lot.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Mental Health Part 2

I won't apologize for my last post in which I worried some of you. Thank you to those of you who reached out and expressed concern. I believe the post was important to write because I needed to express how much I was suffering. The way my illnesses affect my mental health is important to solving my illnesses, and hopefully helps others make sense of their illnesses.

Last month I flew out to see my doctor again. It was a long overdue much needed appointment. I believe the therapies I had done in the clinic stirred up some toxins in my body, which probably contributed to that bought of severe depression I just went through. It certainly made a difference in my body - I can feel less of a toxic body burden weighing me down. But I did stir up toxicity nonetheless.

I'm doing better again. Anxiety attacks have calmed down, and the brain fog has lifted enough that I no longer am stuck in depression. I don't know if it's due to my body calming down after the therapies, or perhaps it's because the sun finally came out. Suddenly, literally over night, the temps went from 60's to 90's. It's been in the 90's all week. The sun feels AMAZING. What's interesting about that is that my lab test results came back, and it said my vitamin D level is at 88. 88!!! It's taken 3 years to raise my level to where it's almost supposed to be (I should be in the 90's according to my doctor.) 3 years of 15,000iu a day!! The reason the sun helps me so much must not be the vitamin D it gives me. It must be something else. I believe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, and winter is like a slow mild poison to my mental health. Mix that with stirring up toxins in my body and it's a disaster.

But there's also the other elephant in the room: stress! Stress is constant. Stress prevents recovery and rest. Stress makes me spend energy I don't have, wearing me out further. Stress puts my body into depression. The worse my adrenals, the worse my mental health. I lose the ability to spend energy on thinking. Memory recall, planning, dreaming/brainstorming, problem solving, learning... yep, it all shuts down. The more stressed I am, the less brain power I have. Stress is pure poison to me, and I get so frustrated and angry when people don't respect this fact. When people give me more problems, tasks to accomplish, or worries to worry about it actually makes my brain work less well and diminishes my ability to do what they tell me to do. The anger at others not understanding this problem stresses me further. I shut down. I ignore problems and tasks. It's fight or flight, but flight is the only option because there's no energy to fight. I simply cannot tolerate stress. Yes, I really do need to live in a bubble, and people don't understand this need either. Give me enough time to rest in my bubble and my body will recharge and I'll have energy to spend on working through stress again. But I'm burn out mode. I have NOTHING to give. So naturally, my husband wanting me to look for lodging that will work for me so we can go on a 10 year anniversary trip... sigh, stress.

I appreciate those of you who reached out to me and told me I can talk about my depression with you. It's very kind of you, and I need to know I have that kind of love and support in my life. This might sound backwards to you, but this is the truth: There's nothing to talk about. It's not a depression due to problems. It's a depression due to lack of energy and brain power. So talking would make it worse. It would use up energy I need to rest with. I know that some types of depression are solved with friend therapy and support from others, but mine is the type that requires me to be alone. I'm not entering further into the darkness through isolation. I'm letting myself recharge. Once a phone's battery is down to 10%, trying to use it only drains the battery faster, and the only solution is to stop using it and plug it in. I'm that phone at 10%. Well, I was. I'm probably at 25 % now. I'm no longer in "battery saving mode," but I'm on the verge of it. Let me charge more. :)

I know there's a lot to update you all on in this blog. I need to finish my mattress part 3 post, write about the new organic hemp sleeping bag I bought, talk about my new lab results, and go into a blood pressure and heart rate issue I have. I want to talk about some other product reviews too. I'll probably write about it all eventually, if I'm up to it. I can't take the pressure, so if it happens it happens. I only write in this blog when I need the therapy that comes from writing, so bear with me. :)