Hilo, The Prodigal Turtle

I wrote this short story in 2009 for musical inspiration for my husband. He was asked to write a short musical composition as part of his master's degree program in Piano Performance, and he needed something to inspire him. He did write a fun, very fitting piece to accompany this story, but he's unwilling to share it. :)  I was reminded of it recently. It's a bit raw, unrefined, and underdeveloped, as my intention was just to write it for my husband. I didn't think very highly of the story so I put it out of my mind, just another work of mine that the world doesn't need to see. But after re-reading it yesterday, I like it way better now that all these years have passed and I've put my feelings aside! I thought I should share it here for you wonderful readers.

The best stories I've written and have won awards (even had published in the local newspaper) are always personification stories. I don't know why that is, but I have noticed using animals and objects as characters tends to free up my restrictions so I can say what I want to say in the story. :) Enjoy!



Hilo, The Prodigal Turtle by Sarah Langer

Once upon a time on a cozy sandy beach a turtle named Hilo was born. Hilo was known by all the turtles in his beach villiage to have the prettiest shell of all because it displayed every color of the rainbow and glowed in the light like stained glass. His mother taught him to walk by taking him for a stroll around their village every morning, but she also did this to show off her son’s shell in the morning sunlight. The other turtles liked to comment on it, saying how much more captivating and beautiful it looked with each rising sun. He loved all the other turtles and all the other turtles loved him. His father taught him to step out of his shell and clean it with sponges that washed up from the ocean so that it always looked at its best for his morning walks. As he got older he kept up the tradition of taking a morning walk to show off his freshly polished shell, even once his mother got too old to walk around the whole beach village with him.
One morning when Hilo was cleaning his shell in preparation for his morning stroll he felt a tremble in the sands and a roar from outside of his village. He left his shell in the corner of his sand house and poked his head outside to see why the earth was shaking. Turtles were scurrying through the sand away from the ocean in a hurry the best they could. Neighbors told him to run for his life. He looked towards the horizon to see what they were fleeing from and saw the ocean flowing quickly towards him. Hilo rushed to get into his shell, but the ocean fell onto his sand house and carried him up and away in its current before he could reach his shell. He pushed his green legs as hard as he could through the water to keep his head above the surface. The wave dropped him off with his turtle neighbors in a forest of tall grass and then the wave drifted away. All the other turtles were huddled up next to each other and howling cries of misery. Hilo shivered without the comfort of his shell and joined the other turtles in their crying.

The next day Hilo’s mother found him and wrapped her neck around his to embrace him. “I was worried I’d never see you again!” She exclaimed. “I’m so happy you’re well!” Hilo showed his mother the saddest eyes she had ever seen and he told her his shell got left behind. She told him not to worry about his shell, but instead to help all the other turtles to find their way back to the beach village and rebuild it. He was sad to know his mother wasn’t concerned about his shell, but he took a walk through the grassy jungle to find the turtles who were gathering to rebuild the beach village. He felt ashamed to walk past all the other turtles naked and began to cry.

“Don’t be sad, Hilo! We’ll rebuild our beach village soon and everything will be back to normal!” They said.

Hilo argued, “It’s not the village I’m sad about, I just want my beautiful shell back. Will you help me find it in the village ruins?” The other turtles got angry at this and told him their village was more important than his shell. They told him if he cared about his shell more than their destroyed homes then he couldn’t help them rebuild. Hilo was hurt that they didn’t care about his missing shell and continued to cry.

That night most of the turtles spread rumors about how Hilo wasn’t a much of a turtle without his shell. He overheard them say that they thought he was disgraceful to their community because he didn’t care about the other turtles who lost their homes. At this Hilo grew angry. He whined to his mother, “I don’t need their help anyway! I’ll find my shell without their help and then they’ll see that I don’t need them! Once I find my shell I’m going to find another turtle village that actually cares about me and I’ll live with them.” In a rage, he stomped through the grassy sand towards the boastful roar of the ocean. He traveled the rest of the night until he found the giant fallen tree that his sand house used to stand next to. He dug deep into the sand until the sun rose, when he finally saw a glassy red from his shell sparkling in the light. He pulled with all his might until the shell rose from the sand. Hilo danced in joy at the sight of his shell, but he soon stopped when he took a better look and found cracks and scratches all over it. It looked nearly destroyed and he thought it might fall apart if he tried to put it on, and so, again, he broke down in tears.

