Candida

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for me to talk about this issue so soon, but after discovering how common of an issue it is, I decided I would share my story so far. I need some type of outlet for this issue, because my goodness, it's the only thing on my mind right now! It also will serve as an explanation for what's going on - why I've been extra quiet and distant this week.

My doctor told me it's time to address my candida overgrowth. This surprised me. I didn't know I had a candida issue, and from what I knew of candida symptoms, I assumed I would have figured out on my own that I have a candida problem. As it turns out, I didn't know that much about candida, despite reading quite a bit of the Yeast Connection book two years ago when I was searching for answers. Yes, I had tons of the symptoms listed in the book: multiple chemical sensitives, rashes, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, regular discharge, extreme menstrual pain and flow, and digestive issues. All of these symptoms, though, were explained by other methods. What I did not have were regular yeast infections (I've only had 3 in my life, one of which was expected as a side effect of antibiotics I was temporarily put on for a MRSA abscess.) So I dismissed candida, thinking it probably wasn't my issue. Even though it turns out to be one of my issues, it is good that I didn't try to address it on my own before seeing my doctor, because I was not nearly strong enough back then to handle a candida cleanse.

What I know now is that heavy antibiotic use throughout life causes candida overgrowth. As you may know, I've been put on lots of antibiotics - 1-2 rounds a year at least for most of my childhood and teen years. I was also on antibiotics for a full year when I was 1 year old due to a chronic ear infection. Antibiotics destroy both good and bad bacteria in the gut, and when there's an imbalance of good bacteria in the gut, the candida yeast spreads. I've also had several mold exposures, and yeast can feed on mold. I was also eating plenty of sugar, and yeast loves sugar. The Yeast Connection book I linked to earlier explains all of this. I suggest that you do your own research and talk to your doctor if it's something you want to know more about. There are tons of websites, books, and studies dedicated to candida. I am writing this post to share my experience, not explain candida.

My Naturopathic Doctor has me on a candida cleanse using lots and lots of herbs. I will not tell you what he's having me take. What I'm taking is very strong and cannot be purchased off store shelves. If you want to do a cleanse, talk to your doctor (I highly recommend finding a licensed Naturopthic doctor for this, but from what I've heard from others I've talked to who have also done cleanses, a licensed acupuncturist or Chinese Medicine Doctor can also provide the same type of herbs I'm on right now.) I'm taking 4 rounds of pills a day until the candida is gone. This is a process.

I'm currently on day 6 of the cleanse, but I should be clear that I've been on a diet that does not promote candida growth for over a year. I've had almost no sugar and I've been very low carb.

Here's what I've been going through, symptoms starting at day 2 of the cleanse:

- Intense bloating!!
- Constipation AND too many extra trips to the bathroom
- Rashes
- Night sweats
- Restless aching muscles that burn like acid after being worked
- Fibromyalgia flares like I haven't felt in a year
- Inability to eat much because of intense bloating
- Adrenaline rushes/ jittery uncomfortable energy
- Debilitating fatigue
- Sleeplessness and over sleeping
- Teeth sensitivity flares
- Nausea
- Headaches
- Muscle Tension
- Heart palpitations

Yes, it's been really unpleasant. Apparently most of this is due to the "die-off effect." Candida can go anywhere in the body and cause problems, so as the yeast dies off, we can have die-off symptoms where the yeast was.

Let me explain the bloating symptom, because I want to complain (ha!) I didn't think to measure my belly before starting the cleanse, unfortunately, but I do know that I've been wearing a size 6 pant, which translates to a waist size of 27 1/2" as far as fashion sizes are concerned (not hip size, waist size.) I measured about an inch below my waist once I started measuring.

On day 2 the bloating began, and it was so bad that I couldn't even get my loose-fitting dresses to cover it up. I looked 7-8 months pregnant. I didn't take measurements until the after noon of day 3. Measuring at about half an inch below my belly button, I measured 36.5". The morning of day 4 I measured 34.5", at 1:30 that afternoon I was at 36", and at 7:30 pm I was at 37". Day 5 morning measurement was 36", afternoon was 37", and evening 36.5". This morning, day 6, I measured at 35" (but I forgot to measure until after taking my pills, which is an instant bloater - I looked my thinnest of the week this morning.) I'm currently at 36.5" after eating breakfast.

I don't think my belly could grow larger than 37" without bursting open! The bloating has been painful because I've felt stretched to my limit. My stomach has felt very firm, like a balloon filled to capacity. This isn't the jiggly "feeling fat" type of bloating - it's about as firm as possible. My clothing hasn't fit, so I haven't left the house. I'm sporting sweat pants and over sized shirts.

