I'm finding myself away from my computer for an extended period of time. This post is very short because I'm typing it on my phone.
I'd like to share a couple of thoughts. I decided to get them out tonight instead of let them swim in my imagination while I try to settle down to sleep. I tend to develop anxiety when my thoughts get trapped.
1. I have a theory that chlorine in tap water causes eczema and acne. Ever since I installed the chlorine filters at home my skin has been soft, free from eczema, and free from excessive acne. I'm in a place now without chlorine filters, and my skin has been very very broken out. It's also been very dry and itchy. I can smell the chlorine with every shower and it's most unpleasant. My skin habits have been the same as at home, only this time coconut oil and avocado oil aren't enough.
2. My doctor told me to get a latex pillow, so I did. For those of you who like memory foam, but don't want the toxic chemical soup under your head all night, I highly recommend it. It smells like rubber. I won't deny that it's stinky. But it's natural with great support. I will be exploring latex mattresses soon.
3. I'm coming to understand how MCS is really such an important underlying cause of my health problems. It isn't just another issue, it's a root issue. I'll expand on this in a new post later, but I feel way way better in my doctor's clinic, which is deliberately low VOC with great filtration. Today I felt like me again for a while - a very exhausted me, but me, because I finally experienced my body being calm. I'm so used to being trapped and limited by my body feeling constantly on edge. That edginess went away for a while today because I wasn't reacting to anything and acupuncture was very very calming. I'm coming to understand how I'm usually in a constant low level reaction. Couldn't be happier to see my doctor!
4. I'm not my body. The person I am is not my body. My body heavily controls who I am because my gut and brain make up why I act the way I do, yes. But who I am is not my body, it's my soul. My soul has been so hindered by my body, but it isn't sick like my body is. I am not a sick person. I'm a healthy person limited by a sick body. I accept this, for now, at least. I am worth being a member of this society. I have value. Just because my body suffers doesn't mean I'm not able to participate in life. I am very much wanting to be a part of this world. I hope you can see me for the person I am and not for my weak body. I may be sick, but I am so so so much more. I'm a person.
5. I miss my hubby. This isn't health related, but I just wanted to say it. I'm not used to being away from him so long!
6. I just battled a nasty flu-like virus. I'm sure I got it from flying, even wearing a mask. I'll review the mask later. Getting sick when I was already feeling weak was scary. I haven't been that hypoglycemic in a while. I wasn't so sure I was going to survive that one. I highly recommend being careful and keeping your immune system strong. There's a lot of viruses going around right now.
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