Later that day, his mother and father caught up with him, followed by the rest of the turtles. “Hilo! Why are you still crying?” His mother rushed to his side to comfort him. She saw his shell was broken and tried to comfort him by saying, “Hilo, don’t despair. You can wear your grandfather’s shell. We kept it in order to remember him.” Hilo just shook his head and turned his shell in the sun light to see how much of it would glow and found that it hardly had any glow at all.
The other turtles saw his broken shell and one spoke up, “Now that your shell has been found will you help us rebuild our beach village?”

Hilo shouted, “None of you care that my shell is broken and that I’m naked! All you care about is your homes! How would you like it if your shell got destroyed?” He pouted and then cried, “I’m going to find another village of turtles who will actually cares about my problem!” At this he turned and begun to travel up the beach. He walked for day after day until he grew too tired to carry on. He dug a hole in the sand next to a large rock and rested in it.
A seagull dropped from the sky and raced up to Hilo’s shelter in the sand. “Mine!” it yelled and stated and poked its beak into the hole to grab Hilo. Hilo covered his eyes and screamed, but just at that moment a sea lion butted the seagull away with its head. “Mine!” The gull squawked in a fit of rage, but the sea lion just pushed the gull away again with its mighty tail and it flew off over the ocean.

“Don’t eat me!” cried Hilo as he shook in sight of the giant sea lion.

The beast, who called himself Bubba, shook with laughter. “I’m not going to eat you, little one. I’ve been following you for some time trying to figure out why you’re traveling so far without a shell.”

“Don’t make fun of me.” Hilo slowly crawled out of his hole. “I had the most beautiful shell of all the turtles in the world and the ocean took it away from me when it washed over my village. The other turtles didn’t care and now I’m trying to find a village that does care. The other turtles only care about their own homes that the ocean destroyed.”

Again, Bubba shook with laughter. “You poor thing. Do you really think another village will care about your shell? They’ll never get to see it on you and they’ll probably just think you’re bragging.”

Hilo looked around nervously and tried to come up with an answer. “I guess I never thought of it that way.”

Bubba set his head down on the sand in front of Hilo. “Do you notice anything weird about me?”

Hilo studied the sea lion and shook his head. “No.”

The sea lion showed a big toothy grin. “You see, little friend, you can’t even notice what’s wrong with me! Why should they notice what’s wrong with you? Go back to your village, find a new shell, and make some friends to have fun with. You don’t need anything special to brag about to get turtles to like you.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Hilo kept studying its face.

“I have no whiskers. I was born that way. At first everyone made fun of me for it, but then I realized that it is a funny thing. Now I make fun of myself too and we all get along. I’ve never loved life more!” Bubba tilted his head both ways so Hilo could see his bare face. “Now, let me give you a ride back to your village so you can apologize to the other turtles and help them all rebuild. They’ll love you for helping them. Nothing can take away that kind of appreciation – not even the ocean.”

Hilo looked out at the ocean for a while and considered what the sea lion said. “I like you, even if you don’t have whiskers.” Then he climbed up on Bubba’s back. “I’m ready to go back now.”

Bubba laughed some more and scooted towards the ocean waters. “Good choice! Hang on tight little friend!” They swam back to the beach village and Hilo thanked him and said farewell.

The turtles all raced towards Hilo as he walked up towards them. “You’re alive!” they shouted with joy. “We thought we’d lost you for good!”

“You were worried about me?” Hilo asked in confusion. “I thought you were mad at me.”

All the turtles shook their heads. “We realized we were wrong to be mad at you. You lost your shell, which was really important to you. We’re very sorry.”

Hilo smiled. “Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry! You all lost your homes and I didn’t care. I want to help you rebuild.”