I don't know how long this cleanse will take, but I'm seriously looking forward to being done with it. Until it's done, it's dominating my thoughts. The discomfort is constant, and it's making me less interested in anything else for the time being.

Please leave a comment here on my blog or on Facebook with your candida experience. I want to hear what you've gone through on your cleanses!

Should We Talk About Our Diseases?

I wrote this post on my phone on an airplane last Wednesday, 4 days ago. I wrote it in One Note and didn't have internet access to post it with. I'm sharing it with you "as is," meaning I'm not going through and changing or updating anything I said. This was a stream of consciousness type entry, and I want to honor that.

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I recently saw this meme, and it's had me thinking. Whoever wrote this must not have a debilitating chronic illness. How is it possible not to think about and talk about a chronic illness when our lives must be formed around it? Every day I take many supplements and pills twice a day. I must stick to my very strict diet if I don't want a gut ache all day (among other issues.) I can't go into many places, such as schools or stores, without fearing fragrances or cleaners that could make me debilitatingly sick. My life revolves around my body now. I must obey my body's needs at all times, or I won't be able to function. If I don't talk about this to others, how will I be able to make friends, attend events, or participate in life? Because I struggle so much to fit in with most of this world's norms, I need to explain myself to protect myself. That said, I dislike dominating conversations with my chronic illness. I do like to talk about other things more, and it does help when I can chat for a while about topics that aren't about me.  

I'm writing this while traveling on a plane back home. In the airport before boarding I ended up chatting with a guy who turned out to be from my hometown of Boise, ID. He is a Mormon returning home from Virginia from his 2 year mission. We chatted for close to an hour (flight was delayed,) and we talked all about Boise, faith, and traveling. I didn't have to bring up my illness at all, and I felt so normal. It made me so happy to talk and laugh with a stranger about something we both love. I didn't have to think about my current problems. I felt free - I got to be me for that hour, not be sick me. I think this is the real point of this meme. It's not possible to avoid owning our illnesses or talking about them all the time, but when the opportunity arises to escape talking about our illnesses, we need to take it.  

On a side note, I'm super excited for him. He finally gets to return home to his girlfriend who he hasn't seen in two years. He was so nervous that I couldn't help laughing in excitement.  

I just spent a month away from home with my parents and my doctor. I didn't get to escape my health. I had to think about it every day, like I have been for the past two years. Being away from home was refreshing, but I'm still stuck with my personal reality no matter where I am. No, I can't do as this meme says. What I can do is choose to focus my energies on conversations not related to my health. I can choose to enjoy my environment and surroundings. I can choose to put a smile on to greet others, even when I'm grumpy from feeling sick. It isn't easy. In fact, smiling can be really very difficult. But it's worth it. If other people can see that you're making the best of life, they'll respond positively and help you feel like a normal person.  

I needed to write this post, because I need to savor this time that I have a clear head. Treatments helped so much, and I've regained enough mental clarity to think without the influence of anxiety. My goodness, I fought some scary bad anxiety attacks on this trip. When trapped in an anxiety attack, it isn't possible to see the beauty in life or the positives in my current life situation. I tried so hard to feel some hope, but I couldn't find any hope at all. I was so consumed by fear that I got lost somewhere in my brain and couldn't regain control. I need to write this now as a testament to the fact that the real me isn't an anxious person. The real me can laugh, connect with others, and look forward to the future. The real me isn't self consumed. The sick me is very self consumed and defensive.  

I think it won't be long before I lose this good mood. I'm in a window seat next to two ladies. I don't smell them through my VogMask, but my heart has been palpitating occasionally since we took off. I've been fighting a mild reaction from Detroit's restrooms for a while, but I'm handling it surprisingly well. I'm expecting to start breaking down at some point. I may not, though, because I did just do a lot of heavy detoxing this month and have been rejuvenated with immune system boosting IVs and treatments. I'm also wearing my doctor's personal air purifier, basically just a small unit I wear around my neck that produces negative ions.  

Conclusion: Always take the opportunity to be positive when you're mentally capable. It's hard. Do it anyway. Make the most of the times that you're not consumed with anxiety, depression, brain fog, and pain. A little bit of time feeling like a normal happy person goes a long way. But do not deny your chronic illness. Do not pretend it doesn't exist. Most importantly, you need to protect your health and sanity so you can have the good times. There wont be good times if you don't take care of yourself.