One of the elder turtles spoke up. “Please, wear your grandfather’s shell. We’ll paint it for you. But first, let’s rebuild our homes!”

A few beautiful sunny days later, all the turtles had new sand homes once again. They all agreed that they were thankful for the ocean taking away their old village because they all liked their new homes much better. The elder turtle walked up to Hilo and thanked him for all his help. The other turtles agreed and also thanked Hilo. Then his father pushed his grandfather’s shell towards him. “Put this on, son.” Hilo grinned and admired the shell. He recognized the pattern of his grandfather’s shell, but admired the colorful painting job all the other turtles did on it. It didn’t glow in the sunlight, but it was very pretty and had a better pattern than his old shell. He walked into the shell and all the turtles in the village cheered. Hilo joyfully walked around the turtles so they could see.
Then Hilo made an announcement. “I don’t want to be the only special turtle in this village. Let’s paint all of our shells!” The turtles cheered and danced at the idea. Over the next few weeks the turtles did nothing but paint each other’s shells. Lots of birds and other ocean creatures circled the village to watch the spectacular event and offered suggestions and help.

Ever since Hilo got his shell painted, the village of turtles had become famous across the entire beach. Other turtles and sea creatures often visited to admire the shells and play. The beach had never been a happier place.

The End

Car Wash!

My truck probably hadn't had a wash in close to a year. I don't drive every day, and when I do drive it's usually short distances, but it was filthy regardless! How does someone with Chemical Sensitives safely wash a fifthly car? As it turns out, it's not about using extra store bought car wash.

I spent more time than I care to admit searching the internet for homemade car wash recipes. What I learned quickly is that there is quite the debate on what ingredients to use. Most people say to use dish soap, recommending Dawn (which I know some of you with MCS can safely use, but it doesn't work for me,) because dish soap lathers and scrubs very effectively. Everyone else says that dish soap is a terrible choice because it's designed to cut grease, and that same action can strip wax off your car. I checked my Biokleen Fragrance Free dish soap to if it had ingredients in harsher soaps that would strip wax, and found naturally derived sodium laurel sulfate, which is designed to scrub and strip whatever it's washing. So I opted against dish soap.

Instead, I decided to go with what the least amount of bloggers recommended: a mix of plant-based powdered laundry soap with white vinegar. White vinegar, because it's an acid, is fantastic at loosening dead bugs and glued on grime, as well as cleaning windows. I happened to have some Seventh Generation Fragrance Free laundry powder soap, so I went with that.

(Tangent: I know that many people refuse to support Seventh Generation because they do use pesticides, which get into their products. In my opinion, they're so much cleaner and less toxic than all other mainstream brands that can be found at Target and Walmart that I see more harm in boycotting them. I'd rather keep the brand popular enough to continue being sold at places like Target and Walmart. Wouldn't you rather people buy something with a minor amount of potentially toxic ingredients than Tide, All, Downy, Gain, and the other very popular and very toxic soaps? Tide gives me rashes, and the scent gives me pounding headaches and aches, which fatigues me so much I can hardly focus on anything else. Seventh Generation is "good enough" for me, but I typically do buy other brands.)

My recipe was this:
- White vinegar: fill a bucket about an 8th full
- Laundry Powder: A heaping scoop added to the bucket
- Water

...And most importantly:
- Pressure Washer

I don't own a pressure washer. My plan was to use my garden hose with a decent spray nozzle. I can't tell you if that would have worked well, because I didn't get to try it. If my car wasn't THIS dirty, I'm sure it would have worked well. My father-in-law, who is an incredibly self-sufficient and very well supplied man who never ever ceases to amaze me, does own a pressure washer, and invited us to come over and use it for the car wash. Since I'm sure the vast majority of my readers don't have access to a pressure washer, I'll pass on advice from other blogs: go to a self-serve car wash with a hose. Apparently most of them do allow you to use your own soap, so all you're paying for is the use of their pressure washing hose and water. For people with MCS, this could be a problem because you'd likely smell the soap from the other stalls.

The pressure washer got the majority of the dirt off of my truck before adding in the soap. It was the most necessary ingredient! We then added in the soap. It lathered really well, didn't smell (well, the vinegar smelled a little), and was doing its job. My husband then scrubbed down my truck while the soap was on it, then we rinsed, then we dried with camel leather (I'm not kidding when I say my father-in-law is well supplied.)

As it turns out, my truck is actually black! ;)

The soap worked. It didn't leave any new scratches, it got tons of dead bugs off my hood, my windows looked cleaner than ever, and my truck was shining in the sunlight again! It needs a wax job pretty badly, but it looked way cleaner than it's ever been after going through a drive through car wash!

The best part? The soap won't kill your grass or flowers. Or you. It's safe to let it wash off into gravel or your street drain. Have you ever read the warning labels on a bottle of store-bought car wash? They make it clear not to let the soapy water get into your lawn.

Before:



After:





I hope that this post encourages you to think twice about what products you use and WHY you use them. Do you really need to buy car wash, or can you safely and effectively use ingredients you already have? Sure, chemists will claim that car wash is a special formulation that is a highly effective cleaner without stripping wax or scratching your paint... whatever. I'm sure it's true, but that doesn't mean that natural, eco-friendly, people-friendly, non-toxic ingredients don't do the same thing. Not only that, but think about how that car wash affects the water supply, plant life, and animal life. Natural, safe ingredients won't cause the same degree of harm.

I'm considering making homemade car wax next. That gets more challenging, as the wax needs to be strong enough to stick to the car and truly coat it. I've seen many recipes, but how often do you have to wax? How effective is it? Will it come off on your hands every time you touch the car? We'll see if I take this on. :)


Note:
Many bloggers and posts on forums recommended pure castile soap, such as Dr. Bronner's Sal's Suds. I did have a couple bottles of his soap, but this would have been the more expensive option. I also wasn't comfortable running it through a pressure washer in case it would have clogged it up. I plan to try using this at home with my bucket and garden hose next time.

Make Up - Why wear it?

I've been asked a few times why I take a chance on wearing make up when I'm fully aware of the toxicity of make up products. I've covered this before, but I'll give a slightly different answer in this post.

First and foremost, I'm extremely careful about the make up that I use. The brands that I like best (that I've tried) are Lauren Brooks Cosmetiques, specific products from Mineral Fusion (their liquids contain dimethicone, which I don't tolerate, but their powders are great), and MyChelle (which I'm not linking to because they discontinued their make up line - which is such a shame!)  These brands are very careful about their ingredients, upholding strict standards. Their missions are to be truly non-toxic, mineral and flower based make up. They're also fragrance free!

Secondly, I'd like to give you some picture examples:

This is me without make up, after washing my face and moisturizing (with Badger's Unscented Face Oil):




This is me after applying Mineral Fusion's pressed powder foundation, eye liner, and mascara:



The make up makes me look a lot more alive and healthy, right? Okay, I'm super pale and I'm wearing my summer shade of foundation, lol! I'm out of my winter shade. I can't hide the eye bags with eye make up, but I can distract from them and reduce their appearance. That's worth a lot to me. When I'm at work or with friends or with family, I'd rather them not see just how tired I really am. I like to fool people into thinking I'm normal. I'll be very open and honest here on this blog, but in person, I want to look and act my best. It makes me feel better; it makes me feel like I have more energy than I do simply by looking the part.

I also don't wear make up every day. I pretty much only put it on on work days (3 days a week) or when my husband has a performance I'm able to attend.

I'd actually encourage those of you struggling with chronic fatigue to do this every once in a while. Put on some fun clothes, do your make up and hair, and enjoy the way you look. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Don't do it to make a statement. Do it for you - remind yourself how you can look and be. If you let the fatigue rule you, you'll start to give in to it and let it determine how you always feel. I know, I know. You don't feel like putting the effort into it. Believe me, I know! But when you're feeling slightly better than usual, go for it! You need to remember who you would be if you were not sick.